the life of lotus gal

02nd February 2012

2012-02-02T23:25:00.002+08:00

well.... actually, i wan to jz share a funny dream tat i hv.... i hv not dreamt about tis fren for quite sumtime oredi n suddenly, i did last nite.... the dream goes....

peng n i was at a club, u noe, partying n drinking abit.... midway thru, i wanted to go to the toilet n i told peng.... she pula in turn told me tat she is feeling very hot.... so she followed me to the toilet which is so big n spacious and at the end of the toilet, there's a big pail of water.... the moment peng saw the pail, she walked to it, picked it up n pour on herself!!!! i was so shocked n speechless but i still went to toilet as i was in hurry to pee.... when i got out of the toilet, peng was still at the basin drying herself up... so i told her i m going out as the toilet is getting crowded....

the moment i got out of the toilet, wee lee came to me in a hurry tat i hv not even register his presence, and pulled me to him n hugged me so tightly tat i was almost out of breath... i was so surprised by his actions n told him to let me go but he held on to me n hugged me all the way around the club....

finally time has come for us to go home n peng told me she is following other frens home since wee lee is viv me..... n she jz left like tat.... here i was stuck in wee lee's embrace n could oni follow him.... so we went to get our car to go home.... on the way, he kept telling me tat he's gonna kiss me tonite n it's gonna b the 1st time ever kissing me... though in the dream, i feel funny cos i noe he'll never say tat to me in reality.... hahahaha!!!! anyway, we got to the carpark n to my car... i took out my car keys n he snatched it fr me n tried to unlock my car by alarm.... but i guess he mz hv pressed the lock n my car was making a whole lot of noise n i was feeling tat the noise sounds familiar, like my alarm clock.... N I WOKE UP LAUGHING MYSELF ALL THE WAY TO THE BATHROOM......

until now, everytime i remembered the alarm, i cant help laughing.... the last time i had tis kind of funny dream was quite sumtime ago.... tat 1 was about me receiving a birthday card viv a music box... but wen i opened the card, instead of playing Happy Birthday song, it sounded like my alarm n i woke up laughing as well....

haih.... crazy me..... anyway, bout the person tat i dreamt abt doing things tat will never ever happen, i was really surprised... but anyway, its jz a dream.... dreams r jz dreams.... funny dreams r for rememberance......

26th December 2011

2011-12-26T17:04:00.006+08:00

Since last blog, so much happened... N I was damn bz until recently.... My partner's pregnancy now is the main the concern of my abm so no matter wat Audrey n I say, he will b at her side, pregnant or not.... So we chose to keep silent n let thing unfold by itself n c wat he will do.... N I can ONI hope then Tat watever I predicted to happen in the coming months, will happen n then padan muka the management....

Well, early dec, I went to Pantai for a free abdominal check up, thanks to Annie Ong for putting name.... N during the check, found out Tat I might hv cyst n was advised to do further scan to cfm if it's cyst... N my mum pula WANs me to go to GMC instead... So, due to my partner being on leave, I tot i shall wait til she came back then ONI I will go GMC... Manatau, tis idiot called n say Tat her daughter admit hospital n wld like to extend leave since hospitalization is compassionate leave for her but luckily, mr yu insist Tat she comes back to work so Tat I can go for further check.... N so I went to GMC on 7th dec but jz normal scan n oredi the dr said it's a cyst n arranged for me to go back the next day for MRI scan, which I did, ONI to cfm wat the dr said.... N it's on both sides of my ovaries.... Dr said I hv no other option than open operation.... Prior to the MRI scan, mr yu oredi told me Tat if I need to operate, to do it in jan wen they hv enuff staff.... My partner pula told me ' I hope the scan shows nth wrong for u....' ( which I tot, how totful she is hoping I m ok) but the next sentence let me c thru her completely.... She said ' cos if not, u will need to do operation n my son will go sunat tis sat n next week I m on leave n can't afford to cancel as no 1 to care for my son'

Fine! So wen dr say I hv to operate, I purposely arranged for it on 20th so Tat she can complete her 1 week leave as well as the 1 day replacement due to compassionate leave.... But, tis inconsiderate lady (it's abt time I call her Tat cos she is like Tat) called on mon evening to say Tat she is bleeding n can't come back to work... Worst of all, she waited til every1 finishes work ONI she called!!!! N sum more tell me Tat she gotta inform me b4 telling mr yu!!! Who m I la... Jz merely a small potato customer service.... So after speaking to her, I passed her call to mr yu n after Tat, mr yu hang up the phone not long after Tat n sighed n said 'wa tau Tua Liao!!!!' he turned to me but I jz shrugged my shoulders n buat tak tau.... Anyway, it's no longer my business since no matter wat oso I wun postpone!!! I hv done my best as an employee n it's my health we r talking!!! Die oso mz choose date ka??? Y dun they hv gd stuff Tat time, think of me 1st leh???? Damn kanasai!!!!

After awhile, mr yu called for an emergency meeting viv the officers to arrange for the coming weeks wen Tat idiot is not at work.... Audrey will b a full time CSR n her daily jobs r to b equally divided by the rest of the officers n mr yu din wan to point at an officer to do the job n I tell u la, in the end, no one will do the job n Audrey will still hv to complete it herself ( which was jz as I predicted) n Audrey is damn pissed viv her... I think now the officers r quite pissed viv her n told Audrey Tat wat we previously told mr yu is happening now n then, he said we r selfish n not understanding cos we hv never been pregnant b4.... But now, everything I predicted n said hv surfaced 1 by 1 n he noes it... Jz Tat can't say much cos he noes he was wrong to say Tat previously....

N fr wat I heard of Audrey saying Tat mr yu is now oso complaining Tat the idiot is very ma huan n inconsiderate but Audrey jz replied, told u so.... Even to Audrey oso, he din dare to say much d cos he noes Tat tis idiot is causing every1 around a lot of problems..... I can ONI hope Tat it will bring out his senses n let him do sth bOut it....

N now back to me.... I went for the op not knowing how to b scared but eventually suffered the 1st few days like hell.... Immediately after the op, they woke me up n I was in so much pain Tat the moment I can move my limbs, I was ranting like hell feeling like I Wanna kick n punch the dr.... It was really damn painful Tat no words can describe the pain then.... Luckily 1 gd hearted OT dr got me a jab but the medicine was slow in easing the pain... He tried to get me a 2nd jab but kenot cos the 1st jab is not even 15mins yet.... But after getting back to the ward, it got better but still in pain.... Now, it's jz getting much better d.....

Hmmm.... Xmas kenot celebrate.... I guess bday oso lo... So sad.... I can ONI hope to recover soon... Cny is jz a mth away n I wan to b able to enjoy my cny.....

16th August 2011

2011-08-16T08:58:00.002+08:00

I m so surprised by how sum ppl can make it look like I m at fault jz bcos she is pregnant.... FOR GOD DAMN SAKE!!!! I did not even say her anything.... Funny.... N found out a few info bout her too... Tonite update blog...

15th August 2011

2011-08-15T13:30:00.002+08:00

Today so beh tong... She sum more dare to give me face to c.... From the moment I reach office, she did not even other to tok to me or even ask if any update on our circulars.... She makes it as though I m at fault!!!! Really kanasai... I did not even comment bout her condition n she dare to give me face!!?? Now I wan to scold her.... Damn her lo!!!! Fine viv it... I will b as selfish as I can b.... N I noe I hv been disturbing ppl around me viv tis case... I shall shut my mouth now n do wat I shd can d.... God noes.... I hope so....

14th of August 2011

2011-08-14T23:11:00.002+08:00

Zyezye Dureyna :
baru ku tahu rupa-rupanya masih ada manusia yg memang x boleh berubah perangai buruknya..... kalu dulu aku boleh lagi brsabar atas ajaran kedua org tua n agama ku menyuruh bersabar itu separuh dari iman...tapi skarang.....sabar itu ada batasnya........aku akan kuatkan diriku supaya tidak dpijak lagi oleh org yg x brtemadun n tdak berperikemanusian.....ingatlah kita sbagai manusia bukannya slalu berada d atas kadang2 d bawah jgak.....

Siti Zamry :
Relax kak zie..sabar2..:)

Zyezye Dureyna :
nasib baik ni bulan puasa siti..kau x ntahla.....

Salina Abd Salim :
dugaan bulan puasa...kak zyezye......

Zyezye Dureyna :
mungkin la ina...bulan puasa ni kita kena bawa2 bersabar..inilah dugaan tuhan untuk org yg disayanginya....

Siti Zamry :
Ha'ah kak zie..nsb baik bln puasa.. 2day, kak zie x keja ker?

Zyezye Dureyna :
cuti sakit ti.....h hu hu..itu pun ada yg faham2 lagi...depa ingat kita wat2 sakit kot....tu yg x tahan tu

Siti Zamry :
Ooo..normal lah tue kak zie.. Take care..mg cpt2 sihat..:)

Zyezye Dureyna :
tq ti...:d

Kekanda Sg Nibong :
sabar banyak2 ok

Bgr Shoppe :
Sabar 3x saja ok...

Junaidah Mohamed :
org2 cam ni wat dek je......xmenjaminkan masa depan kita!!!!! mmg pendengki yg teramat2....apa depa dpt ntah dgn dengki mendengki ni kan!!!!! xfaham le manusia2 cam ni!!!!!! relax n cool babe!!!!!!!! org yg teraniaya akan terbela nasibnya....sabar!!!!!!

Zyezye Dureyna :
tq semua...

Azwal Azmi :
Huh..... banyak besabar jgn jadi macam saya sesal.......macam2...

Zyezye Dureyna :
Azwal Azmi ye ka....mcm mana boleh sesal plak ni

Azwal Azmi :
Ya la terlampau ikut kata hati hancur semua termasuk kerjaya :@

Zyezye Dureyna :
ya ka..keciannya

Zaliza Aziz :
ya betol zie....mentang2 lah la ni depa dok sihat sentiasa, x dak masalah keluarga, masalah duit ringgit, kawan semua dok pulun ikot depa konon2 depa la baguih,,,,,depa x tau, 'masa' depa x mai lagi....ALLAH maha adil.....

tis is wat my 'dear partner posted as well as all the comments made by her frens..... well, i m not very sure who tis post was meant for but fr the way it look, sounds like it was meant for me.....

"aku akan kuatkan diriku supaya tidak dpijak lagi oleh org yg x brtemadun n tdak berperikemanusian" makes me wonder, if its meant for me then, who is civilised and humane enuff for me? yes, she is pregnant, but being pregnant is not everything..... y does ppl alwix REQUIRE me to go n understand other's situation n not vice versa? wen things happened, who wld ever tot of my situation other than asking me to go n settle for them? if i m being selfish, then wat is she?

refering to her fren, zaliza aziz's last comment, wat is she trying to mean? those who "dok sihat sentiasa, x dak masalah keluarga, masalah duit ringgit' r NOT HUMAN n ppl like them r human la is it? swt....

n she was saying tat 'sabar ada juga batasnya'... well how dare she say tat wen she is not the 1 suffering? tis is double swt.....

all in all, i can oni say tat tis got me really S.P.E.E.C.H.L.E.S.S. looks like i m being uncivilised n inhumane to her situation.... n who in tis big wide world will b civilised n humane to me leh? the Lord above? well, if its the Lord above, then i hv not feel anything yet..... n so, i hv decided tat 'we cannot change the wind; but we can adjust the sail'... i will adjust my sail fr last monday onwards after wat my 'dear ABM' named me..... everytime, i hv to think others wen they never ever think of me.... tis time, i will b live up to wat i was named after n think for myself.... in 1 of Tony Lau's movie, he alwix say 'ngor wai yan yan, yan yan wai ngor' n tats wat i was then.... now, as much as my 1 pair of hand, 1 pair of legs, 1 pair of eyes, 1 brain n 1 strength can do, i will do... other than tat, i cant help much.... i mz start to think for myself, my own good.... S.E.L.F.I.S.H.? I will b fr now....

