23rd of June 2009

haih...... yesterday i was feeling very undecided n its all bcos of wat my ABM told me..... he told me abt a new post in the branch n asked me to apply for it...... Deposit Sales Officer..... selling deposit products..... but the moment i heard sales, its plastered all over my head n i was put off by tat dreadful word....... in terms of knowledge, i noe i m capable of taking up the post but sales????? if i wan to do sales, earlier on i wld hv applied for BSE d la...... prob is i hv never been interested in sales.... sales is never my rice bowl....... i prefer paper work than sales....... i was so so so undecided tat i wan to go crazy d...... whole day i was calling frens n colls for opinions.... n wat i can summarised is its a mixture of opinions...... sum say its a gd thing...... most say i shd think over very carefully n seriously......... at one point of time, i really tot i can do it n built enuff confident to take up the offer..... but reached home n my parents says no...... they checked viv my aunt n she oso feel tat its not a gd thing..... sales is related to targets n if i cant meet the expectations, i m doomed!!!! fact is, its oso 1 of the points tat i m worried abt...... the other is networking........ haih.....

today went to office very sure wan to reject the offer d but when i tried telling my ABM, he still insist tat i take up the offer...... he said tat he is very very confident tat i will make it thru but fact is, i dun even hv the confident in myself...... i can feel tat he is trying to brainwash me to accept the offer...... now i m still bogged by tis n really cant think of a gd way to tell politely tat i really dun wan to accept....... when he insisted, i asked abt the consequences of not meeting the expectations n he cld not even give me any assurance..... he can oni say tat he will support me..... i cant afford to lose my job u noe n sales is definately not in my league.... like keing hua said, i rather b the 1st in the 2nd class than b the last in the 1st class........ haih........... fan lou................. i m oredi very very sleepy n tired n add 1 more fan lou to me......

now i really wan to go n sleep d..... watever it is, leave it to tomolo.... afterall, its no hurry...... not tat they were given any dateline..... i will try my best to get the message to my ABM...... wish me luck!!!

16th of June 2009

tis noon, there was a snatch theft in front of my office..... tis 2 malay guys on a motorcycle, snatched a chinese lady's bag n ran away but unfortunately, the lady screamed very very loudly n everybody who heard her ran after tat motorcycle..... u really cant imagine it.... within seconds, a pajero crashed the motorcycle to ground n there was a group of 20-30 ppl crowding around the motorcycle n beat up the 2...... helmets, wood, steel fr nearby rubbish bin cld b seen at the seen...... the crowd comprises of those who happen to b hving lunch nearby n heard n most of them r malays oso..... according to my boss, who oso went there to kaypo, those who beat up the 2 was heard saying tat its a disgrace to them, the malays...... n the 2 oso kena very teruk lo....... imagine 20-30 ppl crowding ard u to beat u up..... one person 1 time nia oso teruk lo..... but then was 1 person dun noe how many times lo..... when i walked near the window to c time, i saw the 1st person guy to hit viv a helmet, hit them many times lo...... sum more kick leh..... but then, padan muka oso wan la..... of all profession, y choose to b a snatch theft? u noe, how many of them led to the death of their victims? esp pregnant ladies? i can still recall 1 case tat happen in JB where tat bloody fool snatch thief snatched her bag n when she struggled viv them, they kicked her motorcycle n she fell...... n she is 8mths pregnant...... imagine the trauma her husband will go thru...... plus, my coll's aunt oso bcame a snatch thief victim rite in front of her hse..... n tat snatch thief kicked n beat her up...... sad to say tis is malaysian...... the economy is bad n most ppl r out of jobs but tis is not wat u shd choose to do....... haih.....

12th of June 2009

tis evening, received a msg fr a fren tat a schoolmate of mine had passed away due to heart problems...... really sad to noe tat..... she n i were once close frens during primary school n remembered tat she told me b4 regarding her situation..... then she lept on telling me tat she will leave 1 day n i of cos told tat it will not happen..... but tat was long time ago...... i guess she had lived her life to the fullest all tis while fearing tis day will come..... Siew Lee, we will miss u n may u rest in peace.........

11th of june 2009

wanna share a meangingful quote tat i read in my email.... brings back a lot of memories for me.....

"never break 4 things in ur life - trust, promise, relation n heart bcos when they break, they dun make noise but cause a lot of pain"

i hated ppl who breaks the 4..... in the past, he broke each of the 4 over time.... one by one he broke me into pieces..... he made promises but never keep them though i m so foolish to still blieve tat he will still keep his promises to me... n tats y i hurted so badly.... but now, its all buried 6ft underground...... no longer trust ppl, no longer blieve promises made by others...... all tis is to guard myself against the pain n hurt tat i dun wish to go thru again...... i've learnt to b selfish for myself...... selfish to protect myself.......

