24th of February 2009 - sad sad day

my bloved aunt passed away during lunch today.... n i did not hv a chance to pay her a visit during her 3 mths stay at IJN..... she had been hospitalised since xmas eve n today's demise is oredi on the cards esp when she is oredi giving up hope on life.... her doc said tat its oni a matter of time n it was jz last weekend tat he said tat n today........ she cld hv done much better than tis n wld hv recovered if oni she had the initiative to go on tis life but she chose otherwise..... hearing tat she does not wan to move ard when she is in the hospital is really sad..... she was like a kid then...... until she bcame all stiff n had bedsores.... when my mum visited her last weekend, my mum said tat she cld not even recognise any1 of my uncles n my mum oredi n she cld not tok n eat at all........ seeing her like tat, it wld oni b wise to let her go instead cos she is suffering...... mayb its the best way n medicine for her.... at least she is not in pain n no longer suffering now tat she had oredi left her body...... but its really sad... very sad.....

for the whole day, her healthy face was lingering on my mind n i can still c her happy smile smiling back at me...... i m wondering wat's gonna happen to my cousins after tis..... will they still stay together? will my cousin bro leave home for his dreams? will my cousins still b in touch viv all of us? i hope my aunt n uncle will blessed their children fr up above...... help them to b stronger n to stay together..... jz moments after i received news of my aunt's demise, my cousin bro smsed me n asked me "how la.... my chew gone oredi" my heart went out to him.... but i felt tat my cousin sis wld b worst..... i did not msg my cousin sis cos i din noe wat to say to her.... i really felt sad for her but....... plus i m oso feeling sad on my own part n regretted not going to visit her when i had the chance to......

suddenly felt tat the days r flying fast n felt tat ppl r getting older sooner..... my aunt, aged 57 tis yr is aging pretty fast the past 1 yr viv heart attack but was too weak for a by-pass surgery..... i suddenly felt so scared..... scared wat will happen when age catches up viv my parents..... i really can bear to apart fr them..... so dear God, please bless my parents n uncles n aunties viv good health.......