11th December 2009

1stly, its abt 19days more to my bday n so i m counting down viv happy moments..... hopefully tis coming 19days leading to my bday is filled viv even more happy moments..........

2ndly, tomolo is my CFP exam n i m so so blank now....... watever tat i studied oredi went blank d..... after tis exam, i hv another test next mth for promotion excercise.... guess wat... for tis stupid promotion excercise test, i hv text tats a thick as oxford to study!!!! really kanasai lo...... was thinking tat i cld relax n njoy my holidays, mana tau got tis mastery test pula..... haiz..................

3rdly, today was rushing to run errands n while getting into my car, the door was opening to wide n so i tried to pull the door, mana tau i felt so painful n when i finally pulled the door closed, oni to realised tat i almost broke my nails n it was bleeding...... the nails n the flesh of my fingers, due to the impact of door opening too fast, actually bended my nails the other way n was torn n so it started to bleed..... tomolo wan to exam liao like tat pula..... now my finger is so numb..... hopefully tomolo it does not get worst til i kenot write.......

4thly, i m so in the holiday mood i dun feel like working at all....... xmas la, my bday la..... so happy lo..... speaking of xmas, i still hv yet to buy xmas present for my coll.... tomolo after exams, i will b meeting oyi n hun to go shopping as well as surveying for our biz......

i shd sign off now liao..... shd go sleep earlier n wake up earlier tomolo morning n prepare for exams....... gambateh ne!!!!

8th of November 2009

today is not a very good day..... early morning, woke up to the noise of my mum n brother talking..... my bro's car accident yet AGAIN!!!!! he crashed on to the curb n his front bumper n tyre rims all gone..... luckily, he is still ok.... my dad was very angry cos tis yr alone, tis is the 3rd accident oredi....... n wasted so much on repairing the car oredi...... after tat, mum told me tat my grandaunt passed away tis morning at the old folks home...... if not mistaken, she is oredi over 100yrs old..... R.I.P. grandaunt.......

me leh... i m so looking forward to my vacation...... i'll b leaving for macau coming next mon........ been waiting so long for tis trip...... tis yr din go anywhere far...... the oni 1 place tat i've been to tis yr is cameron highlands....... plus, while watching born rich, i felt tat sabah is so so beautiful..... hoping tat i can go there too..... but tis yr oredi too late..... next yr la..... next yr, me wanna go s'pore, hopefully taiwan........ locally, i wan to go malacca, langkawi n sabah....... but then $$$ dun seem to dry at a fast pace....... so everything goes back to $$$ planning 1st then oni c if i m able to go all places..... going macau, i m oredi doubting if the $$$ i taking over is enuff for my use lo...... haiz..... really $$$ not enuff lo..... hahahahaha!!!!!!

30th October 2009

backache is back again..... tis time, its not the lower back.... its the upper back tat aches.... n i cant twist my body at all...... so painful..... tomolo if got the time, wan to go c dr d.....

15th of October 2009

i m damn sick!!!! it got worst when i woke up tis morning n suffered whole day sitting under the air-cond tat i start hving headache...... feel so pening now yet i still hv to go sumwhere to settle sth...... though the dr gave a day off tomolo, i m still thinking......

confirmation has been done n it really is his youngest bro...... i tot so though i oni saw him once.... cos tat very 1 time i saw him, he really scared me.... cos he resembles his eldest bro very much..... tat y seeing him again tis time, i was caught by surprised.......

14th of October 2009

sick.... i m falling sick.... woke up viv a swollen tonsil n sorethroat..... it was so bad tat eating bread for breakfast is like swallowing stones...... by evening, i m starting to sneeze til at nite, my voice starts changing n nose starts to get stuck oredi.... i think in a few days time i will b even worst.......

13th of October 2009

HEADACHE, HEADACHE & MORE HEADACHE!!!!!!! when will it ever go away!!!!!!!! i feel like i m abt to get sick..... starts hving sore throat oredi.... i think my tonsils r starting to swell....... soon, fever will follow.......

12th of October 2009

early morning oredi receive bad news, followed by an inconsiderate customer complain n a DAMN busy day n a stupid backache...... bad news is, my partner is on mc AGAIN....... early morning she oredi smsed me to inform me n tat she is very sorry...... then i reach office n being introduced to our new Deposit Sales Officer n being put in charged of him..... was asked to teach him bout products, procedures, workflow n everything tat he is to noe n has connection to his job..... but i told tat guy, jason, tat i dun hv time to teach him so much today as i m working alone today n tat he is to observe wat i do n if he dun understand, to jot it down n then ask me after work..... n i oso told him to get well-versed viv all the product info so tat when i m explaining, he wun b seeing stars.... i noe today he saw stars n up above his head, a lot of ??? signs..... but wat to do.... 1st day nia...... hopefully tomolo my partner comes back to work n then i can clear more of my things liao.....

tis evening, i saw him again..... fr the way he walks, he did look a bit like him..... but i really dun noe if its really him....... who can i ask bout tis? janice? or my godsis's husband?

today is not very good... but then sumbody i admired came n lighten up my day...... he ask bout my partner n y she alwix mc.... n tat he noes i m very bz tats y he normally dun bug me long.... then i told him tat i very tired being tis bz all the time n then he said to me tat he will employ me under his co n i ask when can report for duty, he answered tomolo n then i said go which branch, he said any branch..... make me laugh so much...... customers like tis la good..... at least they r understanding..... sum ppl r very inconsiderate wan..... but then most of my regular customers r very understanding bout my situation.... they noe tat i m very bz wan so they will b very very considerate....... those who alwix complain r non-regulars.......

11th October 2009

last fri, after work, i went to my next door mini market to get sum titbits for me to munch on while watching.... mana tau, i had another shock..... on wed, while tokking to my godsis's husband, he informed me tat D's brothers r back in the co n now based at pmtg branch (1st shock)..... then fri evening while in car msging my fren for fri nite's outing, i saw D!!! i think its him cos he really looks like him..... i tot i was too sleepy or mayb lately thinking too much bout him tat i had illusions..... is it really him? i dun noe who to ask..... tat guy in turn saw me n then straightaway, face changed n turned away..... at the same time, i scrolled down my window for the hot air to go out, n i heard him tokking.... i tried hard to listen if its his voice but the sound of my engine is much louder.... then i saw tat D's cousin n another staff was looking my way n then his way..... i really dun noe if it is really really him..... i noe he had a gr8 future in Kia n heard tat he is quite good at wat he is doing there.... plus he hates his aunt so much tat i doubt he will come back to work for her lo.... but tis guy really looks like him.......

i noe lately i hv been thinking too much bout the past n him..... i jz dun xpect to c him..... if it is really him, wat will my reactions b? wat will his reactions b? last fri, i buat tak tau lo.... cos i really needed to sms hun n peng's husband to arrange tat nite's outing...... god, wat a time to do tis to me...... if u ask me if i love him, yes i do.... i loved him very very much...... but will i ever get back viv him, nope i wun...... he hurted me too much for me to forget wat he did then....... jz as sum1 told me, i no longer trust guys but myself after wat happened...... whenever i wanna give a try for a relationship, i will start hving tots tat tis guy will hurt me, tat he will cheat on me n tat he will lie to me..... tis is really bugging tat i kenot tahan.... so i opt to stay single for as long as i still hv tis phobia...... hopefully, i will recover......

now looking forward for my macau trip next mth.... hopefully everything goes as plan....... crossing fingers n praying damn hard.....

