28th of April 2008 - overall a happy day

i knew he wld come today cos last fri he did not..... after lunch, i was looking forward to c him... n today he came when i dun hv customer so had the chance for him to drop by at my desk.... n spoke awhile..... when he submitted his chq book application i told him tat he mz rubber stamp for me n he told me "haih.... i alwix mix up wan..." then i said to him tat it's ok since i m here to remind him n smiled.... n reminded him tat chq book will b ready for collection on wed.... n he said "ok.... i will come by anyway.... oni tat i alwix c u so bz n wan to talk to u oso kenot" n i replied him "u say nia la.... say alwix come but i m sure u did not come by last fri ma" n he jz kept quiet... cos he noe tat i was right... n told me tat he will try to come on wed.... even if he dun come, he will come on fri wan la...... dun noe y everytime c him, my mood will b better..... no matter how frust oso i wld feel better after seeing him.... oni tat i cant seem to find a way to noe if he is attached..... i really wonder if he is.... n funny thing is, ever since i told him tat my lunch time is 11.30am, the next time he wld come after my lunch time....... plus.... everytime he come, he wld keep looking at my desk n if nobody, he wld come by, sit down n yak viv me...... he felt the same as well? oh ya!!!..... when he came today n while i was yakking viv him, i noticed tat he is looking at my ring le.... y ar? if he felt the same, y dun wan to take the 1st step???!!!! wat is keeping him back? commitment to another person?

24th-25th of April 2008 - unlucky, frustrating but of all, still happy....

24th of April 2008



i was quite bz due to overdue filings..... too much to file d..... even though oredi completed most of it, yet there's another tray of loose filings underneath my table..... anyway tat shd b filed by next wed.... asked my relief partner to handle the QMS for the morning half so tat i cld do filings n even though there's sum interference in between viv my regular customers, i m able to complete my scheduled filings.... thank god..... after lunch, i began serving customers while my relief went out for lunch.... around 1.30pm when my relief came back, due to not much customers, so i started to viv vkl's timetable tat she asked me to help her create... n suddenly, owy shouted my name very loudly which scared me n i took my head up thinking tat i mz been too obsesses viv the timetable tat i din hear her.... but she jz smiled at me..... then i turned to ygl n she shook her at head me viv the 'there-she-goes-again' look n suddenly i got her... immediately i took up my head n turned to the QMS machine n saw him.... out of sudden so happy lo.... but 1 aunty came to ask abt FD n sum other things n i noticed tat after he took his no, he made his way to my desk n saw tat i got customer, so he stood awhile but his no was called n he went off to the counter...... but he kept turning back to look at my desk.... n the aunty still not yet finish viv her questions... i noticed tat after he completed his transactions, he did not stop by my desk d, even though he did keep looking, n went off..... how i wish tat aunty is not at my table.... kek si wa nia.....



then after tat vkl called me to her desk to enquire bout the BC case... she wanted to noe the details of the happening cos tat customer filed a complaint to BNM n now HOE wanted an xplaination.... so i told her wat happened tat day... when the customer came tat day, she did not show any temper at all.... her son was underaged for ATM application so i had to get her IC for verification.... then i proceeded issuing ATM for them without taking BC from her.... when everything was completed n i walked them to the counter, she asked y i did not take the BC fr her when the other branches insist on it..... i xplained to her tat BC is an xtra documentation to identify the parents of the said child.... i did not take cos i noe tat she is his mom..... n she was very angry viv RLU's CSR cos when the csr told her to bring the BC, she was very rude... she wanted to file a complaint on the csr's behaviour... i gave her the complaint form for PBB customer service to write on... but dun noe wat she was thinking tat she filed another at BNM!!!!! tat day, i checked viv BPP dept n they confirmed tat our guidelines n e-manual is silent on the BC part n told me tat i was not wrong not to take the BC..... but bcos tis case was handled by BRD, i had to go thru the documents all over again... checked thru the system n found tat she had an 'on behalf' account viv her son n had oni jz closed the account a few days b4 to re-open another on her son's name on the SAME DAY!!!!! in the end, vkl xplained to BRD n i dun noe wat's the outcome la.... hope tat its nothing lo.....



overall, thursday is an ok day for me nia.... tat customer oso another 1.... oredi do for her d sum more wan to complaint.... wan to complaint bout the csr being rude sampai kena me..... WAT THE HECK MAN!!!!! wat a day..... liked the 1st part of the day but not the part after he left the branch........



