01st of August 2008 - the past of lotus gal's love life

While watching ‘Little Bride’ n came across a few scene which reminded me of him n all tat he did….. remembered how he insist to carry me across the carpark as it was raining heavily tat the floor is very wet… remembered how he addressed me as his dear n lou por but oso marred by the tots of how he addressed her the same….. remembered how I waited for him at his rented apartment everynite as he rode back home n I opened the door for him n prepared for him to take a bath….. remembered how he wld smile when he walked in thru the door after work…. Remembered how he took care of me when I had fever, cooked for me, dry-bathe me, fed me…..

During a scene where the mum was telling the daughter abt her dad not saying I love u to her mum… the daughter asked if she felt sad never having the chance to heard her dad say tat to her n she replied tat she never felt sad cos as long as her husband felt the same n showed the same, she oredi feel satisfied….. tis made me tot of us again….. he did told me to believe him n stay viv him for he will do all his best for me….. he oso did say tat even if he dun say out loud tat he loves me doesn’t mean tat he dun feel the same…. As long as in his heart he noes who is the most important to him, I shd believe him cos everything he did was out of his love for me…… now as I type tis, I can’t help my tears fr falling….. mayb he is telling the truth, but mayb not….. I was oredi blinded by his lies….

N now, I remembered tat dreadful day when we fought…. I really dun noe how to justify wat he was doing then cos after we fought n he finally saw how hurt I was n after he had cooled down, he actually cradled me in his arms telling me how sorry he was for hurting me tis bad n he never meant for tis to happen…… n even the few days after, everytime he saw me, he cradle me in his arms telling me the same….

Then I tot of the day when we last quarreled n angrily shouted ‘break up’ at each other n how it never been the same since….. ever since tat day, I did not even wan to pick up his calls n he kept sending sms to apologize over wat he said….. n the last time I ever met for dinner n the 2 hrs spent quietly without a word towards each other, I noe tat we cld never get back again….. funnily, I tot I had forgotten how he actually looked like, but now, out of sudden, his vision is so clear…..

But now, everything is said n done….. let tis b a memory… whether to b classified as a good memory or not, it will stay a memory, a past….. a past of lotus gal’s unfortunate love life……