05th October 2009

damn!!!! my backache is so bad today til i really kenot tahan d...... went to c the dr but he said he can oni give me painkillers..... took 1 jz now which according to the dr is the highest dosage but i m still in pain now..... i guess i hv to go for massage d.... but i doubt if it can last..... according to old ppl, once hurt, whenever there is rain, the pain will come.... if not mistaken, its called rheumatism...... even the dr i went oso blieve..... tats y he cld oni prescribe painkillers n advise to eat healthily...... hopefully tis pain will go away..... really kenot tahan lo..... sampai my leg oso lenguh oredi.....

tis evening, peng came to visit n brought along her wedding album.... damn nice lo..... $$$ flying sure nice lo.... abo her husband will kek si lo..... time really flies.... tats time when she told me she is getting married, it was barely half yr ago..... mana tau, now she is getting married in a mth's time!!!! finally, the 1st to b married fr the 5 musketeers is peng...... n i guess more to come since we r aging oredi.... its really fun to b able to help out in the process of preparing for marriage..... esp when its for the 5 musketeers sisters...... looking forward to help out viv the rest of the sisters... ahem.... if u guys noe who i meant.... hahahahaha!!!!!

04th October 2009

woke up today feeling better but as the day goes by, the backache starts to trigger..... woke up early tis morning to travel to sp for my skin specialist appointment which was delayed for a mth plus due to hectic schedule..... headed there n by the time reach, there were so many ppl there queueing up oredi...... ysl n i got no. 34 & 35 which was expected to b around 12pm b4 we get to c the dr...... ate our breakfast at the nearby coffee shop n head back to the clinic to ait for our turn.... we sat there til our no is called n went in to c the dr..... gd news is i can finally stop taking the medicine oredi cos my skin had improved since the 1st appointment.... today the dr even changed my cream to a new course n so i hv to go back to c him again in a mth's time to c if the new course is suitable.......

when we were abt to leave, we saw tat there was a piece of long yellow paper on the windscreen.... when i took it up, i saw tat it was a summon..... KNS!!!! like tat oso kena saman.... tis police really teruk.... we've been there so many times but never once kena saman..... reason for the saman is 'tidak mempamerkan kupon meletak kereta'..... SWT!!! how la r we suppose to noe tat in sp, parking hv to show the parking coupon...... we tot it was like penang where there is an attendant to write receipt..... buta kena saman wan..... plus we dun even noe where the heck is the municipal council so we hv to drive back vivout paying..... tomolo oni go n ask my another coll to help us..... she is fr sp so she will now how to do viv it... plus, will ask her to buy the parking coupon for us so tat next time we r there can display the coupon...... haih.... RM30 for a parking lesson.... kanasai!!!!

02nd of october 2009

oredi 1 week liao having backache...... now walk oso satu macam d...... sum more hv to walk slower than usual.... sampai regular customers oso realised n asked wat happened....... haiz....... how i miss tat sum1 who wld massage my back for me back then...... haiz..... anyway, in 2 weeks to come, it marks the 2nd anniversary of a dreadful ending.... cant blieve how time flies so fast...... n pretty soon, i m leaving for macau.... really cant wait lo...... so i m crossing fingers n praying damn hard for my backache to b cured.......

28th September 2009

haiz..... been xtremely bz lately viv so many things to do yet so little time...... very tired of working life.... really cant wait for my macau trip...... tired til writing title oso i type November..... u c la... i really pening d.... earlier tis mth, went to cameron for a 2D1N viv colls..... the air there is jz so refreshing.... pg air really kenot compare lo..... pg air is so polluted, even in office oso..... lately a lot of disagreements in the office fr all directions n i m getting really tired..... plus, my class started oredi n i felt very tired..... 2nd class oredi n i fell asleep in the class!!! haih...... oso, tis mth work oso very bz cos my partner on mc for 3 weeks as she was admitted to hospital for her sinus n after tat was raya oredi..... today she is finally back n i can finally start to clear up my mountain high backlog..... last fri while working alone, my backache suddenly came n it attacked so suddenly tat i was rooted when it attacked..... n not oni once but many times til i kenot tahan n started limping around the office..... my x-manager saw me in so much pain n he advised me to go swimming as it will help my backache...... hopefully i can finish all my backlog n start going for my swimming n massage n badminton...... really in need to excercise lo...... lately been getting fatter..... haih.......

lately, i've been stung by the memory of the past n even dreamt of them..... a past which was supposed to b buried n forgotten but as the memory came, those sad feelings came flooding back.... recently, i found out tat he no longer works in pg island.... he is now in juru n very successful in his job.... customers luvs him for his knowledge in his profession..... its a gd thing cos tat was wat he had wanted.... recognition...... he once told me tat he worked so hard then at the previous company n attended every training given by the company n in the process, kinda 'ignored' me during tat time is for tis recognition n for our future...... though he finally did it for his career, he lost out in relationship viv all those lies n hurt he did to me...... nevertheless, he had nth to lose oso cos he had another viv him too..... he mz b sharing his joy viv her.....

anyway, i dun hv any regret for breaking up..... at least, i put a stop to all those hurt n lies n moved on..... n cld b bcos of him, now i prefer to stay as i m now...... whenever i tot of giving myself a chance in luv, i will b bugged down by questions if he is being true to me, if he is cheating on me, if he really luvs me for who i m.... tis tots bugged me so much tat i felt so insecure n in the end, i choose to stay single..... so my status now shd read as being single but not up in the market....... insecurity really kills me.... so, sorry if i ever hurt any1 viv tis decision..... frens r being quite supportive, listening to me when i needed them....... thank u so much........ oni time will erase all tis fr me...... pls bear viv me.......

sad over inconsiderate ppl......

congratulations to andy n carol for finally being able to publicly announce their relationship.... its a pity to both of them as they suffer hving to hide their love for each other..... 24yrs is damn long lo...... as i read more n more of fans reply to his announcement, i feel real sad cos they were being very selfish to andy..... yes, they adore him n 'pray' him like a god but he is oso a human...... come on.... u need love n so does him...... he is going to be 48yrs old tis yr n its more than about time to get married d lo........ leave andy n carol alone la..... let them enjoy their new life together.....

though i m not a great fan of andy but lately reading bout him n carol makes me so sad..... sad tat most of his fans r so inconsiderate of his being...... he loves carol but for fear of rejection fr his fans, he had kept tis a secret for 24yrs..... as a gal, she shd hv her recognition oredi la..... most of andy's fans r gals, so u shd understand tat hving recognition as ur guy's wife is very important..... so give ur blessings to them instead of giving them so much trouble..... afterall, she is oredi pregnant.....

7th of July 2009

really dun noe wat to say bout her..... monday MC, today EL, tomolo EL, thurs i bet i oso EL n fri AL!!!! WTF!!!!! n when i wan to apply leave for monday to take my mum do things, my idiot ABM dun allow cos its a replacement holiday!!!! Fri is oso a replacement holiday wat, y let her take leave? my previous ABM wld not approve leave on days like tat wan lo so as to b fair to the other person as well...... now i m so fed up viv work n life n pik chik n TL!!!!! damn TL lo!!!! its oredi July n i still hv not dcided where to go for a holiday yet...... be it far or near, i dun mind..... really jz wan to go sumwhere tat i can relax n forget abt work...... i m damn tired!!!!

