25th February 2012

DAMN PISSED OFF NOW!!!! 1st day of driving to the market, after so long, ends up me being so damn pisssed off!!!! WTH!!!! i kept making rounds after rounds at the lip sin old market, but everytime oso other ppl will get a space but not me!!!! n wen i hv a chance of getting 1, that bloddy brainless aunty, knowing tat i m waiting for her n other drivers r waiting in the line n making a jam, SHE, THE BLOODY CELAKA C***I BRAINLESS AUNTY WAS GOING IN N OUT OF CAR CLEANING HER CAR FRONT!!!!!! EXCUSE ME!!!! EVERY1 IS WAITING IN LINE U NOE!!! N I M BEING HORNED!!!! wait oso wrong, dun wait, i dun noe wen oni get space d!!! BLOODY HELL!!!! n the "fren" above oso playing viv me..... really kanasai..... n worst of all, my mum pula, knowing tat i din get a space, was wasting time walking around buying other food then oni wan to order her own food WEN I REACH TO FETCH HER!!!!!!! at 1st, there was no cars bhind. but eventually 1 damn car turned out, n horned me!!!! i m oredi damn pissed cos i v oredi turned so many rounds, i m oso fed up liao la..... can't my mum jz get everything done n ready so tat i dun hv to turn a DAMN round? damn pissed now..... now i hv done 1 bad merit jz bcos i left my anger on my mum.... DAMN CELAKA!!!!! F**K!!!!

02nd February 2012

well.... actually, i wan to jz share a funny dream tat i hv.... i hv not dreamt about tis fren for quite sumtime oredi n suddenly, i did last nite.... the dream goes....

peng n i was at a club, u noe, partying n drinking abit.... midway thru, i wanted to go to the toilet n i told peng.... she pula in turn told me tat she is feeling very hot.... so she followed me to the toilet which is so big n spacious and at the end of the toilet, there's a big pail of water.... the moment peng saw the pail, she walked to it, picked it up n pour on herself!!!! i was so shocked n speechless but i still went to toilet as i was in hurry to pee.... when i got out of the toilet, peng was still at the basin drying herself up... so i told her i m going out as the toilet is getting crowded....

the moment i got out of the toilet, wee lee came to me in a hurry tat i hv not even register his presence, and pulled me to him n hugged me so tightly tat i was almost out of breath... i was so surprised by his actions n told him to let me go but he held on to me n hugged me all the way around the club....

finally time has come for us to go home n peng told me she is following other frens home since wee lee is viv me..... n she jz left like tat.... here i was stuck in wee lee's embrace n could oni follow him.... so we went to get our car to go home.... on the way, he kept telling me tat he's gonna kiss me tonite n it's gonna b the 1st time ever kissing me... though in the dream, i feel funny cos i noe he'll never say tat to me in reality.... hahahaha!!!! anyway, we got to the carpark n to my car... i took out my car keys n he snatched it fr me n tried to unlock my car by alarm.... but i guess he mz hv pressed the lock n my car was making a whole lot of noise n i was feeling tat the noise sounds familiar, like my alarm clock.... N I WOKE UP LAUGHING MYSELF ALL THE WAY TO THE BATHROOM......

until now, everytime i remembered the alarm, i cant help laughing.... the last time i had tis kind of funny dream was quite sumtime ago.... tat 1 was about me receiving a birthday card viv a music box... but wen i opened the card, instead of playing Happy Birthday song, it sounded like my alarm n i woke up laughing as well....

haih.... crazy me..... anyway, bout the person tat i dreamt abt doing things tat will never ever happen, i was really surprised... but anyway, its jz a dream.... dreams r jz dreams.... funny dreams r for rememberance......

26th December 2011

Since last blog, so much happened... N I was damn bz until recently.... My partner's pregnancy now is the main the concern of my abm so no matter wat Audrey n I say, he will b at her side, pregnant or not.... So we chose to keep silent n let thing unfold by itself n c wat he will do.... N I can ONI hope then Tat watever I predicted to happen in the coming months, will happen n then padan muka the management....