8h of August 2011

2011-08-08T23:57:00.003+08:00

today is a disappointing day for me.... as suay as i can b, i cant do much bout her pregnancy.. but i can oni hope for a better relief partner to help ease burden.... wen i received the news tat she is being hospitalised, i had oredi 90% xpected it will happen.... its has alwix been like tis for her past 3 pregnancy period n i hv nth to say cos it may happen to me too wen i m pregnant in future (tats if i ever get married...

u c, last thurs, i received her sms stating 'dr said i kenot carry heavy stuff, kenot work too much. tomolo (fri) i mc. dr said the condition of the baby is not stable'. so ur 1st tot will be, our job as a CSR is alwix heavy n A LOT!!!! so in order for her not to suffer as well as myself n audrey not to suffer during her pregnancy til her maternity (which will b 1yr later), audrey suggested to transfer her to a less job dept so tat she can relax as she works n i can get a full time partner to ease my burden.... so, tis morning n finally, i suggested to my ABM about tis n guess wat's his reaction was..... his expression was like shocking n eyes almost bulging out n in a loud voice said "Lu, u dun understand wat its like to b pregnant n facing tis kind of problems. U kenot jz think of urself!"

there n then, i felt like he jz light up the volcano in me n after tat i cant even ctrl myself.... i voiced to him tat i m not being mou lei chui lau jz bcos she is pregnant but i m oso thinking for her good as well as mine n for others whose gonna b affected wen she is not around.... is he trying to mean tat i m not pregnant b4 n so i dun understand her current situation n feelings? then do i hv to get myself pregnant in order to understand her situation? then who will understand my situation???!!!!!

M I BEING SELFISH???!!!! i'll tell u wat its like to b SELFISH!!!! well, last mth she issued A's chq book to B n tis is oredi the 3RD TIME!!!!! n A was very angry n was making a scene at our table n threaten to make a police report n make tis BIG.... he said tat B forged his signature wen B did not.... n here we are trying to find out the truth tat A did sign on the papers n so happened my ATM balancing was not balance. so i asked her to watch the CCTV to find out the truth. instead, she wen to my mgr's room n spoke to my mgr abt tis case but not watching the CCTV. wen she came down n i asked if she saw anything, she said tat she actually went up to speak to my mgr..... i was so DAMN ANGRY bcos i hv to settle my outages in trial balance n jz a small thing (watching cctv) oso she cant do.... wen audrey asked n i told her wat zz replied me, audrey asked me to stop watever i was doing n go upstairs n watch the cctv!!! damn, its not my fault!!! y mz i do tat? my 'dear ABM' said T.E.A.M.W.O.R.K!!!!! Fine!!! i went up to watch cctv n abt 1/2hr later, she intercom me at my mgr's room n said "Lu, i nak balik dah. nak jaga anak n rest. U slowly tengok ya"... WTF!!! TIS IS WAT IS CALL SELFISH OK... its her fault!!!! n i hv to settle for her!!!! WTF!!! n i had to stare at the damn cctv until 10pm!!!!! wat is fair to me? did my 'dear ABM' appreciate wat i did? i sacrificed my time n energy to watch tat damn CCTV for a fault tats not mine!!!!! it was FRIDAY n i cld hv gone home earlier n rest n do my stuff or go out n get to noe more guys.... instead i sat in the room n stare at tat damn cctv n in the end, i was called SELFISH jz bcos i suggested to transfer her to a less job dept for her good,my good n every1's good!!!!!

DAMN.... I M SO DAMN DISAPPOINTED..... N SPEECHLESS TOO..... all i can say is i m disappointed, speechless, unhappy, depressed n suicidal... i cant even stop myself fr hurting my own body.... i cant ctrl the tears to fall wen i m so angry....i cant ctrl my temper fr starting off..... n i cant even appreciate myself...... i really cant imagine wat will happen to me if i go on like tat.... mayb i will b a siao lang n go tg rambutan? or mayb i will get depression n hv to take medication? or mayb i will suffer 'yan kak fan lit' for wanting to 'siam' all tis unfair events coming my way? i really dun noe....

04 August 2011

2011-08-04T22:42:00.002+08:00

I M SO DAMN DAMN DAMN PIK CHIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N DAMN FED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N DAMN SUAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y DO I HV TO B SO SUAY???????????????????????????????? UNTIL WEN I HV TO B TIS SUAY?????????????????? DAMN!!!! F**k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! L**C**U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD, I HATE MY SUAY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! I WAN TO DIE NOW, IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!! KANASAI!!!! LEHMAH!!!!! DAMN!!!! DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!! F**K F**K F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SO GERAM NOW N SO HOT N SO DAMN SUAY!!!!! KANASAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOMENT MY SHE BROKE MY JADE RUYI YESTERDAY, I OREDI TOLD SANNY TAT STH IS GOING TO HAPPEN N IT WILL AFFECT MY WORK.... SUMTIMES, NOT TAT I M VERY MAI SUN BUT TIS THINGS HAPPEN U WILL NOW IT HAPPENS FOR A REASON.... THE LAST TIME WHEN I LOST MY JADE CICADA, STH BAD HAPPEN THE NEXT DAY TOO!!!!! DAMN!!!! REALLY DAMN!!!!! I HATE TIS LIFE!!!!! I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!! I JZ WAN TO LEAVE NOW!!!!!!

03 August 2011

2011-08-03T21:52:00.002+08:00

jz realised tat its been so so SO LONG since i last update my blog... so much happened over tis period of time n i can hardly remember wat i did oredi.... i oni can say, i hv been very very VERY BUSY..... as i said, so much happened.... sad, happy, crazy, all oso got.... i can say tat i m very happy cos i went for the Krabi trip as well as to Genting to watch my Fuk Luk Sau.... crazy? well, i m alwix doing crazy stuff.... sad.... hmmmm.... shhhh.....

the Krabi trip was fun.... i had so much fun eventhough i cant swim n din go snorkelling..... the water was so clear n i luv it.... of cos, the company is oso another set of crazy ppl.... i got darker too.... n had a swim suit mark on my body.... luckily, my face was not affected tat bad... otherwise, ivy is going to nag me lo.... hahahaha!!

2 weeks after the krabi trip, i went to Genting to watch Fuk Luk Sau live in genting..... n i can tell u, i dun regret it.... its so much fun n laughters watching them.... best is i get to shake hands viv 2 of them namely wong cho lam n yuen siu cheung.... i was so high after tat.... no words can explain how much i luv FLS..... but of cos, other than tis, i had the worst of it too.... i suffered the worst diarrhea of my life in genting... after taking a packet if fried bihun frm hainan cafe in casino, i started to hv tummyache tat felt like ur intestines being twisted so hard....

jz wen chooi ming said she wans to go to the gambling table, i will tell her i need to go to the toilet n i felt so bad..... jz b4 check in at 11.15am, i had oredi went to toilet for a record of 6times jz in a space of 5 hrs.... n wat is worst is the color of the stool got lighter n lighter until it ended up green colored n watery..... after checking in, i went to toilet another 2 times b4 i forced myself to catch up on sleep.... after 1.5 hr of sleep, woke up to get ready to enjoy my free time, but instead, i went to toilet another 3 times b4 i can finally get out of the room.... infact chooi ming was nonstop nagging bout not being able to play bcos of my condition..... on the way down, i started to hv tummyache again n she told me to better c the dr... so she helped me to the 1st world clinic n it took me almost 15mins to get there wen during normal time, 5-7mins oredi can reach.....

after seeing the dr, i was advised to eat 'cheng tam' food so as not to aggravate my tummy... even the dr said i had food poisoning..... n guess wat! the medical bill cost me RM125!!!.... anyway, after tat, i had to take porridge for brunch n kuai kuai take medicine..... we walked a bit around the indoor but i had to go to toilet another 2 times b4 i told chooi ming tat i wan to go back to the room.... we went back to our room n i went to toilet another 2 times b4 leaving for the Arena of Stars... the whole day i was praying real hard tat my tummy wun give me any trouble wen i wan to watch my FLS.... n luckily enuff, it din... after FLS n late dinner, chooi ming said wan to take me tour the casino but i guess it was not for long b4 i told her i really wan to go back to our room..... reach our room n went to toilet twice b4 i head to bed n forced myself to sleep......

during the nite, i was woken up due to tummyache.... the next morning, i also visited the toilet numerous times.... i told ming tat i practically 'or kon or cheng' d.... infact til now, i still to go to toilet frequently... but not as bad as on sat..... n my tummyache still the same like on sat.... tat 1 box of fried bihun really took a toll on me.... n i can oni think, wat abt the elders who took the same fried bihun too... i oredi diarrhea til i tot i might die, how abt the elders? n i ban ban BAN tis hainan cafe..... wat a welcome back treat i had fr genting after almost 4yrs since i last visited..... really kanasai....

n yesterday, went back to work n being greeted by a bunch of auditors..... kau lat... wat time they chose to come..... haih....

22nd April 2011

2011-04-22T00:06:00.002+08:00

guan lai its been 2mths plus since i last blog..... been xtremely bz after 14th feb.... even now oso still same.... to cut it short, since my last post, attended 2 wedding dinners, a few family dinners n frenz dinners..... tonite i m going to watch MLTR at pisa n bought tickets to watch Fun Viv the 3 Gods in july.... now i m hving headache but stil blogging cos i m waiting for my hair to dry b4 i go to sleep....... bz bz days.... wen oni can go travel le.... haih,......

14th February 2011

2011-02-14T21:33:00.002+08:00

its Valentines Day again n i m alone..... well.... i shd b thankful tat i hv a computer tat i can type out my tots.... i m very frustrated today... shd say i m very frustrated everyday of my life since 3yrs plus ago... when u work viv a partner, we shd b totful not b selfish.... but it seems tat, when i m being totful, sumbody is taking advantage of it n then now, after 3yrs later, i was labelled 'backstabber' indirectly... though unhappy viv her leave records, i blieve she shd hv felt tat her leave records is not beautiful at all n she cant blame me for being unhappy viv it.... yes, health is not sth we can all control but we can take preventive measures so tat we wun fall sick tat often.... infact, sumtimes i really suspects if she does any preventive measures....

well, we shall c things tis way.... let's not jz based on her MCs.... let's jz look at her children.... her youngest son was admitted last yr bcos there was a toy tyre viv a diameter of at least 5cm stuck in his nose!!! jz a few weeks back, her daughter had the earring stud stuck in the earring hole n the earring stud is abt 3cm, n a roundish stud.... n other than tis 2 cases, her children r often sick... ELs, CLs n even MCs were fully taken up.... i noe the diff btw myself n her is, she's got 3kids n i m not even married.... i noe children r easily infected but as a parent, she shd take good care of herself in order for her to take care of her kids!!! wat's the explanation of her MCs then? tats y i alwix suspect how she takes care of herself n her kids....

even her husband oso felt wat i felt too..... once last yr, he said to her bout her alwix taking MCs and even told her to take care of herself more so as not to take so much MCs but i guess, its useless lo.... like she said on her FB post tat "Sihat kita bukannya kita yg minta tapi tuhan yg tentukan".... diff ppl hv diff thinking n diff way of taking care of themselves.... oni god noes if she has been taking good care of herself......

yes, i may hv posted how damn frustrated i was when i was called on friday morning, when my brain was not even awake, n was forced to cancel my leave n go back to work bcos she was on MC.... wat i m frustrated about is my officers was telling tat no1 wans to even help the CSR table!!! u noe, i dun hv a chain tying myself to the CSR table n chair.... y can't they b more helpful? y did they choose to b selfish? fine... n when i finally get back to work, i was given the dirtiest look n worst words to listen by those 'good' customers.... is tat my fault too?? i was forced to go back to work n they shd b thankful tat i actually cancel my leave n go back to work..... n worst of all, i had to survive my day vivout lunch!!!! do u think anybody in my office cared bout tat?? NO!!! no1 cared if i m dead or alive at my table..... did she feel sorry for me? NO!!! instead she indirectly said tat i m backstabbing her!!!! i was so hungry n sleepy n tired n suffering the worst headache for not enuff sleep n did she pity me?? NO!!!! i hv gastric since i was 11yrs old n since then, i'll alwix make sure tat it wun happen again...i will do watever i can so tat i dun hv gastric again... tats taking preventive measures.... even when having sex oso, we need to hv preventive measures la....

but i guess to them, its kurniaan allah, tats y they dun do preventive measures n tats y they hv so many kids n yet they can still survive everyday even though they r poor..... n tats oso y she dun noe how to take preventive measures bout her health lo.... at times, when i m about to fall sick n wans to take preventive measures, i will think "y shd i when she does not even think bout me?"... but in the end, i will still choose to take proper care so tat i will not fall sick so badly..... like chooi ming alwix scold me "u r being to gd hearted!!! since she chor 1, u do 15 la... since she never think bout u, y think bout her?" n i alwix tot, chooi ming is being an old lady alwix nagging at me to do things tat i m not supposed to do.... but now, looks like sum1 is being selfish n not being grateful n instead, pointing fingers when i show my temper.......

all i've got to say is ONI GOD NOES wat i went thru.... when u r still asleep n sudddenly being shoved the phone to answer n was told to cancel leave n go back to work n worst, uses appraisal to tok to u, how wld u feel? ONI GOD NOES wat i felt.... i hv no say but oni to let it b.... its my fault tat i post such a frustrated post.... its my fault for blaming her.... its my fault tat she is taking advantage of me... its my fault to b working viv her.... its my fault for everything tat i hv done.... its my fault tat i m still alive here when i m suppose die a few yrs back.....

wat a valentines day for me..... wat a hokkien cny for me.... wat a rabbit yr 2011 for me.... wat a fucking life i had..... i shd b dead for everything tat i hv done..... if i m gone, then i can take away all the sadness n heartaches tat i caused her.... if i m gone earlier, i wun even hurt myself too.... if i m gone, all tat i hv done wrong wun happened at all......

sorry for all tat happened... sorry for tat i hv done wrong.... sorry for everything....