23rd of June 2009

haih...... yesterday i was feeling very undecided n its all bcos of wat my ABM told me..... he told me abt a new post in the branch n asked me to apply for it...... Deposit Sales Officer..... selling deposit products..... but the moment i heard sales, its plastered all over my head n i was put off by tat dreadful word....... in terms of knowledge, i noe i m capable of taking up the post but sales????? if i wan to do sales, earlier on i wld hv applied for BSE d la...... prob is i hv never been interested in sales.... sales is never my rice bowl....... i prefer paper work than sales....... i was so so so undecided tat i wan to go crazy d...... whole day i was calling frens n colls for opinions.... n wat i can summarised is its a mixture of opinions...... sum say its a gd thing...... most say i shd think over very carefully n seriously......... at one point of time, i really tot i can do it n built enuff confident to take up the offer..... but reached home n my parents says no...... they checked viv my aunt n she oso feel tat its not a gd thing..... sales is related to targets n if i cant meet the expectations, i m doomed!!!! fact is, its oso 1 of the points tat i m worried abt...... the other is networking........ haih.....

today went to office very sure wan to reject the offer d but when i tried telling my ABM, he still insist tat i take up the offer...... he said tat he is very very confident tat i will make it thru but fact is, i dun even hv the confident in myself...... i can feel tat he is trying to brainwash me to accept the offer...... now i m still bogged by tis n really cant think of a gd way to tell politely tat i really dun wan to accept....... when he insisted, i asked abt the consequences of not meeting the expectations n he cld not even give me any assurance..... he can oni say tat he will support me..... i cant afford to lose my job u noe n sales is definately not in my league.... like keing hua said, i rather b the 1st in the 2nd class than b the last in the 1st class........ haih........... fan lou................. i m oredi very very sleepy n tired n add 1 more fan lou to me......

now i really wan to go n sleep d..... watever it is, leave it to tomolo.... afterall, its no hurry...... not tat they were given any dateline..... i will try my best to get the message to my ABM...... wish me luck!!!

16th of June 2009

tis noon, there was a snatch theft in front of my office..... tis 2 malay guys on a motorcycle, snatched a chinese lady's bag n ran away but unfortunately, the lady screamed very very loudly n everybody who heard her ran after tat motorcycle..... u really cant imagine it.... within seconds, a pajero crashed the motorcycle to ground n there was a group of 20-30 ppl crowding around the motorcycle n beat up the 2...... helmets, wood, steel fr nearby rubbish bin cld b seen at the seen...... the crowd comprises of those who happen to b hving lunch nearby n heard n most of them r malays oso..... according to my boss, who oso went there to kaypo, those who beat up the 2 was heard saying tat its a disgrace to them, the malays...... n the 2 oso kena very teruk lo....... imagine 20-30 ppl crowding ard u to beat u up..... one person 1 time nia oso teruk lo..... but then was 1 person dun noe how many times lo..... when i walked near the window to c time, i saw the 1st person guy to hit viv a helmet, hit them many times lo...... sum more kick leh..... but then, padan muka oso wan la..... of all profession, y choose to b a snatch theft? u noe, how many of them led to the death of their victims? esp pregnant ladies? i can still recall 1 case tat happen in JB where tat bloody fool snatch thief snatched her bag n when she struggled viv them, they kicked her motorcycle n she fell...... n she is 8mths pregnant...... imagine the trauma her husband will go thru...... plus, my coll's aunt oso bcame a snatch thief victim rite in front of her hse..... n tat snatch thief kicked n beat her up...... sad to say tis is malaysian...... the economy is bad n most ppl r out of jobs but tis is not wat u shd choose to do....... haih.....

12th of June 2009

tis evening, received a msg fr a fren tat a schoolmate of mine had passed away due to heart problems...... really sad to noe tat..... she n i were once close frens during primary school n remembered tat she told me b4 regarding her situation..... then she lept on telling me tat she will leave 1 day n i of cos told tat it will not happen..... but tat was long time ago...... i guess she had lived her life to the fullest all tis while fearing tis day will come..... Siew Lee, we will miss u n may u rest in peace.........

11th of june 2009

wanna share a meangingful quote tat i read in my email.... brings back a lot of memories for me.....

"never break 4 things in ur life - trust, promise, relation n heart bcos when they break, they dun make noise but cause a lot of pain"

i hated ppl who breaks the 4..... in the past, he broke each of the 4 over time.... one by one he broke me into pieces..... he made promises but never keep them though i m so foolish to still blieve tat he will still keep his promises to me... n tats y i hurted so badly.... but now, its all buried 6ft underground...... no longer trust ppl, no longer blieve promises made by others...... all tis is to guard myself against the pain n hurt tat i dun wish to go thru again...... i've learnt to b selfish for myself...... selfish to protect myself.......

03rd of June 2009 - 2nd half

jz got back fr the rehearsal at EQ n luckily the day ended up nicely....... we were told to b there at 7 but i was a little late as i reached home at almost 6pm n hv to rest n bath n then travel there....... but when i reached there was no 1 there yet.... oni the kids n their parents n sum staff nia...... n we sat there until he(RD) came n everything starts to roll....... n he was very precise today going thru one by one n commenting 1 by 1....... so by the time its our turn to dance, it's oredi 11++pm!!!!! guess how sleepy i was considering tat we had sat there since 7pm n oni get to dance at 11pm!!!!! now as i m typing tis, my eyes r closing yet still on msn call viv a fren...... plus.... today dun noe wat wrong viv my dance partner, he danced wrong during our tango......... n he was non stop apologising to me....... u noe, today RD requested to record our rehearsal for the making of the AD 2009 to b presented to Tan Sri n i noe everybody is very kin cheong cos they dun wan to do any mistake during the recording...... luckily both of us r rite at the side where the camera cant c us..... haha!!!!! after the dance n when we went to the side, he was non stop apologising for the wrong step n then kept on laughing................. haih..................

oh ya..... jz now the usherettes came to try their clothes n guess wat....... their red dress to b worn on friday morning when welcoming Tan Sri at the hotel is damn sexy man!!!!! they were asked not to wear bra inside as its low back............... n u noe la..... ysl non stop complaining lo..... but there was 1 gal who wore it the best!!!! she is damn sui lo........

now my feet is hurting cos i was not used to wearing boots........... my toes hurts the worst......

03rd of June 2009 - A BLOODY IDIOT DAY FULL OF FRUSTRATION!!!!!!

as the headers says it, today is a bloody idiot day full of frustrations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I M DAMN FRUSTRATED N ANGRY N I REALLY CLD KILL!!!!! early in the morning, tat ms ch'ng come find fault viv abt yesterday's case n kept insisting tat its my mistake which got me so boiled up n frustrated viv anger tat i cld not even finish my breakfast...... then came my partner pula..... i told her to b sharp to reach office at 12.30pm fr lunch as i hv to travel to pulau tikus for a short course but tis idiot came back at almost 1, i m hv to rush to pualau tikus n summore take my lunch!!!! plus, 2 other coll fr other branch is following my transport.... after the course, as i was travelling back, she called to informed tat her maid ran away during lunch n tat she's gotto take 2 days of EL, tomolo n fri, to settle her stuff cos nobody to care for her children!!!! then wat abt me? i m going for rehearsal tomolo n fri as well n i hv requested to leave work early so tat i hv time to rest b4 the rehearsal n granted!!!!! now tis!!! then wat time oni i can go back if she is not working? who is going to finish up the things for me? FYI, I M NOT PAID OT FOR THE REHEARSAL U NOE..... N NOT GIVEN TIME OFF FOR THE LOST SLEEP WAN U NOE!!!!! I M OREDI VERY VERY TIRED DUE TO NOT ENUFF SLEEP TIS PAST FEW DAYS N SUM MORE WORRIED BOUT MY STUDIES!!!!! I KNEW TIS IS GOING TO COME TATS Y I OSO INSISTED TAT I DO NOT WAN TO PARTICIPATE IN THE STAFF PERFORMANCE AT THE 1ST PLACE..... SO NOW HOW? I HV TO ENDURE TIS ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F**K!!!!!