Well, early dec, I went to Pantai for a free abdominal check up, thanks to Annie Ong for putting name.... N during the check, found out Tat I might hv cyst n was advised to do further scan to cfm if it's cyst... N my mum pula WANs me to go to GMC instead... So, due to my partner being on leave, I tot i shall wait til she came back then ONI I will go GMC... Manatau, tis idiot called n say Tat her daughter admit hospital n wld like to extend leave since hospitalization is compassionate leave for her but luckily, mr yu insist Tat she comes back to work so Tat I can go for further check.... N so I went to GMC on 7th dec but jz normal scan n oredi the dr said it's a cyst n arranged for me to go back the next day for MRI scan, which I did, ONI to cfm wat the dr said.... N it's on both sides of my ovaries.... Dr said I hv no other option than open operation.... Prior to the MRI scan, mr yu oredi told me Tat if I need to operate, to do it in jan wen they hv enuff staff.... My partner pula told me ' I hope the scan shows nth wrong for u....' ( which I tot, how totful she is hoping I m ok) but the next sentence let me c thru her completely.... She said ' cos if not, u will need to do operation n my son will go sunat tis sat n next week I m on leave n can't afford to cancel as no 1 to care for my son'

Fine! So wen dr say I hv to operate, I purposely arranged for it on 20th so Tat she can complete her 1 week leave as well as the 1 day replacement due to compassionate leave.... But, tis inconsiderate lady (it's abt time I call her Tat cos she is like Tat) called on mon evening to say Tat she is bleeding n can't come back to work... Worst of all, she waited til every1 finishes work ONI she called!!!! N sum more tell me Tat she gotta inform me b4 telling mr yu!!! Who m I la... Jz merely a small potato customer service.... So after speaking to her, I passed her call to mr yu n after Tat, mr yu hang up the phone not long after Tat n sighed n said 'wa tau Tua Liao!!!!' he turned to me but I jz shrugged my shoulders n buat tak tau.... Anyway, it's no longer my business since no matter wat oso I wun postpone!!! I hv done my best as an employee n it's my health we r talking!!! Die oso mz choose date ka??? Y dun they hv gd stuff Tat time, think of me 1st leh???? Damn kanasai!!!!

After awhile, mr yu called for an emergency meeting viv the officers to arrange for the coming weeks wen Tat idiot is not at work.... Audrey will b a full time CSR n her daily jobs r to b equally divided by the rest of the officers n mr yu din wan to point at an officer to do the job n I tell u la, in the end, no one will do the job n Audrey will still hv to complete it herself ( which was jz as I predicted) n Audrey is damn pissed viv her... I think now the officers r quite pissed viv her n told Audrey Tat wat we previously told mr yu is happening now n then, he said we r selfish n not understanding cos we hv never been pregnant b4.... But now, everything I predicted n said hv surfaced 1 by 1 n he noes it... Jz Tat can't say much cos he noes he was wrong to say Tat previously....

N fr wat I heard of Audrey saying Tat mr yu is now oso complaining Tat the idiot is very ma huan n inconsiderate but Audrey jz replied, told u so.... Even to Audrey oso, he din dare to say much d cos he noes Tat tis idiot is causing every1 around a lot of problems..... I can ONI hope Tat it will bring out his senses n let him do sth bOut it....

N now back to me.... I went for the op not knowing how to b scared but eventually suffered the 1st few days like hell.... Immediately after the op, they woke me up n I was in so much pain Tat the moment I can move my limbs, I was ranting like hell feeling like I Wanna kick n punch the dr.... It was really damn painful Tat no words can describe the pain then.... Luckily 1 gd hearted OT dr got me a jab but the medicine was slow in easing the pain... He tried to get me a 2nd jab but kenot cos the 1st jab is not even 15mins yet.... But after getting back to the ward, it got better but still in pain.... Now, it's jz getting much better d.....

Hmmm.... Xmas kenot celebrate.... I guess bday oso lo... So sad.... I can ONI hope to recover soon... Cny is jz a mth away n I wan to b able to enjoy my cny.....

16th August 2011

I m so surprised by how sum ppl can make it look like I m at fault jz bcos she is pregnant.... FOR GOD DAMN SAKE!!!! I did not even say her anything.... Funny.... N found out a few info bout her too... Tonite update blog...

15th August 2011

Today so beh tong... She sum more dare to give me face to c.... From the moment I reach office, she did not even other to tok to me or even ask if any update on our circulars.... She makes it as though I m at fault!!!! Really kanasai... I did not even comment bout her condition n she dare to give me face!!?? Now I wan to scold her.... Damn her lo!!!! Fine viv it... I will b as selfish as I can b.... N I noe I hv been disturbing ppl around me viv tis case... I shall shut my mouth now n do wat I shd can d.... God noes.... I hope so....