24th January 2011

2011-01-25T00:20:00.002+08:00

its been 3yrs plus and last nite, i dreamt of the fight i had viv him..... n the pain woke me up twice....... so many yrs had past n i alwix hv tis dreams...... can say all those dreams r bad..... all those bad memories came back in dreams to me.... y after 3yrs???? i hope viv tis, all will vanish forever......

16th january 2011

2011-01-16T19:35:00.002+08:00

woke up remembering a dream tat i had.... dreamt of my bloved grandma..... the dream started viv me receiving a news to go to my grandma.... n i was at the desa green apartments there trying to get thru the kampung road back to my grandma's hse like last time but it seems tat it was dark as it was nite time n i forgot the route d.... n so i dun dare to take the risk for fear i wun reach my grandma on time.... n then dun noe, i manage to reach the hospital which is i oso dun noe wer but its like at the shoplots like tat.....

anyway, i scrambled up the stairs to the reception to ask which room.... n the lady said room 12... so immediately i ran to the room n as i got nearer, i saw my uncles n aunts outside the room n they were sobbing n wen they saw me, they asked me to quickly go in.... i went in together viv them n wen i reach her bedside, she was asleep n snoring n as i looked at her, my tears welled up n i cant help as i look at her face..... a face which i missed so much over tis 16yrs.... she looked so frailed for she had been working so hard over the past jz to make ends meet for my mum n family...... as i touched her face, she felt like a little child sleeping.... then her blanket slipped n immediately i put it back for her n mayb she felt it, she woke up n took hold of my hand n i cant help crying (even now as i blog tis).... viv her tired voice, she told me to look for a gd bf to take care of me n ask me not to date too long.... if ngam can marry liao...... n then, i woke up liao....

coming 26th jan is my grandma's death anniversary (23rd of 12th lunar mth) .... n i can still remember wen i saw her dead body at home wen the ambulance sent her back home for prayers..... the grandma tat i loved so much..... whom had cared for me since i was born til her death..... i will alwix remember those times wen she was still around viv me....

Ah Ma, i miss u so much..... if oni u survived then, now u will b enjoying life together viv all of us n i will bring u werever u wan to go, eat watever u wan to eat..... Ah Ma, u will forever b in heart n mind..... tq for taking care of me wen i m small..... if oni i cn repay u for everything tat u did for me......

15th January 2011

2011-01-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

been feeling very tired since last mth n i m still trying to figure out y..... anyway, i hv passed my CFP M6 n i m on cloud nine..... my lecturer told us tat he dun wan to meet us again the next semester n luckily, i pass in 1 go..... luckily i dun hv to repeat..... originally, i wanted to continue viv my accounting course.... but now, i will take a break tis yr n continue next yr as i blieve i will b hving a bz 2011..... i hope gd news will keep flowing in as we move into the yr of rabbit.... n i hope my dreams will come true too.....

11th January 2011

2011-01-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

its oni the 11th day of 2011 n i hv oredi heard few bad news.... the yr started viv my partner not doing wat i hv told her to do since 2mths ago.... n i was like a crazy gal seacrhing for sth tat she had kept but dun recall wer she kept it n i m still searching for it now..... fed up!!!! 2mths!!!! she din even bother to do tat.... its oso her job too!!! cant she jz do her part n give sum space to do my job as well.... though i m a senior, i cant b doing everything on my own when tis is a joint job...... really kanasai.....

then, peng's husband getting worst n currently, she had moved out of his hse after tat cheap lady threaten to hurt her.... i was kinda hoping she wld leave a long time ago cos i can feel tat she is very pressured staying there n a little not sane..... she cant think straight.... but now, i oni can hope tat her things will finally come to an end earlier so tat she finally start over viv her new life...... though these bad memories will stay forever viv her but i hope she will quickly leave all tis n begin over viv her new life n live better than b4....

then, my partner's sudden 3days mc last week n in addition to the job undone, i was so ....... really bo lat.... every1 kept asking wer is the new register n all i can say is i cant even find the stock.... luckily, mr yu found a relief for me n tat really helps a lot... at least part of my job can finish earlier, then i can do more filings.... my filings hv been left undone since end of sept as i was too bz viv other jobs.....

along the week, peng's case got more updates n everytime, its worst than b4.... i can oni pray n hope tat everything will b over soon..... in between, there were sum d news too..... 1st gd news, my fren's court case finally got thru n she is finally free..... i m really happy for her.... now she finally start her life n plan her future according to her wish..... i wish her the best of everything in the future.... hope all her future dreams comes true..... at the end of the 1st week, i meet viv another fren who is getting married next mth..... n as the days drew nearer, we, the frens, r getting more excited n she is getting more pening viv her undone wedding chores... since she is working in kl n her wedding is in penang n ipoh.... so i can oni help her viv sum of her undone chores......

the start of the 2 week, oyi informed tat her grandma was admitted again...... i can oni pray n hope tat their family will b strong...... as frens, we can oni pray n hope her grandma will recover soon......

tis morning, after a day of mc yesterday, while working, i overheard my officer telling a customer tat one of our relief senior officer, a 3mths retiree, passed away yesterday after an accident 4days ago on his motorcycle at the penang bridge.... i was so shocked.. it suddenly made me realized tat life is really short.... he jz oni retired 3 mths ago n baru oni wan to start enjoy his retirement but now he is gone..... tis makes me finally realize tat i hv done sth rite in my life..... traveling..... though is $$$ wasting but at least i hv lived my life vivout regrets.... so i shall go travel as much i can afford so tat when i die, i dun regret....

n i jz got to noe tat wee lee's grandma passed away n was cremated tis morning.... n worst is, during dinner jz now, his mum slipped n fell while tokking on the [hone n walking..... haih..... i hope his mum will recover soon..... if she dun, wee lee will b worried....

all the gd news n bad news come together.... i hvnt had the chance to register the details of 1 event, another happened.... i hope after all tis series of mixed events, the gd news will keep coming as we step into the yr of rabbit..... i hope every1 peng peng an an, do wat oso soon soon li li........ to those who had bad news, i hope all the bad things will end soon n tat everything gd will come...... to those viv gd news, i hope the gd news never stops........ i hope every1 wld take care of their health as the weather is not gd recently (i oso fell sick due to tis) n be prosperous in the coming yr of rabbit....... we all sama sama prosper in the rabbit yr ya!!!!!

10 nov 2010

2010-11-10T13:22:00.000+08:00

I m so moodless today... Y is tat so????

26th sept 2010

2010-09-26T20:42:00.002+08:00

I FINALLY GET U!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!! today, i finally got my 3gs.... can't wait to start using.... now its charging n my upgraded plan can start using tomolo evening onwards... yippeee......

29th August 2010

2010-08-29T23:46:00.002+08:00

erin came to pg today n brought along her bf to intro to my family..... but they oni managed to meet me today s my parents was not free..... anyway, she was telling me how her bf changed fr using iphone 3gs to iphone4... n i took the chance to ask bout the diffs n which he wld recommend..... manatau, he recommended iphone4 which now left me in dilemma as to 3gs 16gb or iphone4...... fickle minded..... i m very fickle minded..... even the fortune teller said so too after reading my chart...... now i really dun noe which to take....

31st July 2010

2010-07-31T02:55:00.002+08:00

well.... i din wan to blog today actually, but i read aun's gf's blog regarding his family problems n i felt a part of it too..... the whole thing actually happened mid last mth.... fr the post, aun's stepfather had passed away after falling down.... n worst is, his eldest stepsister who is 14yrs old, is currently pregnant!!!! aun is helpless n dun noe wat to do.... it got me thinking if 'he' noes bout tis.... i've oni met their stepfather n stepsisters once but i felt a bond viv them.... esp their mother but viv 2 bad news at once, its really so hard to digest.... i hope aun will b strong cos now, his mother n stepsisters will b looking at him to care for them.... i noe his burden will b increased..... not sure if 'he' wl actually take up his responsibility as the eldest brother to care for his mother n half sisters esp when 1 of them is pregnant....... i jz pray for everything to b better for their mother.....

yesterday nite, OYL, YSL, LCC n i went to Cafe de Strada for dinner (its suppose to b a bday celebration for OYL n YSL).... i actually knew the owners of tis cafe n 1 of them, Mr Wan, actually asked me a few times since their opening to go over n dine n then give feedback.... unfortunately, during tat time, i was quite bz as i was preparing for exams n went travelling sum more.... so finally yesterday nite, i was there..... the food was ok.... western n oriental oso hv.... but we had western.... the spaghetti carbonara was good, the mango frappes is nice, the environment is good too (better when compared to Harvest In), the price is ok lo but if compare viv Harvest In, then its a little too pricey d..... n additionally, Mr Wan can actually sing!!!! his voice was so good n i was mesmerized by him.... u c.... i like talented guys... esp where the talent is in music..... anyway, i m oni jz fulfilling his request to go n try food.....

tis past week was quite bz as zz went to bangi for training... though there is a relief CSR but i was still very bz.... n sum more i felt so so tired.... everyday oso very sleepy n tired.... jz now after work, i immediately went home to catch a nap b4 i went to meet up viv OYL, YSL & LCC for dinner.... eventhough i nap for 2hrs, i woke up feeling blur n eventually, my tummy is not feeling so good..... 2weeks oredi, i m feeling like tat.... s more hor, for the past few weeks, i hv bcame very gau ciak lo... had lunch at 12.30pm but by 4pm, i oredi feel very hungry..... haih..... so now hv to eat sumthing at 4pm n then go home eat rice..... plus, tis whole week, i oredi broke 2 glasses d..... last sat, i broke a bowl n wed nite, i broke my brother's fav glass...... haih.... dun noe wat is wrong oso...... had a few cuts but nothing serious......

very meaningful

2010-07-21T00:30:00.002+08:00

FRIENDS

Accepts you as you are
Believes in you
Calls you just to say "Hi!"
Doesn't give up on you
Forgives your mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps you
Invites you over
Just to "be" with you
Keeps you close at heart
Loves you for who you are
Makes a difference in your lives
Never judges
Offers support
Picks you up
Quiets your fears
Raise your spirits
Says nice things bout you
Tells you the truth all the time
Understands you
Values you
Walks beside you
eXplains things when you don't understand
Yells when you won't listen
and Zaps you back to reality

TATS WAT FRENS R FOR!!!! CHERISH THEM WHILE YOU CAN...... WHILE THEY CAN DO ALL THE ABOVE FOR YOU, YOU CAN DO THE SAME FOR THEM TOO!!! 5 MUSKS, I LOVE YOU GALS!!!!!