I ONI I CLD KILL, THE 1ST TO B DEAD IS MY DAMN PARTNER N THE 2ND IS MS CH'NG...... PLUS NEXT YR ONWARDS, NO MORE STAFF PERFORMANCES N THEME AWARDS N ALL TAT KIND OF THINGS OREDI...... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! DAMN TIS LIFE N TODAY!!!!! I BET TONITE IS NOT GOING TO B A GD NITE FOR ME AS WELL....... ALL STARTED VIV TAT F**KING MS CH'NG!!!!!!!!

2nd of june 2009

jz came back from the dance rehearsal at YMCA...... today our skirt is finally here n its...... not nice...... its so bulky n heavy.... n guess wat, our top is a corset..... haih..... i wan to pengsan d..... jz now sum more ask me to try the corset cos wanna take my measurement..... fact is, i cant even fit into tat corset....... haha!!!! how i wished i dun hv to dance mana tau, the trainer said tat i will wear a tube inside n the will pin the corset for me pula....... means tat no matter how oso kena pakai d lo..... haih............... plus, my partner commented tat my skirt is too 'phong' for him to stand bhind me closely which is the directive of the trainer n he laughed..... KNS!!!!! i oso felt so... the skirt very kembang lo cos they sew the nettings bneath..... and its not jz 1 nettings..... its a lot!!!! the skirt is 5kg in weight!!!!! can u imagine tat? its equivalent to a packet of rice...... n our dress is black in color..... though the nettings r colourful......

after the dance, i was down viv bad headache n i felt like hitting my head to the wall..... the headache is really driving me to the walls...... even as i m typing tis, my head is throbbing..... tonite mz rest early cos tomolo nite onwards my dance practice is at nite..... our full dress rehearsal is on thurs n fri on actual stage........ i blieve we will overcome watever tat comes our way within tis 3 days for the best performance on sat nite..... wish me well guys!!!! oh ya..... wish tat i n D***** will stirke sum spark!!!!! wakakaka..... jz joking..... afterall, i was kinda hoping tat a dream o mine will come true....... hehehe!!!!! cross fingers............. haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

29th of May 2009

so fast oredi come to the end of may d..... n dinner is next weekend..... i m starting to feel nervous...... nervous if i will hv stage fright on the real day n make mistake..... 1st rehearsal on wed nite for razak dali (RD) to qc n i wore the boots tat i newly bought on tues nite.... n sufferred toe ache after the 1st rehearsal b4 RD came..... n i changed to my comfy white 'mousy' flats n the 2nd rehearsal was perfect...... i cld not do a split viv the boots at the surface n my rubber soles does not go viv each other...... i end up stuck halfway splitting n fell to the side...... the 2ns rehearsal was better after changing shoes.... at least my feet dun hurt anymore..... n i did the split nicely n gracefully compared to the 1st....... when it came to tango..... 1st time ard, he was ok..... 2nd time, he crashed on me so hard even harder than last thurs' rehearsal at YMCA..... so i told him tat if he were to crashed on me so hard on the real day, i will fall off the stage d n he laughed n apologised.....

next week, will b practicing fr tues onwards...... i bet i m going to hv a hell of time considering tat i will not b having enuff sleep...... luckily, i m on leave from 9th onwards for a week for exam preparations...... lately..... i felt tat i hv been dreaming of my dance partner too much...... dun noe y oso...... ada saja mimpi nia...... funny funny 1s oso hv...... romantic 1s as well..... how come i dun dream of the guy tat i like to c in the dance group ar? hmmm........ hope tonite will dream of him la..... hahahaha!!!! anyway, wish me well for the coming week til the real day.... pray tat i dun do mistake..... hope everything goes well be it rehearsal or the real day...... pray tat i will overcome tis stage fright feeling in me...... gambateh, pg region 1!!!!!!!!

23rd of May 2009

hv u read the news today? well.... i read n came across a stupid remark by the BN to the PKR..... BN is asking PKR to accept the court's decision on BN's winning of the MB post in Perak...... dun u think BN r suppose to accept the court's 1st decision tat PKR is the legal n riteful MB??? did they accept the fact? NO!!!! they filed an appeal n now tis stupid 2nd decision n such funny remark by them..... all tis while i dun really like politics n never read abt it..... but since last yr's elections where PKR won in PG, i started to look out for their progress...... n now viv the Perak crisis, i read more..... but all tis fightings r really getting to me n felt it a nuisance....... n after so long, i felt tat the best solution to all tis is to hv a fresh election for Perak alone to c who will win instead of all tis court appeals n fightings n giving funny remarks...... i felt tat the sultan shd dissolve the assembly n push for a fresh election instead of 'zhau sau pong kun'....... the ppl chose their most trustable politician to help them improve on their well beings n not indulge in tis kind of fights...... since all tis catfights started, i m sure a lot of the ppl's interest hv been left hanging.... y? bcos they cld not even b sure who is the legal n riteful MB!!! y can't BN accept the fact tat PKR won the elections last yr? tis is not sporting at all..... wat is more important r the ppl's interest...... i bet not oni the Perak ppl r getting bored viv all tis catfights, the rest of the ppl r oso getting bored!!!! i can still remember wat Zubedy wrote on 26th of February to all the politicians... i hope he can do the same again for the perak ppl...... i m really sick of all tis catfights btw the top posts n the ppl's interest r all hanging n undone for...... if its tis way, y election? y politicians? might as well the ppl do everything on their own n do away viv all the politicians...... its embarassing to tell ppl tat i m fr m'sia n all abt the best of m'sia when all tis is happening....... ppl abroad look to us for we can hse multi races n still stay united but now? no wonder youngsters of m'sia nowadays r more towards migrating...... i dun deny tat i oso think the same......

i hope all tis ends n gd things will start...... really sick of reading newspaper viv all tis catfights in it....... plus, i m jz voicing my opinion..... i dun mean to hurt anyone...... it had been kept in me for so long n today's article jz hit the spot to voice out......

21st of May 2009

started the week not wanting to continue viv the dance practice as i realised tat i cld not finish revising for my exams next mth..... but when i told my abm my wish, he told me off n tat i can manage both...... i m worried tat i may not get thru tis round as its getting tougher n i can feel it..... but i really cant do anything d except accepting tis fact..... next yr, i will make myself clear tat i will not attend the dinner d..... easier..... n if i fail my exam tis round, i will never heed anything he ask me to do d.....

anyway, back to the dance practice...... last thursday, i was supposed to go to EQ for a rehearsal for the PAD director to c but i fell sick.... so sick tat even awake, i felt very dizzy..... i was on mc tat day so i did not attend the rehearsal..... mana tau tis monday during practice, i was told tat they had change the grand finale steps!!! pening liao... meaning all tis while we hv been practicing the wrong steps.... haih..... plus, last thurs, the rest had practiced at EQ.... so those who din attend missed everything.... so hv to learn again....

the usherettes were ask to go to RM office as well on the same day to take their body measurement for their dress as well as a briefing viv ms chong.... when there is so many ppl there, one the male dancers did a very very malu thing..... he was carrying his partner to the other side of the hall so tat she dun need to run later to get in place for tango.... mana tau, he fell down after 2-3 steps carrying her..... all of us stopped to c them, shocked!!! luckily nth happened.... n it was so malu as everyone was there staring..... hahaha!!!!

i was given off on tues as my partner was to attend court hearing for a case for PBB n i heard tat sth funnier happenned..... while dancing, dun noe which idiot farted n it was so smelly tat everybody stopped halfway n quickly rushed for the window to get fresh air..... according to my coll who went, she said it's so smelly tat she felt like vomiting..... really wondering who wld hv done it man!!!!