14th of August 2011

Zyezye Dureyna :
baru ku tahu rupa-rupanya masih ada manusia yg memang x boleh berubah perangai buruknya..... kalu dulu aku boleh lagi brsabar atas ajaran kedua org tua n agama ku menyuruh bersabar itu separuh dari iman...tapi skarang.....sabar itu ada batasnya........aku akan kuatkan diriku supaya tidak dpijak lagi oleh org yg x brtemadun n tdak berperikemanusian.....ingatlah kita sbagai manusia bukannya slalu berada d atas kadang2 d bawah jgak.....


Siti Zamry :
Relax kak zie..sabar2..:)

Zyezye Dureyna :
nasib baik ni bulan puasa siti..kau x ntahla.....

Salina Abd Salim :
dugaan bulan puasa...kak zyezye......

Zyezye Dureyna :
mungkin la ina...bulan puasa ni kita kena bawa2 bersabar..inilah dugaan tuhan untuk org yg disayanginya....

Siti Zamry :
Ha'ah kak zie..nsb baik bln puasa.. 2day, kak zie x keja ker?

Zyezye Dureyna :
cuti sakit ti.....h hu hu..itu pun ada yg faham2 lagi...depa ingat kita wat2 sakit kot....tu yg x tahan tu

Siti Zamry :
Ooo..normal lah tue kak zie.. Take care..mg cpt2 sihat..:)

Zyezye Dureyna :
tq ti...:d

Kekanda Sg Nibong :
sabar banyak2 ok

Bgr Shoppe :
Sabar 3x saja ok...

Junaidah Mohamed :
org2 cam ni wat dek je......xmenjaminkan masa depan kita!!!!! mmg pendengki yg teramat2....apa depa dpt ntah dgn dengki mendengki ni kan!!!!! xfaham le manusia2 cam ni!!!!!! relax n cool babe!!!!!!!! org yg teraniaya akan terbela nasibnya....sabar!!!!!!

Zyezye Dureyna :
tq semua...

Azwal Azmi :
Huh..... banyak besabar jgn jadi macam saya sesal.......macam2...

Zyezye Dureyna :
Azwal Azmi ye ka....mcm mana boleh sesal plak ni

Azwal Azmi :
Ya la terlampau ikut kata hati hancur semua termasuk kerjaya :@

Zyezye Dureyna :
ya ka..keciannya

Zaliza Aziz :
ya betol zie....mentang2 lah la ni depa dok sihat sentiasa, x dak masalah keluarga, masalah duit ringgit, kawan semua dok pulun ikot depa konon2 depa la baguih,,,,,depa x tau, 'masa' depa x mai lagi....ALLAH maha adil.....


tis is wat my 'dear partner posted as well as all the comments made by her frens..... well, i m not very sure who tis post was meant for but fr the way it look, sounds like it was meant for me.....

"aku akan kuatkan diriku supaya tidak dpijak lagi oleh org yg x brtemadun n tdak berperikemanusian" makes me wonder, if its meant for me then, who is civilised and humane enuff for me? yes, she is pregnant, but being pregnant is not everything..... y does ppl alwix REQUIRE me to go n understand other's situation n not vice versa? wen things happened, who wld ever tot of my situation other than asking me to go n settle for them? if i m being selfish, then wat is she?

refering to her fren, zaliza aziz's last comment, wat is she trying to mean? those who "dok sihat sentiasa, x dak masalah keluarga, masalah duit ringgit' r NOT HUMAN n ppl like them r human la is it? swt....

n she was saying tat 'sabar ada juga batasnya'... well how dare she say tat wen she is not the 1 suffering? tis is double swt.....

all in all, i can oni say tat tis got me really S.P.E.E.C.H.L.E.S.S. looks like i m being uncivilised n inhumane to her situation.... n who in tis big wide world will b civilised n humane to me leh? the Lord above? well, if its the Lord above, then i hv not feel anything yet..... n so, i hv decided tat 'we cannot change the wind; but we can adjust the sail'... i will adjust my sail fr last monday onwards after wat my 'dear ABM' named me..... everytime, i hv to think others wen they never ever think of me.... tis time, i will b live up to wat i was named after n think for myself.... in 1 of Tony Lau's movie, he alwix say 'ngor wai yan yan, yan yan wai ngor' n tats wat i was then.... now, as much as my 1 pair of hand, 1 pair of legs, 1 pair of eyes, 1 brain n 1 strength can do, i will do... other than tat, i cant help much.... i mz start to think for myself, my own good.... S.E.L.F.I.S.H.? I will b fr now....