03rd of June 2009 - 2nd half

jz got back fr the rehearsal at EQ n luckily the day ended up nicely....... we were told to b there at 7 but i was a little late as i reached home at almost 6pm n hv to rest n bath n then travel there....... but when i reached there was no 1 there yet.... oni the kids n their parents n sum staff nia...... n we sat there until he(RD) came n everything starts to roll....... n he was very precise today going thru one by one n commenting 1 by 1....... so by the time its our turn to dance, it's oredi 11++pm!!!!! guess how sleepy i was considering tat we had sat there since 7pm n oni get to dance at 11pm!!!!! now as i m typing tis, my eyes r closing yet still on msn call viv a fren...... plus.... today dun noe wat wrong viv my dance partner, he danced wrong during our tango......... n he was non stop apologising to me....... u noe, today RD requested to record our rehearsal for the making of the AD 2009 to b presented to Tan Sri n i noe everybody is very kin cheong cos they dun wan to do any mistake during the recording...... luckily both of us r rite at the side where the camera cant c us..... haha!!!!! after the dance n when we went to the side, he was non stop apologising for the wrong step n then kept on laughing................. haih..................

oh ya..... jz now the usherettes came to try their clothes n guess wat....... their red dress to b worn on friday morning when welcoming Tan Sri at the hotel is damn sexy man!!!!! they were asked not to wear bra inside as its low back............... n u noe la..... ysl non stop complaining lo..... but there was 1 gal who wore it the best!!!! she is damn sui lo........

now my feet is hurting cos i was not used to wearing boots........... my toes hurts the worst......

03rd of June 2009 - A BLOODY IDIOT DAY FULL OF FRUSTRATION!!!!!!

as the headers says it, today is a bloody idiot day full of frustrations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I M DAMN FRUSTRATED N ANGRY N I REALLY CLD KILL!!!!! early in the morning, tat ms ch'ng come find fault viv abt yesterday's case n kept insisting tat its my mistake which got me so boiled up n frustrated viv anger tat i cld not even finish my breakfast...... then came my partner pula..... i told her to b sharp to reach office at 12.30pm fr lunch as i hv to travel to pulau tikus for a short course but tis idiot came back at almost 1, i m hv to rush to pualau tikus n summore take my lunch!!!! plus, 2 other coll fr other branch is following my transport.... after the course, as i was travelling back, she called to informed tat her maid ran away during lunch n tat she's gotto take 2 days of EL, tomolo n fri, to settle her stuff cos nobody to care for her children!!!! then wat abt me? i m going for rehearsal tomolo n fri as well n i hv requested to leave work early so tat i hv time to rest b4 the rehearsal n granted!!!!! now tis!!! then wat time oni i can go back if she is not working? who is going to finish up the things for me? FYI, I M NOT PAID OT FOR THE REHEARSAL U NOE..... N NOT GIVEN TIME OFF FOR THE LOST SLEEP WAN U NOE!!!!! I M OREDI VERY VERY TIRED DUE TO NOT ENUFF SLEEP TIS PAST FEW DAYS N SUM MORE WORRIED BOUT MY STUDIES!!!!! I KNEW TIS IS GOING TO COME TATS Y I OSO INSISTED TAT I DO NOT WAN TO PARTICIPATE IN THE STAFF PERFORMANCE AT THE 1ST PLACE..... SO NOW HOW? I HV TO ENDURE TIS ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F**K!!!!!

I ONI I CLD KILL, THE 1ST TO B DEAD IS MY DAMN PARTNER N THE 2ND IS MS CH'NG...... PLUS NEXT YR ONWARDS, NO MORE STAFF PERFORMANCES N THEME AWARDS N ALL TAT KIND OF THINGS OREDI...... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! DAMN TIS LIFE N TODAY!!!!! I BET TONITE IS NOT GOING TO B A GD NITE FOR ME AS WELL....... ALL STARTED VIV TAT F**KING MS CH'NG!!!!!!!!

2nd of june 2009

jz came back from the dance rehearsal at YMCA...... today our skirt is finally here n its...... not nice...... its so bulky n heavy.... n guess wat, our top is a corset..... haih..... i wan to pengsan d..... jz now sum more ask me to try the corset cos wanna take my measurement..... fact is, i cant even fit into tat corset....... haha!!!! how i wished i dun hv to dance mana tau, the trainer said tat i will wear a tube inside n the will pin the corset for me pula....... means tat no matter how oso kena pakai d lo..... haih............... plus, my partner commented tat my skirt is too 'phong' for him to stand bhind me closely which is the directive of the trainer n he laughed..... KNS!!!!! i oso felt so... the skirt very kembang lo cos they sew the nettings bneath..... and its not jz 1 nettings..... its a lot!!!! the skirt is 5kg in weight!!!!! can u imagine tat? its equivalent to a packet of rice...... n our dress is black in color..... though the nettings r colourful......

after the dance, i was down viv bad headache n i felt like hitting my head to the wall..... the headache is really driving me to the walls...... even as i m typing tis, my head is throbbing..... tonite mz rest early cos tomolo nite onwards my dance practice is at nite..... our full dress rehearsal is on thurs n fri on actual stage........ i blieve we will overcome watever tat comes our way within tis 3 days for the best performance on sat nite..... wish me well guys!!!! oh ya..... wish tat i n D***** will stirke sum spark!!!!! wakakaka..... jz joking..... afterall, i was kinda hoping tat a dream o mine will come true....... hehehe!!!!! cross fingers............. haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!