wed practice was like usual n khomar quite satisfied though he felt tat all of us were so sleepy n tired.... he played the grand finale song n asked us to dance freestyle but everybody was stunt n jz stood there looking at him, who was so in the mood for dancing..... then, he said tat he felt all of us r still very shy towards each other even after so many weeks dancing to together.... but fact is, yes.... most of us still hv the shy feeling...... wat to do? haih....

today, we had a combined rehearsal at YMCA..... everybody was there n i was panic n shaking as there were 100 over ppl there..... never danced b4 in front of so many ppl..... luckily after it started, i felt better n got over tis feeling..... n while doing the half split, i mz hv done it wrong cos i sprained my ankle.... the 1st time, it was not so as it was jz normal pain..... the 2nd time around got worst n my ankle started to swell..... n, while hving to deal viv the pain, my dance partner pula came to position too fast tat he crashed towards me during the 2 times rehearsals n i almost fell.... luckily he was fast emuff to pull me back or i really fall d.... then he kept apologising..... the 1st time ok la cos my ankle not so bad ma..... the 2nd time, he crashed towards me harder than the 1st time n viv my painful ankle, i was lagi wan to fall..... oredi so unbalance due to balancing on 1 leg.... haih.... my dad jz massaged my ankle for me nia n hope tat it will b better tomolo..... i m thinking if i can drive to work tomolo as i m driving a manual car.... hmmm...... any volunteers to b my driver? nah.... nobody wld wan to go to tis extend for me wan la..... who m i wor?..... i m myself n i m single...... no life partner to care for lo...... but i m not worried cos i noe i will b strong for myself....

07th of may 2009

today had my dance practice viv a visitor.... our trainer's leader came to check our dance practice is up to which level.... n she is such a bloody idiot tat zam n i hated her so much..... i bet the rest oso felt the same..... anyway, we practiced in front of her n she was pin-pointing our problems n wan us to dance like a professional.... but f**k, we r NOT professional!!!!! we r bankers!!!! but then, we cant say a word so jz hv to follow like a lamb..... we danced n danced n danced til she is satisfied but luckily, she did not pin-point at our dance so much compared to the 1st group... the 1st group kept on forgetting their steps n our trainer oso very frus viv them.... though they made it thru viv mistakes, the leader was not very nice.....

worse of all, when ppl start concentrating on my doings, i will start to panic n do wrong.... n i did when she was looking at our tango..... i danced wrongly n my partner, daniel was asking wat i m doing n y i skip step..... i jz replied tat i was being panic..... but he was nice enuff to support me back n i start to calm down a bit.... luckily he was there when i was panic.... if not, i sure kena scolding d..... oh ya!!! today, our trainder add the last step to our can can dance.... n wat was it? its a split!!!! asked us to half split on the stage at the end of our dance n for tat split which tat idiot leader is not satisfied viv esp when one of us kept holding her skirt up when we r suppose to leave it down.... until she did it rite, we hv to repeat spliting.... split til my left knee oso bruised d..... haih..... so ko lian lo...... next week still got sum more lo.... die liao la.......

06th of May 2009

the past few weeks since my last blog had been very very hectic for me... so much to do n yet so little time to fit all in my schedule.... 1stly, my leave for may was rejected xcept for 15ht which i forcefully insist on getting it approved..... 2ndly, the dreaded event of the yr is finally here n will b graced by our bloved Tan Sri Chairman on 6th of june at none other than The Equatorial hotel..... i did not wan to attend at 1st but was forced by the mgt n so i gave in thinking i will attend halfway n then leave early.... manatau, 3rdly, i was chosen to take part in the staff performance!!!! i did not wan to but i was given no choice.... i was ordered to take part even when i rejected n so landed myself dancing during tat dreaded nite!!!! luckily, they asked zamnah to accompany me.... n so we went for the practices n tis is wat we r doing......

its an 8min dance viv 5 diff songs n 4 groups of ppl dancing....

Group 1 : Wild Wild West comprises of 5 gals n 5 guys
Group 2 : Can Can Gals comprises of 14 gals (i m 1 of them)
Group 3 : Guitarist comprises of 6 guys
Group 4 : the 'lalat's comprises of 5 guys

group 1 will dance 1st viv their partners n their dance was tot to b very difficult as a lot of steps viv hands n legs to b remembered.... manatau, today we had a mini rehearsal n guess wat.... among the 5 songs, ours is the worst though very enjoying..... our song is the fastest n the most steps esp concerning the feet..... n we have to wear skirt tat is so long cos we hv to shake the skirt around for the whole song n its xtremely flair..... the followed by 'el-taro' n then spanish flee where we hv to shake-a-bon-bon a lot n i cant do it..... n then the last song will b the tango..... at 1st, we tot, group 1 is the oni group viv couples dancing, manatau, tango oso same..... n my partner is a guy fr pg main n he was my coll's partner last yr too!!! n the tango steps r even worse as it involves a lot of leg twisting n the 1st day, i dun even noe wat i was dancing... even my partner oso ask me..... but i went home n practice twisting at the same spot n improved the next day..... he was surprised tat i did.... wakakaka!!! abo sure very pai seh wan.....

my coll did sth funny viv her partner during tango n our trainer commented.... her partner stood very far away fr her (though holding hands) while she twisting n the trainer said tat the gal wun eat u wan n tat the guy mz stand near the gal like stuck to each other like tat n next, everybody's partner did jz tat..... i almost fell to the front when my partner did tat.... but after so many days of practice, i think we got our steps rite n now dance better.... the oni prob is our can can dance n spanish flee wan.... kept on forgetting steps nia..... so worried n pressured as the Public Affairs' director will b here next thursday to c our rehearsal n we r still not gd enuff....

plus, for the dance practice, i m currently working half day everyday until 2pm n then i hv to head down to main branch for practice.... 1 of my coll said to me tat i was paid to snake..... its true lo..... paid to practice dancing instead of working...... i wonder if other co does tis....... ppl go dinner to enjoy n get together viv the other staff but ours is totally diff..... beauty pageant la, theme awards la, staff performance la, choir la..... haih....... those who hv been to c our dinner will noe wat i m trying to say..... n i hope tis will b the last time i m doing tis for dinner..... i oni wan to attend dinner where i can sit down n enjoy the food n get together viv frens....... if not, i wun wan to attend......

pls forgive me if i did not update my blog cos i will b very bz until the dinner n my exams is over in june...... everyday oso bz n by the time reach home oredi very tired n sleepy to blog d......

21st of April 2009

its been a mth plus since i last blog.... had been very very bz viv other things n appointments..... when i m free, i will b catching up on my lost sleep..... til now, i m still very tired n sleepy..... i noe i can alwix take leave to rest but i wanna save my leave for yr end usage.... me wanna go shopping in kl... plus was thinking of going around m'sia for short travel..... n still thinking n planning....

since the last blog, i had been thinking...... n i guess its jz a memory in me now..... 16th tis mth marks the 2nd anniversary of the worst fight we had which left bruising n in the state of pain n shock, all-in-1........ though i no longer felt the self destruction pain which i felt a yr ago but the memory remains..... n bcos of tis, the memory instilled the habit of being wary of my surroundings n lost interest in relationships..... i hv hoped b4 tat i wld settle down sumday but now, i no longer felt the same.....

my mum esp is starting to worry for me as i m alwix at home n not out getting to noe more frens... i hv bcome very reserved n alwix-at-home person..... haih...... my life..... if oni i can end it rite now, i wld b happier.........

