11th October 2009

last fri, after work, i went to my next door mini market to get sum titbits for me to munch on while watching.... mana tau, i had another shock..... on wed, while tokking to my godsis's husband, he informed me tat D's brothers r back in the co n now based at pmtg branch (1st shock)..... then fri evening while in car msging my fren for fri nite's outing, i saw D!!! i think its him cos he really looks like him..... i tot i was too sleepy or mayb lately thinking too much bout him tat i had illusions..... is it really him? i dun noe who to ask..... tat guy in turn saw me n then straightaway, face changed n turned away..... at the same time, i scrolled down my window for the hot air to go out, n i heard him tokking.... i tried hard to listen if its his voice but the sound of my engine is much louder.... then i saw tat D's cousin n another staff was looking my way n then his way..... i really dun noe if it is really really him..... i noe he had a gr8 future in Kia n heard tat he is quite good at wat he is doing there.... plus he hates his aunt so much tat i doubt he will come back to work for her lo.... but tis guy really looks like him.......

i noe lately i hv been thinking too much bout the past n him..... i jz dun xpect to c him..... if it is really him, wat will my reactions b? wat will his reactions b? last fri, i buat tak tau lo.... cos i really needed to sms hun n peng's husband to arrange tat nite's outing...... god, wat a time to do tis to me...... if u ask me if i love him, yes i do.... i loved him very very much...... but will i ever get back viv him, nope i wun...... he hurted me too much for me to forget wat he did then....... jz as sum1 told me, i no longer trust guys but myself after wat happened...... whenever i wanna give a try for a relationship, i will start hving tots tat tis guy will hurt me, tat he will cheat on me n tat he will lie to me..... tis is really bugging tat i kenot tahan.... so i opt to stay single for as long as i still hv tis phobia...... hopefully, i will recover......

now looking forward for my macau trip next mth.... hopefully everything goes as plan....... crossing fingers n praying damn hard.....

05th October 2009

damn!!!! my backache is so bad today til i really kenot tahan d...... went to c the dr but he said he can oni give me painkillers..... took 1 jz now which according to the dr is the highest dosage but i m still in pain now..... i guess i hv to go for massage d.... but i doubt if it can last..... according to old ppl, once hurt, whenever there is rain, the pain will come.... if not mistaken, its called rheumatism...... even the dr i went oso blieve..... tats y he cld oni prescribe painkillers n advise to eat healthily...... hopefully tis pain will go away..... really kenot tahan lo..... sampai my leg oso lenguh oredi.....

tis evening, peng came to visit n brought along her wedding album.... damn nice lo..... $$$ flying sure nice lo.... abo her husband will kek si lo..... time really flies.... tats time when she told me she is getting married, it was barely half yr ago..... mana tau, now she is getting married in a mth's time!!!! finally, the 1st to b married fr the 5 musketeers is peng...... n i guess more to come since we r aging oredi.... its really fun to b able to help out in the process of preparing for marriage..... esp when its for the 5 musketeers sisters...... looking forward to help out viv the rest of the sisters... ahem.... if u guys noe who i meant.... hahahahaha!!!!!

04th October 2009

woke up today feeling better but as the day goes by, the backache starts to trigger..... woke up early tis morning to travel to sp for my skin specialist appointment which was delayed for a mth plus due to hectic schedule..... headed there n by the time reach, there were so many ppl there queueing up oredi...... ysl n i got no. 34 & 35 which was expected to b around 12pm b4 we get to c the dr...... ate our breakfast at the nearby coffee shop n head back to the clinic to ait for our turn.... we sat there til our no is called n went in to c the dr..... gd news is i can finally stop taking the medicine oredi cos my skin had improved since the 1st appointment.... today the dr even changed my cream to a new course n so i hv to go back to c him again in a mth's time to c if the new course is suitable.......

when we were abt to leave, we saw tat there was a piece of long yellow paper on the windscreen.... when i took it up, i saw tat it was a summon..... KNS!!!! like tat oso kena saman.... tis police really teruk.... we've been there so many times but never once kena saman..... reason for the saman is 'tidak mempamerkan kupon meletak kereta'..... SWT!!! how la r we suppose to noe tat in sp, parking hv to show the parking coupon...... we tot it was like penang where there is an attendant to write receipt..... buta kena saman wan..... plus we dun even noe where the heck is the municipal council so we hv to drive back vivout paying..... tomolo oni go n ask my another coll to help us..... she is fr sp so she will now how to do viv it... plus, will ask her to buy the parking coupon for us so tat next time we r there can display the coupon...... haih.... RM30 for a parking lesson.... kanasai!!!!