18th of July 2010

2010-07-18T01:24:00.003+08:00

so long update blog liao cos too many things happened n it happened so fast n i was pretty bz after the last post..... last post was a happy post for frens.... but both ppl did not hv a happy ending......

i m no longer an aunty cos she had a miscarriage which oso on the other hand a blessing in disguise cos her husband is cheating outside...... at 1st, she had not wanted the child but after tat, she tot of giving it a try.... but when she had tat decision, she had a miscarriage...... when she told me she did not wan the child, i was curious to noe wat was wrong.... then she was telling bout her husband not being caring enuff to her during tat time...... but the incident, she had another blow..... her husband was lying to her.... or so she said..... infact, it was cheating lo..... he had bcome practically a diff person fr the person she once knew...... he started hanging out at clubs saying tat he got business to discuss abt.... hmmm..... discuss business need to go clubbing? clubs is the worst place to discuss cos its too noisy...... so in other words, he is there to flirt lo not business lo..... or shd i say, selling himself at the club?

anyways, after the clubs incident, came another story.... now he has another gal whom he will fetch everynite to places where most ppl knew he is married n who his wife is...... n he is not afraid of letting ppl noe at all.... worst is, tat gal is staying in the mainland n not the island....... plus, it seems tat tat gal is one of his relative who is much older than he is n not even prettier than his wife!!! bcos of tat gal, now he learns to dress up...... n lately was caught by his wife, hving lots of new clothes n pants!!!! n more lies..... according to him, its business btw them.... but business til the need to dress up n fetch the gal everynite instead of his wife n kid? infact, when his wife caught him fetching the gal, she got down her car n asked him to come down n discuss, he the BLOODY HELL JZ SMILED N DROVE OFF!!!!! WAT THE F**K!!!! guys!!! i jz hate guys like tat.... oredi done wrong n yet, instead of feeling sorry for wat he did, he make his wife feel like she was at fault!!!!!

frankly to say, my dad alwix tell me tat there is nth i can do xcept lending my ears n shoulder to her n not say so much as to break them.... but i really kenot tahan d..... watever she went thru n watever tat scumbag told her was exactly the same as wat my x said n did to me.... but he knew he was wrong when i found out n he cld even come back to beg for my forgiveness..... but its oredi a past.... wat i wan to say is, bcos of wat happened to me, i noe tat going on suffering is jz not a solution..... i really blieve she shd jz wake up n make a decision for herself n her own future n not go on torturing herself like tat..... but watever n however i try to get tis message to her oso its useless..... infact, the other 3 musks oso hv done their part to inform her but she jz let it b.... we r not sure wat she is thinking n wat was it tat is keeping her fr making the rite decision n we r oredi very tired of tokking to her (really sorry to say tis), so we z let her b....... like she told us (sum more to our face) we r not her, WE WUN UNDERSTAND..... so lets jz keep it tat we really dun understand.... when finally she wakes up n realised everything n finally get a grip of her life, she will realised tat the 3 musks was rite......

next up is another sad story to share..... tis best fren of mine is suppose to finally realise 1 of her dream.... marry her bloved...... but a day after the ROM, she announced tat she is cancelling her marriage..... fact is, tis crazy guy finally had the courage to tell her tat after 6yrs of being together, his soul jz dun hv her existance...... n his love for her was gone since tat very day he fell for a fren when he was still studying in sabah, which was 6yrs ago..... meaning to say, for the past 6yrs, he does not love my fren at all..... oni his body likes her..... dun u think he is mad? not oni tat, after a few days of quarreling n trying to get my fren to give another chance, he came up viv another lame n stupid reason for the breakup.... education background problem pula..... he is chinese-ed while we r eng-ed.... he said tat we, the eng-ed dun understand the chinese-ed thinking.... n tat gal tat he likes is chinese-ed n really understand wat he needs n wans, tats y he fell for her..... in other words, he is humiliating the eng-ed ppl for being to open minded!!! F**K man!! my fren gave up so many things for him n tis is how he repays her? oh! n he say tat they hv communication problem due to the education background reason.... he said tat he does not noe how to express his feelings in english n if he express in chinese, she wun understand..... dun u think tat its a lame xcuse?

for the past few weeks since her ROM, i hv heard so many lame reasons tat he gave for being a reason for their diff which led to all tis happening..... n i really feel tat he is really hopeless.... hopeless as in, he is really useless..... his other reasons made me feel tat he is being childish jz bcos he kenot 'luk tai'...... the 2 main reason tat made me so mad is the body n soul diff n the communication n education background thing....... c, all tis comes back to the main problem, GUYS.... they really hopeless creatures.... they r bastards, fools, scumbags n f**king pathetic..... tats y the book title read 'MEN R FR MARS, WOMEN R FR VENUS'.... so when mars meet venus, there r like 'fo sing chong tei kau'..... n viv so many things tats happening around me, i really give up getting myself attached.... being single is so much better... at least, 1stly, i m safe fr all tis unnecessary problems.... plus, viv my past experience, tis is sth which i wld rather not face nor do again.....

n i wld oso like to say:-

annie, i hope u will make the rite decision n not regret..... hoep u will get by all tis obstacles.....

hun, i will alwix support ur decision.....

btoh of u, i will alwix b there for u guys..... remember, nth is more important than putting urself at the 1st priority...... alwix think of urself b4 others...... together we sshall gambateh ne!!!!!!

21st March 2010

2010-03-21T17:41:00.003+08:00

i received a good news fr one of my best frens n i m so so happy for her..... though she does not really like it...... anyhow, she is oso quite happy..... hopefully, everything will change for the better viv tis news...... really hope she can pak tau tou lou lo......

viv tis news coming, i suddenly felt so old..... next yr, i will b upgraded to being an aunty liao..... my god.... aunty lo..... so old..... i hope she will teach her child to address me sister lo.... wakakakaka!!!!!!! but no matter how, i m happy for her.......

there's another news too!!! another one of my best fren's ROM is comfirmed in June 2010..... really happy to hear all tis good news..... 2 more best frens to come...... i hope to hear their's too!!!!!

to the other 4 musks, i m really happy to b part of ur life as a BFF n really happy to hear gd news fr u guys..... we r now stepping into 30s viv marriage n children coming..... i m really happy for u guys..... no words cld explain the happy feeling i felt for u guys..... thanks for being there for me when i needed u guys n thanks for still being here for me too...... though at times, i m very kanasai to b viv n stubborn n pessimistic, thanks for standing by me n tolerating all tis while.... i hope we will still b the best of frens til death do us part...... after marriage n children oso, i will still b there for u guys!!!! love u guys so so much!!!! 5 musks forever!!!!

12th March 2010

2010-03-13T01:44:00.003+08:00

after i hv watched jack neo's press conference, i really feel very pityful towards his wife..... she does not hv to go thru all tis shameful press conference for tis bastard..... frankly, all guys r the same.... they dun use their brain at all b4 they do sth.... if they ever did, the ladies wun hv to suffer all tis stupid press conference n hving to face tis kind of bastards n most of all, hv to forgive him..... i blieve his wife is not comfortable n not really wanted to forgive him.... she oni hv to do tis to 'jaga' his face....

we shall take a diff look at things... let's say the lady is the 1 hving an affair, wat wld others say? n wat will the husband do? but y when the guy hv affair n the lady has to forgive tis kind of bastard? moreover, after all those mistakes hv surfaced, the guys even hv the cheeks to ask for forgiveness.... y wldn't they think of the consequences 1st b4 they do anything? y can't they understand tat their actions n decisons will hurt their loved ones? he once told me tat he wld not tolerate if i m the one hving an affair, but when he did tat, he said tat its fate n tat he cant stop wat was coming n begged for forgiveness..... worst of all, he really wanted me to forgive him n forget all tat..... GUYS!!!! sumtimes, not tat i really wan to hate them but they really dun prove any good to me..... sum frens around me oso faced the same n yet 1 will repeatedly forgive tat bastard..... i do understand tat not being able to let go of such a long relationship but he is such bastard tat since the start of the relationship, he is oredi hving an affair.... oni she doesn't noe..... but according to her, she has oredi forgotten bout all those affairs......... all i can do is hope tat she is really doing the rite thing n decision...... i pray tat he will really keep to his promise not to hurt her n hv an affair anymore.....

n regarding jack neo, i hope his wife will b strong... the humiliation tat she is going to receive n all those tat she has to endure, i really hope she will pull thru..... where as if she cld really make it to the end viv jack, i hope she is making the rite decision when said 'i love jack, i love this marriage n i love my family'.......

frankly, to the new me, i will not go thru all tis again..... lately, viv all tis affairs surfacing fr all those well-known ppl eg. tiger woods, ashley cole n the terry-bridge, i hope all those bastards will learn their lesson..... dun hv to feel sorry for all tat u hv done cos fr the start, u hv oredi chosen the road to no end n a rd tat will hurt ur loved ones......

08th of March 2010

2010-03-09T00:26:00.002+08:00

today, for the 2nd time of the yr, i felt so so so pissed viv my job..... the 1st time was last mon n tues when the auditor, Ms Lim was so unpleasant...... she kept coming to me for the files n reports when i m working alone bcos my partner is on Compassionate Leave...... at 1 point of time, she came to me n put the cards balancing in front of me while i m midway serving a customer n insisted tat i m to find out for her y its not balance ON THE SPOT!!!! if not for my customer to voice out, she din even notice tat i hv customers..... during tat time, there were 15-20 ppl in queue waiting for my counter n they hv oredi waited for more than an hr n oredi very angry.... here comes other ppl to cut queue n tis auditor pula come kacau me viv the balancing....... i was xtremely upset to the point, i almost cried.... i really felt then to tender my resignation..... after tat auditor, came a customer who hv been waiting for almost 2hrs screaming at me for not following queue no pula...... since when did i not follow the queue? all the disturbance was internal...... the most hated thing is she started to compare other banks to us n saying tat other banks give better service la, no queue la.... then y at the 1st place does she wan to still wait for her turn? plus, she said tat other banks give better rates to her, so y wanna still put in our bank? DAMN STUPID!!!!

today, tis is oso the 2nd time my partner did tis mistake n i hv to bear tis together viv her pula...... she issued the a cheque book to a third party who is luckily the husband of the owner..... but case is, the owner is angry y did we give her chq book to her husband.... n her daughter, on the hand n non of her god damn biz, wans to sue us for negligence bcos 8 chqs hv gone thru...... worst is, though the owner kept saying tat she noes its not my fault, she said tat if her daughter insist on sueing us, she wans me, my partner n my abm to foot the bill!!!! WTF!!!! wat does it hv got to do viv me?!?!?!?!?!

lately, a lot hv been happening n i m very very unhappy viv my job n feeling very down n unmotivated..... all i kept thinking abt lately is travelling..... really wan to go travelling n release tension..... though currently planning for s'pore trip in june, i really i can go travelling immediately...... jz wanna leave everything here n go relax...... arghhhhhhhh.....................