19th of March 2009

its been a yr n a half later n now, a fren known fr the past gave me another news...... she met him n asked bout us...... he told her tat we r still a couple n tat due to sum misunderstandings, we r currently apart for sumtime...... he oso told her tat i will alwix b in heart even after so many things........ if it was a misunderstanding, isn't he suppose to explain n then not repeat the same mistake? but he did not, so wat's the use of saying tat i m still in his heart? if i m still in his heart, y is he still viv her now? no matter how oso its oredi a past..... n i had left tat long ago...... even if he comes back after settling everything, it is oredi too late for getting back...... watever tat i went thru during the 2nd yr of relationship after finding out will forever b in my mind n heart n will leave a deep scar...... tis is to remind me of how foolish i had been to blieve tat he will turn back for me...... even now tat he still insist tat we r still together, it will not change anything in me anymore....... i oni felt tat he is jz covering himself by using my name which will add the work 'jerk' to his strings of nicknames......

bcos of tis past, i will forever b watchful over my relationships........ i felt tat i dun easily trust ppl ard me anymore n tat i shd take care of myself 1st...... i felt like i had bcame very selfish over my concerns........ i hope i will recover from all tis.... lately, i kept having visions of the moment when he tried to stranggle me so tat i wld stop screaming when fighting viv him....... i wld rather he stranggle me to death then.... at least now, i wun b having tis kind of disturbing visions.......

11th of March 2009

i received an email which was quite interesting today..... let me load it here n share viv u....

02nd til 9th of Mar 2009

03rd Mac 2009



well.... sth funny happened.... the whole day i hv been receiving a call fr the same no but i was quite bz during working hrs tat i cld not answer.... until after work n at home, i finally answered the call oni to find out tat the other person on the line is looking for a Ms Koay..... so i replied her tat there is no Ms Koay here n tat she had called the wrong no.... she went blank n blur n then apologize n hang up....... i oso felt weird for a person to call n ask to speak to another person thinking tat tis lady may hv been keeping the old records of an old fren.....



n today n yesterday was quite bz for us all.... viv so many account openings n so many things to follow up on..... phone calls non-stop oso..... haih..... its recession time n many factories r on 4days work system which led to the staff hving off day to come to the bank..... previously, they will hv to take leave or come during their lunch break n tats when the most complain comes in oso cos they r in a hurry n come on.... its lunch break.... if u can think of coming to the bank, everybody else oso do the same!!!!!!! but tis budheads dun think tis way n so file complaint lo n who r the ones suffering? us the working ppl lo... who else?? tats wat happens when ppl dun think of others but themselves....



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4th of Mac 2009

LKH came when i was abt to leave for my lunch n asked if hv change my contact no..... i was surprised by tat question n asked y.... he replied tat his staff called me but i answered tat there was no such person n it got me thinking of the nite b4 when i answered tat particular phone call...... so i laughed n told him tat i did say tat last nite when answering a call n tat it was bcos, tat lady asked to speak to a ms koay..... n he looked at me n asked if my surname was correct n y i said tat, n if it was bcos it has no caller id.... i replied tat it was not bcos it has no caller id cos it cld b my other frens whom i had lost their or did not save their no n tat my surname is khoo n not koay..... then he started to laugh..... he was at the counter then n my coll overheard our conversation n started to laugh oso...... she said to him tat he got no heart tats y wrongly remembers my surname..... n i bet he save my name as koay in his phone as well!!!! LOL!!! haih..... khoo n koay is very big diff lo..... last time, another lady customer addressed me as ms khor which i tot oredi quite funny d.... but now, out of sudden she remembers my name corretly even w/out me telling her..... LKH ar..... haih..... let me laugh non-stop for the day n the days after......... gd memory......

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5th Mac 2009

LKH came viv his mom to open account..... i was abt to go out for my lunch oso but since tat he oredi sat in front of me n my partner asked me to do for him, i did n yakked a bit viv them..... YGL came as she was asking me wat's for lunch n tat LKH got no heart to wrongly remember surname n tat he shd treat me for a meal..... he was so pai seh n laughing non-stop n agreed tat he shd treat me for a meal to 'pou seong'...... while opening account for both of them, his mom was non-stop advertising him saying tat he is a filial son n tat he is very good n etc.... non-stop man!!! n he was so pai seh listening to his mom saying so much....... but too bad, he is oredi married.... oh ya! tis is the 1 thing tat i did not blog here since finding out as i was too bz..... well.... thanks to my 'itchy' hand n wan-to-noe nature, i searched by his name on yahoo n came across a blog written by his wife..... went thru the blog which was full of pictures fr dating to marriage n trips abroad...... dun worry... i was not heartbroken but felt happy for him nia lo..... so u c.... i was jz looking at him nia.... nth much.....

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6th of Mac 2009

nth much to say bout work as nth much happened..... i oni wanted to tat i was looking forward to model for my best fren while learning to pose for my upcoming studio shoot..... had earlier planned to photoshoot tomolo (7th) but bcos my mum request me to take her for her medical check-up, so i had changed to sun(8th) instead...... plus my cousin sis is coming tomolo nite so i will hv a lot of things to...... no plans time, apa pun tak dak..... got plans time, everything oso come at the same time..... haih.....

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7th of Mac 2009

i was so sleepy as i slept late yesterday..... went karaoke viv colls til almost 4am!!!! actually, my coll who fetched me there promised to put me home early as she noes tat i hv to start my day early today.... but bcos we were nosy n wan to c who sent NWT those flowers, we waited n waited for him to come...... haih.... tis morning, woke up early as i gotto fetch my mum to INTI to register my bro for the degree course..... then head to the clinic for her med-check..... after tat, went home n catch sum sleep b4 being woken up by my dad to fetch my cousin.... then went to New Lane for dinner as they wanted to hv PG food!!!! my cousin is mad abt pg food!!! then after tat sent them to my uncle's hse n i head home to sleep at i hv to wake up early tomolo.....

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8th of Mac 2009

happily woke up at 515am n bathed n dressed up for the photoshoot...... waited for YGL to come to make up n then head to fetch oyi n then to Gurney Drive..... took a few pix at the roundabt n then to the Gurney Plaza's garden...... spent abt almost 2hrs there til rachel came...... then went for breakfast b4 dropping by at rachel's hse to change n then head to teluk bahang for the beach..... we went searching for the ideal part of the beach to take picture n finally we found a spot but it was 2pm n the weather was so hot tat i had sunburned as i did not apply sunblock...... we did not spend time there as the weather is to bright for photoshoot so we left.... then i fetched my cousin to QBM b4 going back home to bath n change n then head back to QBM to meet up viv my cousin..... then had dinner n then sent them back to my uncle's hse........

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9th of Mac 2009

today i slept like a pig viv intervals in between...... i was so so so tired........

24th of February 2009 - sad sad day

my bloved aunt passed away during lunch today.... n i did not hv a chance to pay her a visit during her 3 mths stay at IJN..... she had been hospitalised since xmas eve n today's demise is oredi on the cards esp when she is oredi giving up hope on life.... her doc said tat its oni a matter of time n it was jz last weekend tat he said tat n today........ she cld hv done much better than tis n wld hv recovered if oni she had the initiative to go on tis life but she chose otherwise..... hearing tat she does not wan to move ard when she is in the hospital is really sad..... she was like a kid then...... until she bcame all stiff n had bedsores.... when my mum visited her last weekend, my mum said tat she cld not even recognise any1 of my uncles n my mum oredi n she cld not tok n eat at all........ seeing her like tat, it wld oni b wise to let her go instead cos she is suffering...... mayb its the best way n medicine for her.... at least she is not in pain n no longer suffering now tat she had oredi left her body...... but its really sad... very sad.....

for the whole day, her healthy face was lingering on my mind n i can still c her happy smile smiling back at me...... i m wondering wat's gonna happen to my cousins after tis..... will they still stay together? will my cousin bro leave home for his dreams? will my cousins still b in touch viv all of us? i hope my aunt n uncle will blessed their children fr up above...... help them to b stronger n to stay together..... jz moments after i received news of my aunt's demise, my cousin bro smsed me n asked me "how la.... my chew gone oredi" my heart went out to him.... but i felt tat my cousin sis wld b worst..... i did not msg my cousin sis cos i din noe wat to say to her.... i really felt sad for her but....... plus i m oso feeling sad on my own part n regretted not going to visit her when i had the chance to......

suddenly felt tat the days r flying fast n felt tat ppl r getting older sooner..... my aunt, aged 57 tis yr is aging pretty fast the past 1 yr viv heart attack but was too weak for a by-pass surgery..... i suddenly felt so scared..... scared wat will happen when age catches up viv my parents..... i really can bear to apart fr them..... so dear God, please bless my parents n uncles n aunties viv good health.......

