28th September 2009

haiz..... been xtremely bz lately viv so many things to do yet so little time...... very tired of working life.... really cant wait for my macau trip...... tired til writing title oso i type November..... u c la... i really pening d.... earlier tis mth, went to cameron for a 2D1N viv colls..... the air there is jz so refreshing.... pg air really kenot compare lo..... pg air is so polluted, even in office oso..... lately a lot of disagreements in the office fr all directions n i m getting really tired..... plus, my class started oredi n i felt very tired..... 2nd class oredi n i fell asleep in the class!!! haih...... oso, tis mth work oso very bz cos my partner on mc for 3 weeks as she was admitted to hospital for her sinus n after tat was raya oredi..... today she is finally back n i can finally start to clear up my mountain high backlog..... last fri while working alone, my backache suddenly came n it attacked so suddenly tat i was rooted when it attacked..... n not oni once but many times til i kenot tahan n started limping around the office..... my x-manager saw me in so much pain n he advised me to go swimming as it will help my backache...... hopefully i can finish all my backlog n start going for my swimming n massage n badminton...... really in need to excercise lo...... lately been getting fatter..... haih.......

lately, i've been stung by the memory of the past n even dreamt of them..... a past which was supposed to b buried n forgotten but as the memory came, those sad feelings came flooding back.... recently, i found out tat he no longer works in pg island.... he is now in juru n very successful in his job.... customers luvs him for his knowledge in his profession..... its a gd thing cos tat was wat he had wanted.... recognition...... he once told me tat he worked so hard then at the previous company n attended every training given by the company n in the process, kinda 'ignored' me during tat time is for tis recognition n for our future...... though he finally did it for his career, he lost out in relationship viv all those lies n hurt he did to me...... nevertheless, he had nth to lose oso cos he had another viv him too..... he mz b sharing his joy viv her.....

anyway, i dun hv any regret for breaking up..... at least, i put a stop to all those hurt n lies n moved on..... n cld b bcos of him, now i prefer to stay as i m now...... whenever i tot of giving myself a chance in luv, i will b bugged down by questions if he is being true to me, if he is cheating on me, if he really luvs me for who i m.... tis tots bugged me so much tat i felt so insecure n in the end, i choose to stay single..... so my status now shd read as being single but not up in the market....... insecurity really kills me.... so, sorry if i ever hurt any1 viv tis decision..... frens r being quite supportive, listening to me when i needed them....... thank u so much........ oni time will erase all tis fr me...... pls bear viv me.......