12th April 2008 - rest day

since my last blog, a lot happened n i was so bz catching up viv everything tat i hardly hv time for blogging..... anyway, now tat i m currently sick yet again, i can blog d.... hehe!!!! not taking advantage of the MC tat i had la..... i spent my whole MC sleeping cos i was too dizzy after taking the medicine.... luckily, i m on MC.... if not, i wonder how m i to go thru the day being so dizzy.... jz a month ago nia, i was sick n had oni jz recover not so long ago, now i start to fall sick yet again.... i guess my body is really weak...... nah.... the weather nowadays changed to fast tat my body cant even catch up tats y fall sick lo......

in 3days time, its the 1st anniversary of me being, for the 1st time in my whole life, hit til i bled n swollen all over...... mayb due to tat, tats y tis past few weeks, every nite i will hv a recollection of wat happened tat day.... n each time i remembered how he hit me, i felt the pain like it was jz yesterday tat it happened..... u noe, those painful memories was jz a memory now to me n oni a few ppl actually saw me tat hurt until last fri, my best frens finally saw the pictures tat i took tat time............ how it hurts when i saw the pictures again....... the pain was unbearable...... they had wanted to delete those pictures but i stopped them cos it is sth to remind me of how foolish i was to actually blieve tat fighting to the end oni tat i can protect wat was mine....... truth is no matter how i fight to protect, he had oredi blonged to another..... so it was jz a foolish act to fight so hard for sth tat does not blong to me....... ppl used to say "wat is urs, will alwix b urs.... u dun even hv to fight for it for it will come to u" now i really understand the meaning of it............. let tis b a lesson for me to b smarter........

n my parents finally knew abt tis break up n my mum actually told me "even if nobody's there to care for me, she will alwix b there for me".... she did asked wat happened tat we broke up but i din tell her the reason..... i jz said tat break up is ok d..... no need to xplain reason wan..... as long as i m happy viv my life now is oredi a blessing d......

letting go will take up sum time..... forgetting all tat happened will take even more time....... oso kept thinking of who did wrong is a waste of time now tat everything had oredi come to tis stage.... like wat i read in a blog of sumone else's:-

.... from the start if we found a wrong person, no matter how hard we try to keep tis relationship oso is wrong.....
.... dun hope too much for the future for the more we hope, we will hurt even more when things dun turn out rite......
.... rich ppl is not alwix happy, happiest ppl is the richest.....

from a tvb series tat i watched recently, there's tis saying "having lots of money, assets does not mean u r rich..... for those r the things tat u can't bring along to ur grave..... those ppl who hv lots of frens n family around them r the richest.... for frens n family r ppl who will accompany u to ur last laying place n will remember u for all tat u hv done for them......"

so, lotus gal, treasure frens n family in ur life.... dun fight for things even when they tell u tat u shd do tat..... watever is urs, will b urs.... no need to fight for it.... it will come...... watever will b, will b..... the future not ours to c........ those painful memories will go in time to come..... kampatei!!! may the force b viv u....