23rd fo February 2009

came across an interesting email a few days back but oni had time to type it here..... actually after reading tis, i felt tat its very very true! let me share viv u....

Why ladies today are still single?

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, hane NO MONEY.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nioce men with money thinks we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW WHO THE UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes and it's our jod to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with"

16th of February 2009

well.... 1st time ever since i had moved to my new hse tat i overslept my alarm....... shd say i did not even put alarm..... last nite b4 i tune in to sleep, i kept thinking if i had oredi set my alarm n sum part of me wanted to check 1st b4 going to sleep but bcos i was too tired, i decided against it...... n tats how i woke up at 8.10am!!!! i rushed like h**l jz so tat i wld not b so late for work..... i reached office by 9 though..... lucky me....... i guess the main reason is tat today not much cars as most factory are shut down due to the slow market.....

reached office n tot today will not b so bz as the market is slow but mana tau, my 'dear' partner is on EL which left me stranded viv so many customers viv their stuffs..... 1 customer but numerous requests..... do til i so pik chik tat i 'DND' my phone so tat nobody can pass calls to me..... n x-partner who sat opposite viv nth to do did not even help..... sampai customer oso kenot tahan n ask me y she like tat wan..... wat can i do? i hv no say to ask to come help me rite? infact during tat situation, if she had more initiative, she wld hv came to help vivout me asking her la, rite? if i ask n she dun wan to, i lagi kek si la...... sumtimes, ppl shd learn to offer help vivout others asking for it...... if ppl were to voice up n ask, u will b very malu d lo...... ppl alwix say 'wat goes ard comes ard'...... not tat i m cursing or wat la but i blieve in tat lo...... so let it b la..... i ended up serving customers til almost 5pm oni the last customer left n i can finally start viv my balancing......... haih..... by the time finish everything oredi so tired d..... really no life lo.... oredi no life, sum more work like tat lagi no life.....

how come la my life can bcome like tis? when everyone ard is attached, i m all alone by myself..... haih..... sad.....

14th of February 2009

tis is the 2nd yr tat i m enduring tis day alone...... though sad but i do not hv a choice..... i can choose to forget tat its v-day but the hustle n bustle of tis very special occasion is everywhere n i kenot choose to not notice or c all of tis..... "Lonely i m Ms. Lonely, I have nobody, For my owwnnn, Im so Lonely, im Ms. Lonely I have nobody, for my owwnnn Im so Lonely".... haih........... all i hv are my dvds to accompany me til the end.......

many asked y i din get married n hv kids...... the biggest prob is not i dun wan to but i dun hv any1 to viv me to do tat...... if my parents r open minded enuff, i wld hv gone to get implants n hv kids..... afterall, tat was wat i had been thinking for my future since young...... but i noe in m'sia, ppl r not tat open minded n wun b able to accept single mother openly..... so i will jz hv to forget abt tis for now...... i m wondering if i m ever able to do tis..... by tat time, i m oredi too old for all my tots.......

11th of February 2009

today i got a funny story to tell..... last nite i had slight fever n the whole nite, i kept going to toilet as i kept drinking water to keep my throat wet...... n i dun remember which time iwoke up n fell asleep n i dreamt abt tis famous guy..... tis guy is most gal's dream guy..... n in the dream, he was viv me, nwt, ygl, ysl n his band oso...... n dun noe how he ended up in my house n asking me to accompany him to Mois pula n told me tat my frens r on the way to come fetch us there...... n i woke up smiling non-stop...... if he ever ask me in real person, i wld hv agreed lo...... real person leh...... wu chun leh..... 'lueh fan yeng la' hahaha!!!

n bcos of the dream tat i had, today i had a gr8 day instead minus one stupid lau ee who speaks hokkien but dun understand hokkien...... but bcos today is a happy day due to tat dream, i jz dun wan to tok bout it..... if not, spoil my mood nia.......

plus, i miss tis person so so so so so so so so ........ SO much..... its been 3 weeks tat he last came n i m sad tat he dun miss me..... if he miss me, he will sure come....... sad...... haih...... mayb he is bz viv his new branch..... if not mistaken, he will b opening a new branch in Sg Dua..... no wonder he called me the other day to ask about the Trade Bills facilities....... plus, i saw his company name signboard..... he mz hv either bought over the shoplot or the business...... it used to b my another customer's shop..... anyway, the next time, if i ever successfully c him, i will ask him la......

09th of February 2009

so boring today...... its a replacement holiday today n i m at home doing nth but watch drama series n blogging..... haih...... tis is my life... my boring life...... not much frens tats y..... v-day is around the corner n my plans? well.... i dun hv a bf n not even a spare tyre so i will b at home, watching drama again..... tats wat i had been doing since tat dreadful incident....... infact along the way, i had came to finally c thru frens around me n my life...... who r those who treats me well n who r those tat treats me good for a reason..... sad to noe tat frens r like tat esp when frens to me r like part of my life n i treat them like a close fren but to them i m jz a social companion..... but tats life isn't it? not everything is fair....... not for me esp..... so i'll jz hv to live life jz like tat...... alone til the end.......

03rd of February 2009

1st n foremost, i miss him so so so much!!!! it's been almost 2 weeks since i last saw him...... everynite b4 sleep, i will definately think of him.... will he come tomolo? will he still remember when was the last time we met? will he come n tok to me? haih...... til today, he did not come yet..... though we did msg each other last wed..... haih......

anyway..... finally CNY came n went like tat.... n i leh.... got over it like its not CNY at all...... dun noe y tis yr so no mood for CNY..... haih.... infact, i m still wondering how the days went by so fast.... 2008 ended so fast n cny came so early n now wondering if the coming days will come n go as fast as those tat oredi past......

oso, dun noe y ever since 3 days b4 CNY, the past came back to my memory..... infact jz a moment ago oso it came to me..... 2 yrs oredi n the scar is still there..... it will alwix b there to remind me of how foolish i had been then..... n led me to b less confident in myself..... but time will heal all.... its really jz a matter of time...... but how long, i m not sure.....

for the past few days i had been listening to 1 particular song n felt tat the chorus of the song is very meaningful..... 'Ni bu hui ai, Wo de ai, Wo ming bai, Ni de zui ai, na yi kuai, na tian wo cai cun zai, Wo bu hui ai, ni de ai, shou shang hai, suo yi ling yuan an jing de deng dai' mean u dun noe how to love, but i love u, i will understand, ur love, tat day i m in ur heart, i dun noe how to love, but u love me, u will hurt, so the best is to silently wait.....'

