16th january 2011

woke up remembering a dream tat i had.... dreamt of my bloved grandma..... the dream started viv me receiving a news to go to my grandma.... n i was at the desa green apartments there trying to get thru the kampung road back to my grandma's hse like last time but it seems tat it was dark as it was nite time n i forgot the route d.... n so i dun dare to take the risk for fear i wun reach my grandma on time.... n then dun noe, i manage to reach the hospital which is i oso dun noe wer but its like at the shoplots like tat.....

anyway, i scrambled up the stairs to the reception to ask which room.... n the lady said room 12... so immediately i ran to the room n as i got nearer, i saw my uncles n aunts outside the room n they were sobbing n wen they saw me, they asked me to quickly go in.... i went in together viv them n wen i reach her bedside, she was asleep n snoring n as i looked at her, my tears welled up n i cant help as i look at her face..... a face which i missed so much over tis 16yrs.... she looked so frailed for she had been working so hard over the past jz to make ends meet for my mum n family...... as i touched her face, she felt like a little child sleeping.... then her blanket slipped n immediately i put it back for her n mayb she felt it, she woke up n took hold of my hand n i cant help crying (even now as i blog tis).... viv her tired voice, she told me to look for a gd bf to take care of me n ask me not to date too long.... if ngam can marry liao...... n then, i woke up liao....

coming 26th jan is my grandma's death anniversary (23rd of 12th lunar mth) .... n i can still remember wen i saw her dead body at home wen the ambulance sent her back home for prayers..... the grandma tat i loved so much..... whom had cared for me since i was born til her death..... i will alwix remember those times wen she was still around viv me....

Ah Ma, i miss u so much..... if oni u survived then, now u will b enjoying life together viv all of us n i will bring u werever u wan to go, eat watever u wan to eat..... Ah Ma, u will forever b in heart n mind..... tq for taking care of me wen i m small..... if oni i cn repay u for everything tat u did for me......