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25th of April 2008



today, my relief partner is on mc.... so i m left alone viv damn lot of customers n things to do.... but luckily, i oredi finished most of filings.... today's customers r hell.... the day kicked off smoothly but after lunch, i had a hell day....



i had a family opening on'behalf' account for their youngest daughter a few mths old, then deciding to top up their FD as well.... n the husband asked if there's other alternatives for better returns n even enquired bout FCY FD... so i ma xplain to them lo.... mana tau the customer bhind went to counter n complain... N of all officers, he complain to tat idiot officer!!!! the idiot ma start to call my name n ask me to give her an opening form for her to help fill up lo... so i gave it to her thinking tat she wld help the customer to open the account lo... but she did not... instead, after she finished viv the filling the form, she came to my table while i was bz xplaining FCY FD n GIA to the couple and said "LL, xplain pdts no need to xplain so in detail wan... xplain enuff can oredi... u noe, bhind got a lot of customers waiting wan... 1 customer complain tat u serve tis couple very long.... kenot b so selfish wan..." i was caught by surprised by tat selfish word... how cld she say tat in front of my customers??!! my customer was quite angry lo... he asked "wat did she meant when she said 'no need to xplain so in detail wan'... if dun xplain in detail, how u do xpect the customer to invest in the pdts tat u r mktg? if dun xplain in detail means u bankers r liars lo.... how can u say tat? plus, selfish?! i took a no for customer service, dun i hv the right to ask?!" i noe the customer is very angry viv wat she said n i noe tat idiot is not suppose to say wat she said right in front of customer..... in the end, i had to calm the customer down so tat he wun file complaint at all.... no complaint is oredi a compliment.... luckily, he was ok....

i was so frust after tat cos i din xpect her to say tat in front of customers..... so high level oredi shd noe wat to say wat not to say lo.... not everything oso say.... i told tmf after work n she advised me to let vkl noe.... when i told vkl, she told me "wat!!!! i ask her to go out n help u out n tat was wat she said to u in front of customer??!!!" i really no eyes to c lo...... ABM asked her to come help me but she come out n say wat she said..... really no eyes to c...... since i oredi told vkl, leave it to them to settle d......

22nd of April 2008

today i had a sudden interest in astrology n found a website where they calculate by bdate n tats exactly wat i tried n these r the results of myself n my x n tat bitch......

myself n x

lisa and david, you both have a four in this part of the chart, indicating a relationship that is either excellent or extremely stressful. There is not much room in the middle.
Your lifestyle requirements are probably very similar. You both like a certain amount of predictability and routine in your lives. That does not mean you don't like to be surprised every once in a while, but you like your daily routines to be firmly established and, preferably, not interrupted.
The success of your relationship relies largely on how compatible your daily routines are. The details are important because both of you tend to get quickly irritated when your carefully established daily routines are disturbed. It is important that you respect each other’s needs and habits. Even if other numbers in your charts point to a certain amount of flexibility and adaptability, you both have a tendency to, at least in some areas of your life, create an environment that is finely tuned and designed to accommodate your daily physical, mental and spiritual needs.
Even aside from your compatibility, you should arrange for yourself a secure, well-organized and predictable lifestyle. You both need a solid foundation to be able to face your daily challenges and opportunities. Unless your daily routines are compatible, it will be impossible for you to sustain this relationship without making some adjustments. Don't attempt to sacrifice part or all of your needs and desires to accommodate your partner. It will work only for the short term. Arrange a more separate routine, instead. There is nothing wrong with two partners living a small part of their daily life without much interaction. It is better than trying to adjust to each other, thereby creating small irritations and minor annoyances that, over time, turn into growing sources of anger.
lisa and david, you are both reliable, dependable people. You honor your promises, which is a powerful ally in your relationship, since it is important for david to be able to rely on lisa, and vice versa.
However, if taken too far, your grounded, practical nature can also create a somewhat rigid lifestyle that will most likely lead to frustration and gradual alienation from friends and family members. Lacking tolerance and open-minded acceptance of other people's lifestyles can put a stranglehold on your social life and, indirectly, a strain on your relationship.
Therefore, as you may have realized by now, the keywords to your success and to a pleasant relationship are tolerance and flexibility.