28th of February 2010

2010-02-28T18:41:00.004+08:00

i m damn fed up viv sum1's work attitude..... i noe i hv nth to say esp when she has got strong reasons for her absense but every yr oso like tat..... really dun noe she suay or i suay...... y she n her family got so much PROBLEMS!!!!!!!! how much more do i hv to endure her n her many many problems????????? DAMN!!!!!....

she fb msg me telling me tat she hv to compassionate leave tomolo n the next day bcos her husband admit hospital for operation.... n i noe tat i kenot say anything.... but y alwix her n her family? i really tolerated her so damn much oredi!!!!! Y? Y? Y? n she sum more wan to hv another child, the 4th 1..... can sum1 tell me if i shd jz tell it to her face tat she shd not hv another child? tat i really hate her for all her problems as well as her family's? not tat i m inconsiderate, but being considerate n hv tolerance hv its limits...... 3yrs oredi!!!!!! i really wan 'XYZ' now.....

actually i love my job n love working in my current company...... everyday i looked forward to going to work cos its a happy thing..... but, y does she hv to spoil everything???? ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

suddenly, i remembered sth tat sum1 once told me...... its useless to b fretting n complaining cos it will oni bring more of those...... patience will instead put a stop to all tis....... all tis while, i hv been training n practicing patience hoping blieving wat tis person once told me, but looks like its useless...... she is still her.... n her attitude is still the same n will never change....... it got me thinking too, if i choose to b promoted at my current branch, i guess i m still stuck at sq 1 cos when she is on EL or CL or MC, i still hv to go back..... then wats' the point of promoting..... frankly, do i hv a problem or she is the problem? if its her, y isn't my mgt doing anything to solve her? y do they hv to dpend on me to cover her? i hv spoken to my superior bout tis n hoping against hope tat he will help me solve her problem..... but i guess like wat he previously told, he can't do anything cos her leave r legal by law..... her husband/children/herself is really in the hospital......

y sum ppl dun hv the responsible attitude at all? sumtimes, its not tat we really wan to b racist... but these r really facts tat can't b denied..... i blieve every co who hv these ppl working do face tis kind of problems.... but bcos we r in tis country tat we cant say or do anything...... back to my problem, wat shd i do tomolo? jason is no longer viv our branch wef tomolo n my mum xpects me to fetch her back fr work sharp tomolo...... plus, the auditors r here too n its the monday after a long holiday.......

her fb msg:-

Zizie: lu

Lisa: yes
besok EL?

Zizie: how u know

Lisa: dah agak
besok i kena balik awal
kena angkat mak i balik kerja
u pula cam tu

Zizie: u rasa i patut cl x husband i admit.
2mrw dia kena wt operation mata
tapi i kena mi kej jgak pagi pagi kena settle barang atas meja i

Lisa: its up to u to dcide

Zizie: i kena inform u if not u mesti mengamuk sampai 1 offis nampak he he... he

Lisa: i x bleh say no isnt it?
husband admit wor
inform ta inform pun same jagu
*juga
u pun kan CL juga
wat diff does it make?

Zizie: i pun x mintak husband i jadi mcm nie wat 2 do.. suddenly mata left side x nampak. doc kata kalu biar boleh jadi buta

Lisa: jz incase u lupa, besok jason no longer based kat branch kita
then cl la

Zizie: i know. if hsband admit i dpt cl...but u my partner that y i iform u....since i nampk u on line...
tapi esok pagi i mai jgak sekejap. i clear my things first n help u to lipat jounal
i pun dah biasa org cakap..

Zizie: lagipun esok monday.....atlease help u lipat jounal cepat la sikit u buat balancing......

Lisa: wat diff does it make
its a long holiday

Zizie: y u x nak i help u ke

(note the bold n italics...... note how she say tat i will mengamuk..... who wun?!!??!!)

wat diff does it make if she comes back to fold the journals for me? i still hv to work isn't it? folding journals doesn't help me serve less customers...... no matter how oso i still hv to serve customers... no matter how oso i still hv to finish everything b4 i start my balancing...... no matter how oso i still hv to finish all my work b4 i can leave office for home...... then wat time oni i can go fetch my mum? my dad has got meeting after work & my bro has class until 9pm..... n i myself dun even noe wat time i can finish work....... no matter how may holiday trips i take a yr, does not help in cooling me down over tis problems.... out of sudden, i felt like i hv been wasting $$$ on travelling cos it does help me cool down at all...... how nice if i can jz resign fr my current job n do nothing xcept go travelling b4 the world comes to an end like 2012...... then by then i shd die viv no regrets cos i hv been around the world like i hv hoped for...... i do blieve tat when the day comes for me to leave tis problem, i will b a happier me..... at least no need to deal viv tis problem.......

i really kek khi now but still practicing being patience n understanding n considerate...... jz like practicing qigong or taichi....... take deep breathe in n together viv all the 'xyz' breathe out....... repeat a few times til i dun feel so angry...... GOD!!!! really XYZ man!!!!!!!

23rd February 2010

2010-02-24T00:02:00.003+08:00

CNY came n went like there's no CNY at all.... a week b4 CNY, met viv accident n my baby car kena scratched so bad fr the front passenger door to the bumper.... sakit hati lo..... here i shall post the picts....

V-day oso jz came n went like tat nia.... n today, the auditors finally came.... 1st day nia, n i kena til 10.30pm oni finish work..... now so tired n drained..... so hoping i can go traveling now... better yet if i dun hv to work at all..... then i can go traveling wherever n whenever i wan to.......

28th January 2010

2010-01-28T20:58:00.004+08:00

well.... frens will definately scold me for tis blog yet i still wan to write tis down....

today i suddenly came across a piece of news bout him.... he is currently one of the director of CL Chong (BM) Sdn Bhd.... tis is his dream come true cos he had wanted to rebuild his empire..... viv tis, he can start to expand..... no wnder she had the cheek to stare at me last weekend..... after i knew tis, it suddenly came back to me tat he previously told tat i brought him bad luck... n he stuck to her bcos she bring him luck..... it suddenly oso struck me tat no wonder previously, no matter how or wat oso, he will stand by her side.... even when i tried to slapped her for bg such a slut, he pulled me back n hit me even b4 i had the chance to strike her!!!! tis was the 1 thing tat had hurt me to the core n so badly other than breaking up viv him..... i hv never tot he wld do tat to me...... i hv done my best for him n to help him, but it seems like i m jz bg xtremely stupid n silly...... cos no matter how much i did, he was oredi so blinded by her to see n feel wat i did....

post breakup, i m still slowly recuperating..... god noes how much i loved him..... though 2 yrs had past, he is still in my tots sumtimes... its not easy to jz forget everything tat happen btw me n him..... it really does take time...... BFFs, i noe u will definately scold me for tis blog, but tis is really wat's in my heart which sumtimes i cant stop it fr coming out.....

23rd January 2010

2010-01-23T22:57:00.003+08:00

tis week, my partner is on CL yet AGAIN for 3DAYS!!!! n its really really getting on my nerve cos its oni the 3rd week of the yr n tis is the 2nd time liao...... 1st week oredi on MC, 3rd week CL.... i hv oredi made known to my superior bout tis but the oni thing tat he can tell me is 'but her reasons r legal wor, how to warn her?'..... DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!!!! as a superior, when his OIC is like tat, he oso very pik chik..... then wat bout me? i oredi tahan her for 2 yrs oredi....... imagine tis, our entitlement annually for CL is 12days, MC is 30days n Hospitalisation is 60days, tis partner of mine's record for 2009 is CL 12days, MC 27days n Hospitalisation 27days!!!!!! WTH!!!! tis shd b given written warning oredi!!!!!! tis record is oni 2009, in 2008 her MC was 30days oso not enuff, 60days maternity, CL oso 12days!!!!! all tis while oso so bad, oredi an extremely gd reason to warn her or even sack her liao, y no reason to warn her? then wat kind of reason oni can warn her ar? even jason oso kenot tahan her lo.... he was oni here for 3mths nia lo..... no eyes c n no words to say liao... can oni hope for a better yr after CNY..... best is no need to partner her anymore.....

nest up is, the past few days my right eyelid 'thiau' but surprisingly yesterday, my left eyelid actually 'thiau'.... its been a long time since it last 'thiau' n i tot tat it was bcos of my partner.... until today oni did i realised tat actually it meant today i m to c sum1 tat i dun even wan to c.... today is rachel's registration at che hoon moral uplifting society... oyi n i went to fetch her to her make up n then to the society...... u can never imagine tis, 6 photographers!!! they smile n look at cameras til oso dun noe which is which liao...... but overall, a happy occasion..... jz as we were abt to take pix in the hall (there was a banquet decoration), another couple came in to do the same.... jz as i was to walk over to join rac n oyi for pix, i saw tis b**ch...... i did a double take cos i tot i saw wrongly but it was.... until i cfm it was her, i heard her talking to her bride fren n then i m very very sure its her..... she saw me but i jz continue viv taking pix..... until we went out to the mini taman for further pix taking, the same group came too n i saw her leaving very kam cheng type.... saw her went in her 'bloody' car but sat for a moment b4 she left... i blieve she wld hv called him n told him tat she saw me...... i saw her telling her frens bout me cos they looked my way..... but then, it does not matter anymore.... i hv lived my life well for the past 2 yrs post breakup n hv been much happier than then.....

but thinking back, its been a long way since he n i broke up n for the past 2yrs, i hv been travelling a lot as compared to pre-relationship..... n post breakup, i totally dun c a path in my love life at all..... i admit tat when i was viv him, i actually c myslet alone getting married...... after all those sufferings n finally back to being single all over again, i wld rather stay single.... i blieve sum ppl will think tat i m 'pin thai' n dun understand the feeling of not being able to let go, but all i wan to say is tat i wish them all the best..... if they feel tat by me being too straight n they cld not accept, then i hv nth to say..... ppl used to say 'hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil'......... frens to the extent of jz colls will do...... if she is the best advisor n watever she says is very soothing to ur ears, by all means, go ahead n listen to her......

'cam ha ngan' oredi the 3rd week of 2010 liao... 3 more weeks n its CNY liao...... so fast time passes by...... n soon i'll back to classes again.... for tis yr, though a little late, there r a few things tat i wan to do...... 1stly, to complete my CFP by end of the yr.... 2ndly, to slim down even more...... 3rdly, to keep more $$$ so tat i can go travelling..... tis yr's travelling plans r s'pore, mayb redang, genting, cameron, langkawi, hatyai again n if possible, disneyland hk...... but all shall dpends if i m able to...... so far hv oredi been to hatyai tis yr (last sat) n in the mid of planning for s'pore trip.... at least 2 of the listed oredi done..... crossing fingers liao.... hahahaha!!!!!

1ts of January 2010

2010-01-01T15:03:00.002+08:00

its the 1st day of the yr n i m suppose to b celebrating last nite n today. instead, i ended so fired up n feeling like killing last nite n today felt like the end of the world is coming.... y is she like tat? she promised to go back to finish the balancing even if she is on CL but instead TMF told me last nite tat i mz go back to work early on mon so tat i can do all the unfinished job of yesterday's including the balancing..... i really tat she n her family is extremely troublesome..... 2009 is full of problems viv her n her family..... 3 kids oredi very troublesome n yet she had the chick to tell me tat she wan to hv another 1 more child.... PUHLEASE!!!!!! she might as well jz resign n stay at home looking after her kids n then fi she wan to hv more, I DUN CARE!!!! she's been giving me so much problems since she got promoted n i hv oredi 'lun' her til now!!!! F**K man!!! really wonder how she takes care of herself n kids.... y so much problems......

after TMF told me tat, i was so angry til my body temperature oso took a rise n ifelt like killing n screaming n 'xyz' her...... even when i took my bath n din even turn on the heater, the water felt so hot, jz like needles poking my skin.... worst is, yesterday is my bday too n yet she hv to spoil my mood for celebration!!!! Plus it’s the last day of the yr n I shd b happy n celebrating but til today I m still angry n feeling like killing her!!!!!! DAMN!!!! F**K!!!! I really wonder if my management is blind…. Y din they give her warning or threaten to sack her / demote her if she goes on like tat? How can they promote ppl like her when she is alwix on MC/EL/CL? I tot they r suppose to review all tis b4 promotion? The promotion exercise tat I was asked to take up oso got such reviews n even hv to sit for exams!!!! Which is y I m bz revising for the exam next weekend…. Frankly, when the mgt asked to go for interview for csr promotion, I din even wan to tell her wat to b prepared for…. It was sanny who told her so much….. the other day she was telling me tat her husband actually said her for alwix taking MCs n ELs n CLs, n let me hv to ‘chap sau mei’ for her n me thinking she will feel really ‘malu’ over wat she did, instead NO!!! I think her face is even thicker than the teras bumi!!!!