28th January 2009

there she goes.... there she goes again....... sounds familiar viv the song? well, early in the morning when i my phone rang, waking me up fr a nice sleep, my abm was on the other hand asking me where is the deceased account's documents tat i m supposed to pass to him. i told him tat i had reminded my partner to pass to him last fri n he said my partner dun even noe!!!!!!! WTF!!!!! early in the morning wan to make me scold her esp during times like tis!!!!!!! i sum more reminded her tat to pass to him early in the morning n mz remember as it is very important!!!! n she had the cheek to tell my abm tat she dun noe n tat i did not pass her anything!!!!! WALAUEH!!!!!!!! i bet she dun even remember tat i told her there's another opening form in my drawer for the PIBG of SMJK Phor Tay n she will b calling me when they come or she tell them to come next week when i m around...... i hv been keeping tis word to myself since the day she was promoted but now i jz wan to say tat they had given me a U.S.E.LE.S.S. partner.... watever tat i had predi taught her, she had the cheeks to say tat i did not teach her at all..... n i really wan to noe wat happen to all the notes tat she had written when i taught her........

15th of January 2009 - a happy day

well.... today started off quite dull for me as i had a lot of follow up cases to handle viv n sum more hv to deal viv tat SM ms ch'ng but it was not so bad til i practically lost my mood la.... the best part came in the evening..... by the time the bank closed for the day, i checked my phone as i heard a msg came in n to my surprised, he smsed me asking me if the new notes r up for changing.... i replied yes n asked if he wld need me to reserve for him... he replied yes n gave the denominations tat he needed.... so i guess he will coming either tomolo or next week to collect d lo.... then din even bother to ask more d cos i hv other things to follow up..... (my new ABM accidentally gave the customer our copy of form while issuing pin no for atm card which led to me search high n low for tat particular form)..... during the day, NHL was asking around if any1 wans to join her for dinner at Azuma, the new japanese restaurant in QBM n YGL n i agreed to follow... so immediately after work, YGL, ivy n i went to QBM1st to shop around while waiting for NHL n FSS to come...... while driving to the parking, using the HSBC way up to the multi-level car park, i saw him at the ticketing counter in his CRV going out.... at 1st i was shocked to c him n ivy n YGL was non-stop teasing tat like tat oso can meet each other..... i tot he did not c me but when he past the counter, immediately he saw me but cos we r both on opposite direction viv cars bhind us, we did not stop....... i jz buat tak tau n continued driving up the carpark lo...... mana tau, as i started to drive up my phone rang n ivy n YGL was guessing tat its him so they were more than eager to get the phone for me.... when they took out the phone, they saw who it was n past the phone back to me for me to answer.... its him!!! here's the conversation:-

LKH : i m sure its u back there at the ticketing counter in the red car is it?
Me : yep... where r u heading to? so early finish work oredi ar?
LKH : (jokingly) ya lo... hahaha!!! no la... going to ur place to bank $$$ lo.... where r u going to?
Me : my colls n i going to try out the newly opened japanese restaurant, Azuma lo.... wanna join?u can alwix patah balik to join me wan.....
LKH : eh... since when QBM got new japanese restaurant ar? how come i dun noe wan?
Me : got la.... its next to Harvey Norman.... aiyo.... u got a shop there wan u noe..... lately i seldom go shopping wan la.... how come u dun noe wan ar?
LKH : haha!!!! like tat i will go check it out d.... go jln jln abit...... i really dun noe le.... haha!!! who r u viv?
Me : my colls lo.... ivy n YGL lo....
LKH : eh... u fetch them hor? how come i dun c them wan?
Me : how i noe ar.... ivy was sitting next to me n YGL at the back lo...... u din c them? funny....
LKH : haha!!! old man d ma blind lo.... 3 of u oni?
Me : nope.... 2 other colls coming later..... meeting them at Azuma lo.... u wanna join bo?
LKH : err..... guess not..... dun noe ur colls well wan le..... next time le......
Me : ooo.... ok lo...... eh, u driving dun tok so long d.... drive carefully ar..... later kena tangkap not gd d esp during tis time at the start of the yr...... tok later la....
LKH : ok la..... u oso drive carefully ar..... when driving home......
Me : ok.... bye bye...
LKH : kk... bye bye.....

walaueh..... i really never tot tat he wld call me lo..... cos i did not think of it even though ivy n YGL did asked me to do so.... never felt tat i shd do tat lo..... mana tau he called..... surprised me...... but after he called, i felt so happy today..... haih..... dun noe y lo..... til noe i m still smiling to myself..... really mad d.... i felt myself getting madder each day.... haha!!!! esp when he does sth tat i never tot he wld do..... too bad he is blonged to..... but even if he is not, i dun think i will buld enuff courage to go after him lo.... i m more of the wait-til-he-does-sth type wan lo.... if it was 15 yrs ago, i wld hv gone after him d lo.... but now, i wldnt dare to..... cld tis b one of the effect of the lesson learnt a yr plus ago? mayb..... but no matter how, alwix look to the brighter side of things...... the grass is alwix greener on the other side of the fence..... plus esp viv me whom hv oredi climbed past the fence n starting to walk on the greener grass.... looking forward to a better yr in 2009..... hopefully by end of the yr, i can say tat i had an excellent yr in 2009 be it relationship wise or health wise or work wise or on the general wise...... lets pray hard tat we will live the challenges ahead......

06th of January 2009

today is a happy day for me.... never tot tat he wld notice me at all.... the last time i saw him was b4 xmas.... n today he came when i was on the phone viv lee discussing bout our leave n CNY n his bus ticket..... he came rite away after taking his queue no n sat in front of me n said 'long time no c'.... i was shocked to c him n replied 'i tot u never realise tat... how long was it since i last saw u?'.... he replied ' 2 weeks oredi lo..' wahlaueh!!! never tot he wld even notice tat.... then he asked me how had the past 2 weeks been for me n i told him everything is as usual... n when he is abt to start tokking to me, suddenly many customers sprang put from nowhere n stood around my table n he was like so 'ngau' like tat looking at them n then said to me 'guess like today no chance to tok to u d since so many ppl ard here..... c when free we had lunch or dinner together la then oni tok la...' haih............. hv to d la since the customers who sprang out of nowhere was now staring at me like wan to eat me like tat..... when he came, there was nobody in the bank but when he sat down to start tokking to me, they come out fr nowhere..... kek si wa nia..... no private time wan..... haih....... it got me thinking if he brings customers along viv him everytime he comes cos everytime oso like tat..... c la next time he wan to bring customer sum more bo..... he bring means no time to tok to me d.... haha!!!!! joking nia la..... afterall, he n i can alwix had lunch or dinner together wan if we wan to....... like tat ma got private time d lo...... hehe!!!! guess tat wun happen kua..... lunch mayb, dinner i dun think so unless its Old Town n when he is there lo..... hahaha!!!!

jz like tat lo.... bcos of tis, i felt happy today...... whole day oso mood very good...... his power is jz so gd.... hahaha!!!! say til like tat, if he reads tis, he sure 'buay khiau' wan...... wakakakakakaka!!!!!! oh ya! bcos tat day i went to watch S.H.E. n sat bhind CM, today chris, ivy's sis n me was caught in the background of a picture in the newspaper......

4th of January 2009

hehe!!!! i m so happy today..... y? cos i jz came back fr watching my idols at autocity..... S.H.E. is in town n i m so happy to b able to watch them fr such a nice view.... i got the V.I.P. ticket n i sat on the 3rd row fr the stage.... plus, our CM was there viv his family as well to watch them.... bonus is, they got the chance to take pic viv S.H.E. backstage!!!! kek si wa nia..... if oni i was one of them.... haih...... still very lucky n happy d...... get to watch my Ella..... she is jz so so so cute...... tis is the best bday present i had.... Ella up close n personal..... they even sang bday song in BM.... my blated present fr S.H.E..... so so so happy....