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x n bitch

david and mary, your combination is almost made in heaven. The “almost” can’t be left out because there are some sharp angles to be rounded off. This relationship is founded more on intellectual and spiritual levels than on the sensual, physical plane. david is practical and grounded, goal-oriented - david is a doer. david can take ideas, quickly eliminate what won’t work or is unrealistic, and then make the realistic ideas materialize. david is of the earth. mary, on the other hand, is full of ideas and spiritual search, philosophical and a bit of a dreamer. So, earth and heaven make up this combination, and, just like earth and heaven, you can’t exist without each other. Although this is only one aspect of the chart, its influence will help you overcome many of the obstacles and challenges inherit in every relationship.
This combination is often found among relationships that started at a very early age - something that can be explained by the fact that both numbers are drawn to each other because what they have to offer is exactly what they need from each other. david experiences mary’s more abstract and philosophical outlook on life as offering freedom and space for david’s solid, dependable, but somewhat too structured, restricting views. At the same time, david offers mary a stable, secure port in an internal universe that is often chaotic and highly unstable. As a number seven, mary knows the dangers that lurk in the dark corners of the subconscious when the mind wonders too far into the realms of dreams and abstract fears. While david offers a safe haven to mary, helping mary find peace and comfort, mary, in return, brings freedom to david’s spiritual and mental experiences. Supported by this mutual complementation, this four and seven combination can bring about childhood romances that will last for a lifetime.
The sharp angles I mentioned earlier are found on the more mundane, physical plane. This is where you both may have to compromise if you want your relationship to develop. While david requires order and respectability, mary is more comfortable with a bit of chaos, in which mary can pose as an observer, an unconventional observer, not per se seeking the approval of others.
If you are successful in compromising on the material plane, your relationship will be very satisfying and you will get as close to the proverbial “soul mates” as any two people can get.

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no wonder they were so 'compatible' la..... 'soul mates' wor..... but then again, 1 bastard n 1 bitch is alwix the best matched!!!! no wonder no matter wat i do oso he n i can never get back.... bcos his soul mate had appeared..... if i wld hv known, i wld not even let myself suffer the past 1 yr.... it was a waste of time fighting n praying tat he n i will get back..... he n i r practically the same kind of ppl tats y, if w/out tolerance, he n i cld never b together....

u noe, during the 2 yrs of relationship, i had never dreamt of him at all..... n 2 days ago, i did.... in the dream, we were attending a small party a hse tat i dun recognise n i was in the kitchen helping out n he was there doing all tat i was suppose to do.... the moment i wan to take the knife to cut vege, he wld come up quietly, take the knife fr my hand n do the cutting for me...... in the dream, we did not even talk at all...... its jz tat nia..... he did not even say a single thing to me at all....... n ,though i was frustrated by his actions in the dream, i did not even say a single word to him too..... i dun noe wat is tis suppose to mean but myself now wld no longer wan to talk to him at all...... now the urge of wanting to rtn all his stuffs n cut ties is much stronger.... i blieve tat once i did tat, even if we do meet up in future, i wld no longer acknowledge him at all..... it wld b as though i had erased him fr my life n memory..... funnily, talking bout tis, my tears welled up, n my heart felt so sad n sour.....

but no matter how oso, he n i is oredi a past.... now i m looking forward to my future w/out him.... my future of wat i used to blieve in... my future of wat i had oredi planned way b4 i met him......

20th of April 2008 - realisation

funny tat finally after 3 yrs later oni tat i realised tat fr the start of the relationship, he had oredi wanted to stray apart d.... i did not feel tat then, but now i do.....

17th of April 2008 - happy happy HAPPY DAY!!!!!

hahaha!!! today i very happy ooo.... not bcos of my job but sth to do on my personal thingy..... never had the chance to talk to him so much esp when the talks is not abt work.... hahaha!!! talk is more on personal things eh.... at 1st started viv sum opinions on customer services.... then start to change to how long we hv been at our job oooo...... yuan lai, he had been in tis sector of business for 7 yrs oredi lo...... n when i told him i had been viv the bank for coming 8yrs, he like dun blieve me ooo..... dun tell me he thinks i m still very young hai ma...... then i asked how come he bcame interested in tis business n wat he actually studied when in university...... yuan lai, he studied biochem in U but ended up doing tis business.... then dun noe how we drifted to shopping for daily essentials n he said giant is not a gd place for fresh raw food..... n when i asked if he actually cooks n he said yes but not all the time n most not cooked by him lo..... understand oso lo... cos most of the time he is working ma..... all tis talk was at mcd n he treated us drinks..... funny thing is the table tat we chose had oni 3 chairs n i m sitted where my opposite is free.... but when he brought the drinks over, he pulled the seat over to my opposite n sat down..... i sum more tot if he dun sit in front of me, i wun flush.... but gd thing oso tat he sat in front cos then i can c him directly as he talks to me... err.... i meant us.... hehehe!!!! to happy d..... god... i jz love to c him le.... y ar?... wat is it tat he has tat attracts me tis much ar?..... too bad cldnt xtract more info bout his 'other' half.... wanted so badly to noe le..... cos he is wearing a ring on his 4th finger..... its a plain silver band but i felt it meant sth le..... i think he is attached but cant seem to b able to xtract tat info fr him....... plus since he sat in front of me, he saw tat i m wearing ring on my 4th finger n was taken aback too.... his reaction was jz like mine... but i wore it for fun... wat bout him? is he the same too?.... haih...... how to xtract tat info ar?.... until now, i cant help smiling jz thinking bout him n jz now..... if oni i cld video the whole thing........... i m mad.... i m really mad..... I M VERY VERY MAD!!!!!!!! lotus gal, kenot think so much!!!!! remember tat u dun intend to find another n end up the way u did in the previous relationship!!!!