I believe jason oso feel the same like me…. On the 28^th, she was on mc n when I told him tat, he shook his head n sighed…. Later tat day, his mum n brother came n saw him at the counter n so jz asked wat happen…. N when Jason told them tat she is on mc, I heard her brother saying ‘aiyo, AGAIN ar…. Y alwix like tat wan’…. Imagine tat, Jason jz reported for work in October 2009 n in the space of 2mths plus, he can feel wat I hv been suffering all tis while…. So I really wondered if my branch management is either blind or ‘si bak’….. how can they tolerate such ppl?!!!!BLIND BLIND BLIND!!!!!!!!! wonder wat curse she put on them!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!

11th December 2009

2009-12-11T23:48:00.002+08:00

1stly, its abt 19days more to my bday n so i m counting down viv happy moments..... hopefully tis coming 19days leading to my bday is filled viv even more happy moments..........

2ndly, tomolo is my CFP exam n i m so so blank now....... watever tat i studied oredi went blank d..... after tis exam, i hv another test next mth for promotion excercise.... guess wat... for tis stupid promotion excercise test, i hv text tats a thick as oxford to study!!!! really kanasai lo...... was thinking tat i cld relax n njoy my holidays, mana tau got tis mastery test pula..... haiz..................

3rdly, today was rushing to run errands n while getting into my car, the door was opening to wide n so i tried to pull the door, mana tau i felt so painful n when i finally pulled the door closed, oni to realised tat i almost broke my nails n it was bleeding...... the nails n the flesh of my fingers, due to the impact of door opening too fast, actually bended my nails the other way n was torn n so it started to bleed..... tomolo wan to exam liao like tat pula..... now my finger is so numb..... hopefully tomolo it does not get worst til i kenot write.......

4thly, i m so in the holiday mood i dun feel like working at all....... xmas la, my bday la..... so happy lo..... speaking of xmas, i still hv yet to buy xmas present for my coll.... tomolo after exams, i will b meeting oyi n hun to go shopping as well as surveying for our biz......

i shd sign off now liao..... shd go sleep earlier n wake up earlier tomolo morning n prepare for exams....... gambateh ne!!!!

8th of November 2009

2009-11-08T13:40:00.002+08:00

today is not a very good day..... early morning, woke up to the noise of my mum n brother talking..... my bro's car accident yet AGAIN!!!!! he crashed on to the curb n his front bumper n tyre rims all gone..... luckily, he is still ok.... my dad was very angry cos tis yr alone, tis is the 3rd accident oredi....... n wasted so much on repairing the car oredi...... after tat, mum told me tat my grandaunt passed away tis morning at the old folks home...... if not mistaken, she is oredi over 100yrs old..... R.I.P. grandaunt.......

me leh... i m so looking forward to my vacation...... i'll b leaving for macau coming next mon........ been waiting so long for tis trip...... tis yr din go anywhere far...... the oni 1 place tat i've been to tis yr is cameron highlands....... plus, while watching born rich, i felt tat sabah is so so beautiful..... hoping tat i can go there too..... but tis yr oredi too late..... next yr la..... next yr, me wanna go s'pore, hopefully taiwan........ locally, i wan to go malacca, langkawi n sabah....... but then $$$ dun seem to dry at a fast pace....... so everything goes back to $$$ planning 1st then oni c if i m able to go all places..... going macau, i m oredi doubting if the $$$ i taking over is enuff for my use lo...... haiz..... really $$$ not enuff lo..... hahahahaha!!!!!!

30th October 2009

2009-10-31T02:05:00.002+08:00

backache is back again..... tis time, its not the lower back.... its the upper back tat aches.... n i cant twist my body at all...... so painful..... tomolo if got the time, wan to go c dr d.....

15th of October 2009

2009-10-15T18:54:00.002+08:00

i m damn sick!!!! it got worst when i woke up tis morning n suffered whole day sitting under the air-cond tat i start hving headache...... feel so pening now yet i still hv to go sumwhere to settle sth...... though the dr gave a day off tomolo, i m still thinking......

confirmation has been done n it really is his youngest bro...... i tot so though i oni saw him once.... cos tat very 1 time i saw him, he really scared me.... cos he resembles his eldest bro very much..... tat y seeing him again tis time, i was caught by surprised.......

14th of October 2009

2009-10-14T23:51:00.001+08:00

sick.... i m falling sick.... woke up viv a swollen tonsil n sorethroat..... it was so bad tat eating bread for breakfast is like swallowing stones...... by evening, i m starting to sneeze til at nite, my voice starts changing n nose starts to get stuck oredi.... i think in a few days time i will b even worst.......

13th of October 2009

2009-10-14T00:14:00.001+08:00

HEADACHE, HEADACHE & MORE HEADACHE!!!!!!! when will it ever go away!!!!!!!! i feel like i m abt to get sick..... starts hving sore throat oredi.... i think my tonsils r starting to swell....... soon, fever will follow.......

12th of October 2009

2009-10-12T22:17:00.002+08:00

early morning oredi receive bad news, followed by an inconsiderate customer complain n a DAMN busy day n a stupid backache...... bad news is, my partner is on mc AGAIN....... early morning she oredi smsed me to inform me n tat she is very sorry...... then i reach office n being introduced to our new Deposit Sales Officer n being put in charged of him..... was asked to teach him bout products, procedures, workflow n everything tat he is to noe n has connection to his job..... but i told tat guy, jason, tat i dun hv time to teach him so much today as i m working alone today n tat he is to observe wat i do n if he dun understand, to jot it down n then ask me after work..... n i oso told him to get well-versed viv all the product info so tat when i m explaining, he wun b seeing stars.... i noe today he saw stars n up above his head, a lot of ??? signs..... but wat to do.... 1st day nia...... hopefully tomolo my partner comes back to work n then i can clear more of my things liao.....

tis evening, i saw him again..... fr the way he walks, he did look a bit like him..... but i really dun noe if its really him....... who can i ask bout tis? janice? or my godsis's husband?

today is not very good... but then sumbody i admired came n lighten up my day...... he ask bout my partner n y she alwix mc.... n tat he noes i m very bz tats y he normally dun bug me long.... then i told him tat i very tired being tis bz all the time n then he said to me tat he will employ me under his co n i ask when can report for duty, he answered tomolo n then i said go which branch, he said any branch..... make me laugh so much...... customers like tis la good..... at least they r understanding..... sum ppl r very inconsiderate wan..... but then most of my regular customers r very understanding bout my situation.... they noe tat i m very bz wan so they will b very very considerate....... those who alwix complain r non-regulars.......

11th October 2009

2009-10-11T20:29:00.003+08:00

last fri, after work, i went to my next door mini market to get sum titbits for me to munch on while watching.... mana tau, i had another shock..... on wed, while tokking to my godsis's husband, he informed me tat D's brothers r back in the co n now based at pmtg branch (1st shock)..... then fri evening while in car msging my fren for fri nite's outing, i saw D!!! i think its him cos he really looks like him..... i tot i was too sleepy or mayb lately thinking too much bout him tat i had illusions..... is it really him? i dun noe who to ask..... tat guy in turn saw me n then straightaway, face changed n turned away..... at the same time, i scrolled down my window for the hot air to go out, n i heard him tokking.... i tried hard to listen if its his voice but the sound of my engine is much louder.... then i saw tat D's cousin n another staff was looking my way n then his way..... i really dun noe if it is really really him..... i noe he had a gr8 future in Kia n heard tat he is quite good at wat he is doing there.... plus he hates his aunt so much tat i doubt he will come back to work for her lo.... but tis guy really looks like him.......

i noe lately i hv been thinking too much bout the past n him..... i jz dun xpect to c him..... if it is really him, wat will my reactions b? wat will his reactions b? last fri, i buat tak tau lo.... cos i really needed to sms hun n peng's husband to arrange tat nite's outing...... god, wat a time to do tis to me...... if u ask me if i love him, yes i do.... i loved him very very much...... but will i ever get back viv him, nope i wun...... he hurted me too much for me to forget wat he did then....... jz as sum1 told me, i no longer trust guys but myself after wat happened...... whenever i wanna give a try for a relationship, i will start hving tots tat tis guy will hurt me, tat he will cheat on me n tat he will lie to me..... tis is really bugging tat i kenot tahan.... so i opt to stay single for as long as i still hv tis phobia...... hopefully, i will recover......

now looking forward for my macau trip next mth.... hopefully everything goes as plan....... crossing fingers n praying damn hard.....

05th October 2009

2009-10-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

damn!!!! my backache is so bad today til i really kenot tahan d...... went to c the dr but he said he can oni give me painkillers..... took 1 jz now which according to the dr is the highest dosage but i m still in pain now..... i guess i hv to go for massage d.... but i doubt if it can last..... according to old ppl, once hurt, whenever there is rain, the pain will come.... if not mistaken, its called rheumatism...... even the dr i went oso blieve..... tats y he cld oni prescribe painkillers n advise to eat healthily...... hopefully tis pain will go away..... really kenot tahan lo..... sampai my leg oso lenguh oredi.....

tis evening, peng came to visit n brought along her wedding album.... damn nice lo..... $$$ flying sure nice lo.... abo her husband will kek si lo..... time really flies.... tats time when she told me she is getting married, it was barely half yr ago..... mana tau, now she is getting married in a mth's time!!!! finally, the 1st to b married fr the 5 musketeers is peng...... n i guess more to come since we r aging oredi.... its really fun to b able to help out in the process of preparing for marriage..... esp when its for the 5 musketeers sisters...... looking forward to help out viv the rest of the sisters... ahem.... if u guys noe who i meant.... hahahahaha!!!!!

04th October 2009

2009-10-04T22:21:00.002+08:00

woke up today feeling better but as the day goes by, the backache starts to trigger..... woke up early tis morning to travel to sp for my skin specialist appointment which was delayed for a mth plus due to hectic schedule..... headed there n by the time reach, there were so many ppl there queueing up oredi...... ysl n i got no. 34 & 35 which was expected to b around 12pm b4 we get to c the dr...... ate our breakfast at the nearby coffee shop n head back to the clinic to ait for our turn.... we sat there til our no is called n went in to c the dr..... gd news is i can finally stop taking the medicine oredi cos my skin had improved since the 1st appointment.... today the dr even changed my cream to a new course n so i hv to go back to c him again in a mth's time to c if the new course is suitable.......

when we were abt to leave, we saw tat there was a piece of long yellow paper on the windscreen.... when i took it up, i saw tat it was a summon..... KNS!!!! like tat oso kena saman.... tis police really teruk.... we've been there so many times but never once kena saman..... reason for the saman is 'tidak mempamerkan kupon meletak kereta'..... SWT!!! how la r we suppose to noe tat in sp, parking hv to show the parking coupon...... we tot it was like penang where there is an attendant to write receipt..... buta kena saman wan..... plus we dun even noe where the heck is the municipal council so we hv to drive back vivout paying..... tomolo oni go n ask my another coll to help us..... she is fr sp so she will now how to do viv it... plus, will ask her to buy the parking coupon for us so tat next time we r there can display the coupon...... haih.... RM30 for a parking lesson.... kanasai!!!!

02nd of october 2009

2009-10-02T17:50:00.002+08:00

oredi 1 week liao having backache...... now walk oso satu macam d...... sum more hv to walk slower than usual.... sampai regular customers oso realised n asked wat happened....... haiz....... how i miss tat sum1 who wld massage my back for me back then...... haiz..... anyway, in 2 weeks to come, it marks the 2nd anniversary of a dreadful ending.... cant blieve how time flies so fast...... n pretty soon, i m leaving for macau.... really cant wait lo...... so i m crossing fingers n praying damn hard for my backache to b cured.......