02nd of october 2009

oredi 1 week liao having backache...... now walk oso satu macam d...... sum more hv to walk slower than usual.... sampai regular customers oso realised n asked wat happened....... haiz....... how i miss tat sum1 who wld massage my back for me back then...... haiz..... anyway, in 2 weeks to come, it marks the 2nd anniversary of a dreadful ending.... cant blieve how time flies so fast...... n pretty soon, i m leaving for macau.... really cant wait lo...... so i m crossing fingers n praying damn hard for my backache to b cured.......

28th September 2009

haiz..... been xtremely bz lately viv so many things to do yet so little time...... very tired of working life.... really cant wait for my macau trip...... tired til writing title oso i type November..... u c la... i really pening d.... earlier tis mth, went to cameron for a 2D1N viv colls..... the air there is jz so refreshing.... pg air really kenot compare lo..... pg air is so polluted, even in office oso..... lately a lot of disagreements in the office fr all directions n i m getting really tired..... plus, my class started oredi n i felt very tired..... 2nd class oredi n i fell asleep in the class!!! haih...... oso, tis mth work oso very bz cos my partner on mc for 3 weeks as she was admitted to hospital for her sinus n after tat was raya oredi..... today she is finally back n i can finally start to clear up my mountain high backlog..... last fri while working alone, my backache suddenly came n it attacked so suddenly tat i was rooted when it attacked..... n not oni once but many times til i kenot tahan n started limping around the office..... my x-manager saw me in so much pain n he advised me to go swimming as it will help my backache...... hopefully i can finish all my backlog n start going for my swimming n massage n badminton...... really in need to excercise lo...... lately been getting fatter..... haih.......

lately, i've been stung by the memory of the past n even dreamt of them..... a past which was supposed to b buried n forgotten but as the memory came, those sad feelings came flooding back.... recently, i found out tat he no longer works in pg island.... he is now in juru n very successful in his job.... customers luvs him for his knowledge in his profession..... its a gd thing cos tat was wat he had wanted.... recognition...... he once told me tat he worked so hard then at the previous company n attended every training given by the company n in the process, kinda 'ignored' me during tat time is for tis recognition n for our future...... though he finally did it for his career, he lost out in relationship viv all those lies n hurt he did to me...... nevertheless, he had nth to lose oso cos he had another viv him too..... he mz b sharing his joy viv her.....

anyway, i dun hv any regret for breaking up..... at least, i put a stop to all those hurt n lies n moved on..... n cld b bcos of him, now i prefer to stay as i m now...... whenever i tot of giving myself a chance in luv, i will b bugged down by questions if he is being true to me, if he is cheating on me, if he really luvs me for who i m.... tis tots bugged me so much tat i felt so insecure n in the end, i choose to stay single..... so my status now shd read as being single but not up in the market....... insecurity really kills me.... so, sorry if i ever hurt any1 viv tis decision..... frens r being quite supportive, listening to me when i needed them....... thank u so much........ oni time will erase all tis fr me...... pls bear viv me.......

sad over inconsiderate ppl......

congratulations to andy n carol for finally being able to publicly announce their relationship.... its a pity to both of them as they suffer hving to hide their love for each other..... 24yrs is damn long lo...... as i read more n more of fans reply to his announcement, i feel real sad cos they were being very selfish to andy..... yes, they adore him n 'pray' him like a god but he is oso a human...... come on.... u need love n so does him...... he is going to be 48yrs old tis yr n its more than about time to get married d lo........ leave andy n carol alone la..... let them enjoy their new life together.....

though i m not a great fan of andy but lately reading bout him n carol makes me so sad..... sad tat most of his fans r so inconsiderate of his being...... he loves carol but for fear of rejection fr his fans, he had kept tis a secret for 24yrs..... as a gal, she shd hv her recognition oredi la..... most of andy's fans r gals, so u shd understand tat hving recognition as ur guy's wife is very important..... so give ur blessings to them instead of giving them so much trouble..... afterall, she is oredi pregnant.....

7th of July 2009

really dun noe wat to say bout her..... monday MC, today EL, tomolo EL, thurs i bet i oso EL n fri AL!!!! WTF!!!!! n when i wan to apply leave for monday to take my mum do things, my idiot ABM dun allow cos its a replacement holiday!!!! Fri is oso a replacement holiday wat, y let her take leave? my previous ABM wld not approve leave on days like tat wan lo so as to b fair to the other person as well...... now i m so fed up viv work n life n pik chik n TL!!!!! damn TL lo!!!! its oredi July n i still hv not dcided where to go for a holiday yet...... be it far or near, i dun mind..... really jz wan to go sumwhere tat i can relax n forget abt work...... i m damn tired!!!!