15th of April 2008 - a day viv the most painful memories

tis date a yr ago was my nightmare.... jz now i went thru the pictures tat i took tat time n the moment i saw the pictures, my tears fell.... i really cant help it.... went thru his picture as well as all those smses tat he sent to me during the 2 yrs n damn, it hurts!!! its so painful to c all those again..... every word he said was a lie.... fr the moment he admitted to the affair, everything was a lame lie........... fr the moment tat bitch came into the picture, he started to change but i din realised tat........... i tot he changed cos of the pressure of his business closing down then... but i din noe tat he changed cos of her..... now tat i tot of it, it hurts me so much cos i hv been a fool all tis while thinking tat once all the financial problems tat the business is bringing us cleared, he will b back to his usual self...... how wld i to noe tat tis is not the reason..... i knew my 6th sense was rite when i felt damn uncomfy when we met tat bitch n yakked overboard...... but i din noe then tat tis bloody bitch is tis bitch tat she can do tis to me...... but like chinese saying 'one hand clap no sound wan'.... mayb it wasnt jz her fault.... god noes if he ever went after her....

thinking back, it was really stupid of me to heed his advise to fight for wat is mine..... i can still remember how he used to scold me stupid for letting go when a 3rd party enters the picture..... to him, i shd fight cos guys wld normally run out of track in btw, so fighting will bring him back on track..... but, he did not ask me to put on turbo when fighting cos he is moving too fast off track!!! now, its raining very heavily.... i guess the God mz hv felt pity over wat happened to me last yr..... pity tat he hurt me tat bad...... pity tat i was hit when it shdnt happen at all.... if oni i cld turn back, i wld choose not to know him at all.... at least, i end up the way i was a yr ago...... at least, i wun b hurting the way i m now...... at least, i wun hv to erase my memories of the 2 yrs.........

but without these xperiences, i will not learn tat painful lesson of relationship n start to plan my future now....... no doubt tat i hope to find my other half, but i guess after tis painful lesson, relationship will b the last thing in my life..... i blieve tis lesson will keep me away fr another relationship for a period of time..... n by the end of the period of time, i wld too old for other relationships........... i guess tis is the best ending for me after tis lesson.......

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14th of April 2008 - a damn crazy day at work but there's happy returns

yesterday was a crazy day at work.... most customers r crazy by nature viv illogical demands.... n worst of all, even the staff oso like tat...... fr crazy company secretary of a customer to the 'wrong' form used for replacement of cards when all tis while its the right 1...... at least there's a happy return for me..... the guy tat i admired so much came to the branch after quite 2 weeks since i last saw him n came up to me n talk..... he jokingly asked where hv i been to cos he din c me so long oredi...... mayb bcos he came during my lunchtime kua tats y din c me..... infact, bcos he din c me, he din even collect his chq book!!!! until yesterday when he saw me oni then he came to me to collect...... god.... i love to c him smile...... he's cute viv his smile on...... too bad dun hv his picture......... i guess i had admired him since a yr n half ago d...... then, i hoped tat he was not blonged...... oni then i can get to noe him better...... but as a fren, he is very nice lo....... i can still remember how he wld come to the branch n then seek to stand near my desk n smile to me n sumtimes when i not too busy, he wld talk to me...... too bad, tat my relationship ended in an ugly way n kept me away fr relationship...... but as a fren, even if he ask me out, it wun kill to noe tis fren ooo........... i can still remember tat he jokingly said tat my smile was so fake when he tested my camera n took my picture in his shop.... hehehe!!! now i cant help smiling..... best to stay tis way..... at least i wun hurt myself further more.......

past 2 weeks of problems...