28th September 2009

2009-09-28T20:16:00.003+08:00

haiz..... been xtremely bz lately viv so many things to do yet so little time...... very tired of working life.... really cant wait for my macau trip...... tired til writing title oso i type November..... u c la... i really pening d.... earlier tis mth, went to cameron for a 2D1N viv colls..... the air there is jz so refreshing.... pg air really kenot compare lo..... pg air is so polluted, even in office oso..... lately a lot of disagreements in the office fr all directions n i m getting really tired..... plus, my class started oredi n i felt very tired..... 2nd class oredi n i fell asleep in the class!!! haih...... oso, tis mth work oso very bz cos my partner on mc for 3 weeks as she was admitted to hospital for her sinus n after tat was raya oredi..... today she is finally back n i can finally start to clear up my mountain high backlog..... last fri while working alone, my backache suddenly came n it attacked so suddenly tat i was rooted when it attacked..... n not oni once but many times til i kenot tahan n started limping around the office..... my x-manager saw me in so much pain n he advised me to go swimming as it will help my backache...... hopefully i can finish all my backlog n start going for my swimming n massage n badminton...... really in need to excercise lo...... lately been getting fatter..... haih.......

lately, i've been stung by the memory of the past n even dreamt of them..... a past which was supposed to b buried n forgotten but as the memory came, those sad feelings came flooding back.... recently, i found out tat he no longer works in pg island.... he is now in juru n very successful in his job.... customers luvs him for his knowledge in his profession..... its a gd thing cos tat was wat he had wanted.... recognition...... he once told me tat he worked so hard then at the previous company n attended every training given by the company n in the process, kinda 'ignored' me during tat time is for tis recognition n for our future...... though he finally did it for his career, he lost out in relationship viv all those lies n hurt he did to me...... nevertheless, he had nth to lose oso cos he had another viv him too..... he mz b sharing his joy viv her.....

anyway, i dun hv any regret for breaking up..... at least, i put a stop to all those hurt n lies n moved on..... n cld b bcos of him, now i prefer to stay as i m now...... whenever i tot of giving myself a chance in luv, i will b bugged down by questions if he is being true to me, if he is cheating on me, if he really luvs me for who i m.... tis tots bugged me so much tat i felt so insecure n in the end, i choose to stay single..... so my status now shd read as being single but not up in the market....... insecurity really kills me.... so, sorry if i ever hurt any1 viv tis decision..... frens r being quite supportive, listening to me when i needed them....... thank u so much........ oni time will erase all tis fr me...... pls bear viv me.......

sad over inconsiderate ppl......

2009-08-31T21:04:00.002+08:00

congratulations to andy n carol for finally being able to publicly announce their relationship.... its a pity to both of them as they suffer hving to hide their love for each other..... 24yrs is damn long lo...... as i read more n more of fans reply to his announcement, i feel real sad cos they were being very selfish to andy..... yes, they adore him n 'pray' him like a god but he is oso a human...... come on.... u need love n so does him...... he is going to be 48yrs old tis yr n its more than about time to get married d lo........ leave andy n carol alone la..... let them enjoy their new life together.....

though i m not a great fan of andy but lately reading bout him n carol makes me so sad..... sad tat most of his fans r so inconsiderate of his being...... he loves carol but for fear of rejection fr his fans, he had kept tis a secret for 24yrs..... as a gal, she shd hv her recognition oredi la..... most of andy's fans r gals, so u shd understand tat hving recognition as ur guy's wife is very important..... so give ur blessings to them instead of giving them so much trouble..... afterall, she is oredi pregnant.....

7th of July 2009

2009-07-07T20:35:00.002+08:00

really dun noe wat to say bout her..... monday MC, today EL, tomolo EL, thurs i bet i oso EL n fri AL!!!! WTF!!!!! n when i wan to apply leave for monday to take my mum do things, my idiot ABM dun allow cos its a replacement holiday!!!! Fri is oso a replacement holiday wat, y let her take leave? my previous ABM wld not approve leave on days like tat wan lo so as to b fair to the other person as well...... now i m so fed up viv work n life n pik chik n TL!!!!! damn TL lo!!!! its oredi July n i still hv not dcided where to go for a holiday yet...... be it far or near, i dun mind..... really jz wan to go sumwhere tat i can relax n forget abt work...... i m damn tired!!!!

23rd of June 2009

2009-06-23T23:25:00.002+08:00

haih...... yesterday i was feeling very undecided n its all bcos of wat my ABM told me..... he told me abt a new post in the branch n asked me to apply for it...... Deposit Sales Officer..... selling deposit products..... but the moment i heard sales, its plastered all over my head n i was put off by tat dreadful word....... in terms of knowledge, i noe i m capable of taking up the post but sales????? if i wan to do sales, earlier on i wld hv applied for BSE d la...... prob is i hv never been interested in sales.... sales is never my rice bowl....... i prefer paper work than sales....... i was so so so undecided tat i wan to go crazy d...... whole day i was calling frens n colls for opinions.... n wat i can summarised is its a mixture of opinions...... sum say its a gd thing...... most say i shd think over very carefully n seriously......... at one point of time, i really tot i can do it n built enuff confident to take up the offer..... but reached home n my parents says no...... they checked viv my aunt n she oso feel tat its not a gd thing..... sales is related to targets n if i cant meet the expectations, i m doomed!!!! fact is, its oso 1 of the points tat i m worried abt...... the other is networking........ haih.....

today went to office very sure wan to reject the offer d but when i tried telling my ABM, he still insist tat i take up the offer...... he said tat he is very very confident tat i will make it thru but fact is, i dun even hv the confident in myself...... i can feel tat he is trying to brainwash me to accept the offer...... now i m still bogged by tis n really cant think of a gd way to tell politely tat i really dun wan to accept....... when he insisted, i asked abt the consequences of not meeting the expectations n he cld not even give me any assurance..... he can oni say tat he will support me..... i cant afford to lose my job u noe n sales is definately not in my league.... like keing hua said, i rather b the 1st in the 2nd class than b the last in the 1st class........ haih........... fan lou................. i m oredi very very sleepy n tired n add 1 more fan lou to me......

now i really wan to go n sleep d..... watever it is, leave it to tomolo.... afterall, its no hurry...... not tat they were given any dateline..... i will try my best to get the message to my ABM...... wish me luck!!!

16th of June 2009

2009-06-16T19:37:00.002+08:00

tis noon, there was a snatch theft in front of my office..... tis 2 malay guys on a motorcycle, snatched a chinese lady's bag n ran away but unfortunately, the lady screamed very very loudly n everybody who heard her ran after tat motorcycle..... u really cant imagine it.... within seconds, a pajero crashed the motorcycle to ground n there was a group of 20-30 ppl crowding around the motorcycle n beat up the 2...... helmets, wood, steel fr nearby rubbish bin cld b seen at the seen...... the crowd comprises of those who happen to b hving lunch nearby n heard n most of them r malays oso..... according to my boss, who oso went there to kaypo, those who beat up the 2 was heard saying tat its a disgrace to them, the malays...... n the 2 oso kena very teruk lo....... imagine 20-30 ppl crowding ard u to beat u up..... one person 1 time nia oso teruk lo..... but then was 1 person dun noe how many times lo..... when i walked near the window to c time, i saw the 1st person guy to hit viv a helmet, hit them many times lo...... sum more kick leh..... but then, padan muka oso wan la..... of all profession, y choose to b a snatch theft? u noe, how many of them led to the death of their victims? esp pregnant ladies? i can still recall 1 case tat happen in JB where tat bloody fool snatch thief snatched her bag n when she struggled viv them, they kicked her motorcycle n she fell...... n she is 8mths pregnant...... imagine the trauma her husband will go thru...... plus, my coll's aunt oso bcame a snatch thief victim rite in front of her hse..... n tat snatch thief kicked n beat her up...... sad to say tis is malaysian...... the economy is bad n most ppl r out of jobs but tis is not wat u shd choose to do....... haih.....

12th of June 2009

2009-06-12T20:23:00.002+08:00

tis evening, received a msg fr a fren tat a schoolmate of mine had passed away due to heart problems...... really sad to noe tat..... she n i were once close frens during primary school n remembered tat she told me b4 regarding her situation..... then she lept on telling me tat she will leave 1 day n i of cos told tat it will not happen..... but tat was long time ago...... i guess she had lived her life to the fullest all tis while fearing tis day will come..... Siew Lee, we will miss u n may u rest in peace.........

11th of june 2009

2009-06-11T13:15:00.003+08:00

wanna share a meangingful quote tat i read in my email.... brings back a lot of memories for me.....

"never break 4 things in ur life - trust, promise, relation n heart bcos when they break, they dun make noise but cause a lot of pain"

i hated ppl who breaks the 4..... in the past, he broke each of the 4 over time.... one by one he broke me into pieces..... he made promises but never keep them though i m so foolish to still blieve tat he will still keep his promises to me... n tats y i hurted so badly.... but now, its all buried 6ft underground...... no longer trust ppl, no longer blieve promises made by others...... all tis is to guard myself against the pain n hurt tat i dun wish to go thru again...... i've learnt to b selfish for myself...... selfish to protect myself.......

03rd of June 2009 - 2nd half

2009-06-04T00:37:00.002+08:00

jz got back fr the rehearsal at EQ n luckily the day ended up nicely....... we were told to b there at 7 but i was a little late as i reached home at almost 6pm n hv to rest n bath n then travel there....... but when i reached there was no 1 there yet.... oni the kids n their parents n sum staff nia...... n we sat there until he(RD) came n everything starts to roll....... n he was very precise today going thru one by one n commenting 1 by 1....... so by the time its our turn to dance, it's oredi 11++pm!!!!! guess how sleepy i was considering tat we had sat there since 7pm n oni get to dance at 11pm!!!!! now as i m typing tis, my eyes r closing yet still on msn call viv a fren...... plus.... today dun noe wat wrong viv my dance partner, he danced wrong during our tango......... n he was non stop apologising to me....... u noe, today RD requested to record our rehearsal for the making of the AD 2009 to b presented to Tan Sri n i noe everybody is very kin cheong cos they dun wan to do any mistake during the recording...... luckily both of us r rite at the side where the camera cant c us..... haha!!!!! after the dance n when we went to the side, he was non stop apologising for the wrong step n then kept on laughing................. haih..................

oh ya..... jz now the usherettes came to try their clothes n guess wat....... their red dress to b worn on friday morning when welcoming Tan Sri at the hotel is damn sexy man!!!!! they were asked not to wear bra inside as its low back............... n u noe la..... ysl non stop complaining lo..... but there was 1 gal who wore it the best!!!! she is damn sui lo........

now my feet is hurting cos i was not used to wearing boots........... my toes hurts the worst......

03rd of June 2009 - A BLOODY IDIOT DAY FULL OF FRUSTRATION!!!!!!

2009-06-03T17:48:00.002+08:00

as the headers says it, today is a bloody idiot day full of frustrations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I M DAMN FRUSTRATED N ANGRY N I REALLY CLD KILL!!!!! early in the morning, tat ms ch'ng come find fault viv abt yesterday's case n kept insisting tat its my mistake which got me so boiled up n frustrated viv anger tat i cld not even finish my breakfast...... then came my partner pula..... i told her to b sharp to reach office at 12.30pm fr lunch as i hv to travel to pulau tikus for a short course but tis idiot came back at almost 1, i m hv to rush to pualau tikus n summore take my lunch!!!! plus, 2 other coll fr other branch is following my transport.... after the course, as i was travelling back, she called to informed tat her maid ran away during lunch n tat she's gotto take 2 days of EL, tomolo n fri, to settle her stuff cos nobody to care for her children!!!! then wat abt me? i m going for rehearsal tomolo n fri as well n i hv requested to leave work early so tat i hv time to rest b4 the rehearsal n granted!!!!! now tis!!! then wat time oni i can go back if she is not working? who is going to finish up the things for me? FYI, I M NOT PAID OT FOR THE REHEARSAL U NOE..... N NOT GIVEN TIME OFF FOR THE LOST SLEEP WAN U NOE!!!!! I M OREDI VERY VERY TIRED DUE TO NOT ENUFF SLEEP TIS PAST FEW DAYS N SUM MORE WORRIED BOUT MY STUDIES!!!!! I KNEW TIS IS GOING TO COME TATS Y I OSO INSISTED TAT I DO NOT WAN TO PARTICIPATE IN THE STAFF PERFORMANCE AT THE 1ST PLACE..... SO NOW HOW? I HV TO ENDURE TIS ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F**K!!!!!