8h of August 2011

today is a disappointing day for me.... as suay as i can b, i cant do much bout her pregnancy.. but i can oni hope for a better relief partner to help ease burden.... wen i received the news tat she is being hospitalised, i had oredi 90% xpected it will happen.... its has alwix been like tis for her past 3 pregnancy period n i hv nth to say cos it may happen to me too wen i m pregnant in future (tats if i ever get married...

u c, last thurs, i received her sms stating 'dr said i kenot carry heavy stuff, kenot work too much. tomolo (fri) i mc. dr said the condition of the baby is not stable'. so ur 1st tot will be, our job as a CSR is alwix heavy n A LOT!!!! so in order for her not to suffer as well as myself n audrey not to suffer during her pregnancy til her maternity (which will b 1yr later), audrey suggested to transfer her to a less job dept so tat she can relax as she works n i can get a full time partner to ease my burden.... so, tis morning n finally, i suggested to my ABM about tis n guess wat's his reaction was..... his expression was like shocking n eyes almost bulging out n in a loud voice said "Lu, u dun understand wat its like to b pregnant n facing tis kind of problems. U kenot jz think of urself!"

there n then, i felt like he jz light up the volcano in me n after tat i cant even ctrl myself.... i voiced to him tat i m not being mou lei chui lau jz bcos she is pregnant but i m oso thinking for her good as well as mine n for others whose gonna b affected wen she is not around.... is he trying to mean tat i m not pregnant b4 n so i dun understand her current situation n feelings? then do i hv to get myself pregnant in order to understand her situation? then who will understand my situation???!!!!!

M I BEING SELFISH???!!!! i'll tell u wat its like to b SELFISH!!!! well, last mth she issued A's chq book to B n tis is oredi the 3RD TIME!!!!! n A was very angry n was making a scene at our table n threaten to make a police report n make tis BIG.... he said tat B forged his signature wen B did not.... n here we are trying to find out the truth tat A did sign on the papers n so happened my ATM balancing was not balance. so i asked her to watch the CCTV to find out the truth. instead, she wen to my mgr's room n spoke to my mgr abt tis case but not watching the CCTV. wen she came down n i asked if she saw anything, she said tat she actually went up to speak to my mgr..... i was so DAMN ANGRY bcos i hv to settle my outages in trial balance n jz a small thing (watching cctv) oso she cant do.... wen audrey asked n i told her wat zz replied me, audrey asked me to stop watever i was doing n go upstairs n watch the cctv!!! damn, its not my fault!!! y mz i do tat? my 'dear ABM' said T.E.A.M.W.O.R.K!!!!! Fine!!! i went up to watch cctv n abt 1/2hr later, she intercom me at my mgr's room n said "Lu, i nak balik dah. nak jaga anak n rest. U slowly tengok ya"... WTF!!! TIS IS WAT IS CALL SELFISH OK... its her fault!!!! n i hv to settle for her!!!! WTF!!! n i had to stare at the damn cctv until 10pm!!!!! wat is fair to me? did my 'dear ABM' appreciate wat i did? i sacrificed my time n energy to watch tat damn CCTV for a fault tats not mine!!!!! it was FRIDAY n i cld hv gone home earlier n rest n do my stuff or go out n get to noe more guys.... instead i sat in the room n stare at tat damn cctv n in the end, i was called SELFISH jz bcos i suggested to transfer her to a less job dept for her good,my good n every1's good!!!!!

DAMN.... I M SO DAMN DISAPPOINTED..... N SPEECHLESS TOO..... all i can say is i m disappointed, speechless, unhappy, depressed n suicidal... i cant even stop myself fr hurting my own body.... i cant ctrl the tears to fall wen i m so angry....i cant ctrl my temper fr starting off..... n i cant even appreciate myself...... i really cant imagine wat will happen to me if i go on like tat.... mayb i will b a siao lang n go tg rambutan? or mayb i will get depression n hv to take medication? or mayb i will suffer 'yan kak fan lit' for wanting to 'siam' all tis unfair events coming my way? i really dun noe....