the past 2 weeks had been xtremely bz viv my work.... my 'gd' partner left for maternity leave, leaving bhind a whole bunch of rubbish for me to pick up..... 2 big cases!!! 1 of it i oredi forgotten but tis other 1 is so big tat i dun even noe how to xplain.... a regular customer of our branch lost their chq book application form n so i gave him the forms to sign so tat i can prepare new chq books for them.... tat was b4 she went on maternity la.... the customer pass back to her for processing n did not write down their account no..... so she had to go n find fr the system lo... n i dun noe how she actually find n whether she got check the signature n rubberstamp of the company at all..... everything proceeded as usual n until the other day when audrey was confirming cheques, she realised tat sth was wrong when she called 1 of the partner to cfm chq time, tat partner said tat he did not issue those chqs!!!! then oni we started check n found out tat the account no printed on the chq blongs to the sister co but the chq books is in the hand of the mother co's director!!! meaning to say all tis while, all the mother co's bills was deducted fr the sister co's account!!!! WAT THE HECK!!!!! of cos audrey wld scold me 1st la cos i m the CSR n the CSR prepares the chq books wan ma...... i lagi pening cos i did not do chq book for quite sumtime d..... at last we went thru everything n told our abm bout tis n then oni audrey called up the customer to let them noe bout tis.....

so pai seh lo cos the directors of the company is so regular tat we noe them quite well n when they came to the branch, they immediately came over to my table n asked for xplanation!! i dun noe how to tell them.... tell them the truth, later my abm say i calculative but they really wanted to noe the truth.... in the end, i told them n apologize to them for all the troubles tat we brought them..... they had to calculate all their accounts over again n make adjustment in between the companies..... so pai seh viv them...... really dun noe wat the heck she is doing man!!! tis kind of thing oso can do... haih..........

hopefully, no more things like tis to happen in future..... if go on like tis, i can never stay in tis position in peace man!!!

12th April 2008 - rest day

since my last blog, a lot happened n i was so bz catching up viv everything tat i hardly hv time for blogging..... anyway, now tat i m currently sick yet again, i can blog d.... hehe!!!! not taking advantage of the MC tat i had la..... i spent my whole MC sleeping cos i was too dizzy after taking the medicine.... luckily, i m on MC.... if not, i wonder how m i to go thru the day being so dizzy.... jz a month ago nia, i was sick n had oni jz recover not so long ago, now i start to fall sick yet again.... i guess my body is really weak...... nah.... the weather nowadays changed to fast tat my body cant even catch up tats y fall sick lo......

in 3days time, its the 1st anniversary of me being, for the 1st time in my whole life, hit til i bled n swollen all over...... mayb due to tat, tats y tis past few weeks, every nite i will hv a recollection of wat happened tat day.... n each time i remembered how he hit me, i felt the pain like it was jz yesterday tat it happened..... u noe, those painful memories was jz a memory now to me n oni a few ppl actually saw me tat hurt until last fri, my best frens finally saw the pictures tat i took tat time............ how it hurts when i saw the pictures again....... the pain was unbearable...... they had wanted to delete those pictures but i stopped them cos it is sth to remind me of how foolish i was to actually blieve tat fighting to the end oni tat i can protect wat was mine....... truth is no matter how i fight to protect, he had oredi blonged to another..... so it was jz a foolish act to fight so hard for sth tat does not blong to me....... ppl used to say "wat is urs, will alwix b urs.... u dun even hv to fight for it for it will come to u" now i really understand the meaning of it............. let tis b a lesson for me to b smarter........

n my parents finally knew abt tis break up n my mum actually told me "even if nobody's there to care for me, she will alwix b there for me".... she did asked wat happened tat we broke up but i din tell her the reason..... i jz said tat break up is ok d..... no need to xplain reason wan..... as long as i m happy viv my life now is oredi a blessing d......

letting go will take up sum time..... forgetting all tat happened will take even more time....... oso kept thinking of who did wrong is a waste of time now tat everything had oredi come to tis stage.... like wat i read in a blog of sumone else's:-

.... from the start if we found a wrong person, no matter how hard we try to keep tis relationship oso is wrong.....
.... dun hope too much for the future for the more we hope, we will hurt even more when things dun turn out rite......
.... rich ppl is not alwix happy, happiest ppl is the richest.....

from a tvb series tat i watched recently, there's tis saying "having lots of money, assets does not mean u r rich..... for those r the things tat u can't bring along to ur grave..... those ppl who hv lots of frens n family around them r the richest.... for frens n family r ppl who will accompany u to ur last laying place n will remember u for all tat u hv done for them......"

so, lotus gal, treasure frens n family in ur life.... dun fight for things even when they tell u tat u shd do tat..... watever is urs, will b urs.... no need to fight for it.... it will come...... watever will b, will b..... the future not ours to c........ those painful memories will go in time to come..... kampatei!!! may the force b viv u....