I ONI I CLD KILL, THE 1ST TO B DEAD IS MY DAMN PARTNER N THE 2ND IS MS CH'NG...... PLUS NEXT YR ONWARDS, NO MORE STAFF PERFORMANCES N THEME AWARDS N ALL TAT KIND OF THINGS OREDI...... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! DAMN TIS LIFE N TODAY!!!!! I BET TONITE IS NOT GOING TO B A GD NITE FOR ME AS WELL....... ALL STARTED VIV TAT F**KING MS CH'NG!!!!!!!!

2nd of june 2009

2009-06-02T20:21:00.003+08:00

jz came back from the dance rehearsal at YMCA...... today our skirt is finally here n its...... not nice...... its so bulky n heavy.... n guess wat, our top is a corset..... haih..... i wan to pengsan d..... jz now sum more ask me to try the corset cos wanna take my measurement..... fact is, i cant even fit into tat corset....... haha!!!! how i wished i dun hv to dance mana tau, the trainer said tat i will wear a tube inside n the will pin the corset for me pula....... means tat no matter how oso kena pakai d lo..... haih............... plus, my partner commented tat my skirt is too 'phong' for him to stand bhind me closely which is the directive of the trainer n he laughed..... KNS!!!!! i oso felt so... the skirt very kembang lo cos they sew the nettings bneath..... and its not jz 1 nettings..... its a lot!!!! the skirt is 5kg in weight!!!!! can u imagine tat? its equivalent to a packet of rice...... n our dress is black in color..... though the nettings r colourful......

after the dance, i was down viv bad headache n i felt like hitting my head to the wall..... the headache is really driving me to the walls...... even as i m typing tis, my head is throbbing..... tonite mz rest early cos tomolo nite onwards my dance practice is at nite..... our full dress rehearsal is on thurs n fri on actual stage........ i blieve we will overcome watever tat comes our way within tis 3 days for the best performance on sat nite..... wish me well guys!!!! oh ya..... wish tat i n D***** will stirke sum spark!!!!! wakakaka..... jz joking..... afterall, i was kinda hoping tat a dream o mine will come true....... hehehe!!!!! cross fingers............. haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

29th of May 2009

2009-05-29T23:19:00.002+08:00

so fast oredi come to the end of may d..... n dinner is next weekend..... i m starting to feel nervous...... nervous if i will hv stage fright on the real day n make mistake..... 1st rehearsal on wed nite for razak dali (RD) to qc n i wore the boots tat i newly bought on tues nite.... n sufferred toe ache after the 1st rehearsal b4 RD came..... n i changed to my comfy white 'mousy' flats n the 2nd rehearsal was perfect...... i cld not do a split viv the boots at the surface n my rubber soles does not go viv each other...... i end up stuck halfway splitting n fell to the side...... the 2ns rehearsal was better after changing shoes.... at least my feet dun hurt anymore..... n i did the split nicely n gracefully compared to the 1st....... when it came to tango..... 1st time ard, he was ok..... 2nd time, he crashed on me so hard even harder than last thurs' rehearsal at YMCA..... so i told him tat if he were to crashed on me so hard on the real day, i will fall off the stage d n he laughed n apologised.....

next week, will b practicing fr tues onwards...... i bet i m going to hv a hell of time considering tat i will not b having enuff sleep...... luckily, i m on leave from 9th onwards for a week for exam preparations...... lately..... i felt tat i hv been dreaming of my dance partner too much...... dun noe y oso...... ada saja mimpi nia...... funny funny 1s oso hv...... romantic 1s as well..... how come i dun dream of the guy tat i like to c in the dance group ar? hmmm........ hope tonite will dream of him la..... hahahaha!!!! anyway, wish me well for the coming week til the real day.... pray tat i dun do mistake..... hope everything goes well be it rehearsal or the real day...... pray tat i will overcome tis stage fright feeling in me...... gambateh, pg region 1!!!!!!!!

23rd of May 2009

2009-05-23T12:04:00.002+08:00

hv u read the news today? well.... i read n came across a stupid remark by the BN to the PKR..... BN is asking PKR to accept the court's decision on BN's winning of the MB post in Perak...... dun u think BN r suppose to accept the court's 1st decision tat PKR is the legal n riteful MB??? did they accept the fact? NO!!!! they filed an appeal n now tis stupid 2nd decision n such funny remark by them..... all tis while i dun really like politics n never read abt it..... but since last yr's elections where PKR won in PG, i started to look out for their progress...... n now viv the Perak crisis, i read more..... but all tis fightings r really getting to me n felt it a nuisance....... n after so long, i felt tat the best solution to all tis is to hv a fresh election for Perak alone to c who will win instead of all tis court appeals n fightings n giving funny remarks...... i felt tat the sultan shd dissolve the assembly n push for a fresh election instead of 'zhau sau pong kun'....... the ppl chose their most trustable politician to help them improve on their well beings n not indulge in tis kind of fights...... since all tis catfights started, i m sure a lot of the ppl's interest hv been left hanging.... y? bcos they cld not even b sure who is the legal n riteful MB!!! y can't BN accept the fact tat PKR won the elections last yr? tis is not sporting at all..... wat is more important r the ppl's interest...... i bet not oni the Perak ppl r getting bored viv all tis catfights, the rest of the ppl r oso getting bored!!!! i can still remember wat Zubedy wrote on 26th of February to all the politicians... i hope he can do the same again for the perak ppl...... i m really sick of all tis catfights btw the top posts n the ppl's interest r all hanging n undone for...... if its tis way, y election? y politicians? might as well the ppl do everything on their own n do away viv all the politicians...... its embarassing to tell ppl tat i m fr m'sia n all abt the best of m'sia when all tis is happening....... ppl abroad look to us for we can hse multi races n still stay united but now? no wonder youngsters of m'sia nowadays r more towards migrating...... i dun deny tat i oso think the same......

i hope all tis ends n gd things will start...... really sick of reading newspaper viv all tis catfights in it....... plus, i m jz voicing my opinion..... i dun mean to hurt anyone...... it had been kept in me for so long n today's article jz hit the spot to voice out......

21st of May 2009

2009-05-21T22:43:00.002+08:00

started the week not wanting to continue viv the dance practice as i realised tat i cld not finish revising for my exams next mth..... but when i told my abm my wish, he told me off n tat i can manage both...... i m worried tat i may not get thru tis round as its getting tougher n i can feel it..... but i really cant do anything d except accepting tis fact..... next yr, i will make myself clear tat i will not attend the dinner d..... easier..... n if i fail my exam tis round, i will never heed anything he ask me to do d.....

anyway, back to the dance practice...... last thursday, i was supposed to go to EQ for a rehearsal for the PAD director to c but i fell sick.... so sick tat even awake, i felt very dizzy..... i was on mc tat day so i did not attend the rehearsal..... mana tau tis monday during practice, i was told tat they had change the grand finale steps!!! pening liao... meaning all tis while we hv been practicing the wrong steps.... haih..... plus, last thurs, the rest had practiced at EQ.... so those who din attend missed everything.... so hv to learn again....

the usherettes were ask to go to RM office as well on the same day to take their body measurement for their dress as well as a briefing viv ms chong.... when there is so many ppl there, one the male dancers did a very very malu thing..... he was carrying his partner to the other side of the hall so tat she dun need to run later to get in place for tango.... mana tau, he fell down after 2-3 steps carrying her..... all of us stopped to c them, shocked!!! luckily nth happened.... n it was so malu as everyone was there staring..... hahaha!!!!

i was given off on tues as my partner was to attend court hearing for a case for PBB n i heard tat sth funnier happenned..... while dancing, dun noe which idiot farted n it was so smelly tat everybody stopped halfway n quickly rushed for the window to get fresh air..... according to my coll who went, she said it's so smelly tat she felt like vomiting..... really wondering who wld hv done it man!!!!

wed practice was like usual n khomar quite satisfied though he felt tat all of us were so sleepy n tired.... he played the grand finale song n asked us to dance freestyle but everybody was stunt n jz stood there looking at him, who was so in the mood for dancing..... then, he said tat he felt all of us r still very shy towards each other even after so many weeks dancing to together.... but fact is, yes.... most of us still hv the shy feeling...... wat to do? haih....

today, we had a combined rehearsal at YMCA..... everybody was there n i was panic n shaking as there were 100 over ppl there..... never danced b4 in front of so many ppl..... luckily after it started, i felt better n got over tis feeling..... n while doing the half split, i mz hv done it wrong cos i sprained my ankle.... the 1st time, it was not so as it was jz normal pain..... the 2nd time around got worst n my ankle started to swell..... n, while hving to deal viv the pain, my dance partner pula came to position too fast tat he crashed towards me during the 2 times rehearsals n i almost fell.... luckily he was fast emuff to pull me back or i really fall d.... then he kept apologising..... the 1st time ok la cos my ankle not so bad ma..... the 2nd time, he crashed towards me harder than the 1st time n viv my painful ankle, i was lagi wan to fall..... oredi so unbalance due to balancing on 1 leg.... haih.... my dad jz massaged my ankle for me nia n hope tat it will b better tomolo..... i m thinking if i can drive to work tomolo as i m driving a manual car.... hmmm...... any volunteers to b my driver? nah.... nobody wld wan to go to tis extend for me wan la..... who m i wor?..... i m myself n i m single...... no life partner to care for lo...... but i m not worried cos i noe i will b strong for myself....

07th of may 2009

2009-05-07T21:05:00.002+08:00

today had my dance practice viv a visitor.... our trainer's leader came to check our dance practice is up to which level.... n she is such a bloody idiot tat zam n i hated her so much..... i bet the rest oso felt the same..... anyway, we practiced in front of her n she was pin-pointing our problems n wan us to dance like a professional.... but f**k, we r NOT professional!!!!! we r bankers!!!! but then, we cant say a word so jz hv to follow like a lamb..... we danced n danced n danced til she is satisfied but luckily, she did not pin-point at our dance so much compared to the 1st group... the 1st group kept on forgetting their steps n our trainer oso very frus viv them.... though they made it thru viv mistakes, the leader was not very nice.....

worse of all, when ppl start concentrating on my doings, i will start to panic n do wrong.... n i did when she was looking at our tango..... i danced wrongly n my partner, daniel was asking wat i m doing n y i skip step..... i jz replied tat i was being panic..... but he was nice enuff to support me back n i start to calm down a bit.... luckily he was there when i was panic.... if not, i sure kena scolding d..... oh ya!!! today, our trainder add the last step to our can can dance.... n wat was it? its a split!!!! asked us to half split on the stage at the end of our dance n for tat split which tat idiot leader is not satisfied viv esp when one of us kept holding her skirt up when we r suppose to leave it down.... until she did it rite, we hv to repeat spliting.... split til my left knee oso bruised d..... haih..... so ko lian lo...... next week still got sum more lo.... die liao la.......

06th of May 2009

2009-05-06T23:27:00.002+08:00

the past few weeks since my last blog had been very very hectic for me... so much to do n yet so little time to fit all in my schedule.... 1stly, my leave for may was rejected xcept for 15ht which i forcefully insist on getting it approved..... 2ndly, the dreaded event of the yr is finally here n will b graced by our bloved Tan Sri Chairman on 6th of june at none other than The Equatorial hotel..... i did not wan to attend at 1st but was forced by the mgt n so i gave in thinking i will attend halfway n then leave early.... manatau, 3rdly, i was chosen to take part in the staff performance!!!! i did not wan to but i was given no choice.... i was ordered to take part even when i rejected n so landed myself dancing during tat dreaded nite!!!! luckily, they asked zamnah to accompany me.... n so we went for the practices n tis is wat we r doing......

its an 8min dance viv 5 diff songs n 4 groups of ppl dancing....

Group 1 : Wild Wild West comprises of 5 gals n 5 guys
Group 2 : Can Can Gals comprises of 14 gals (i m 1 of them)
Group 3 : Guitarist comprises of 6 guys
Group 4 : the 'lalat's comprises of 5 guys

group 1 will dance 1st viv their partners n their dance was tot to b very difficult as a lot of steps viv hands n legs to b remembered.... manatau, today we had a mini rehearsal n guess wat.... among the 5 songs, ours is the worst though very enjoying..... our song is the fastest n the most steps esp concerning the feet..... n we have to wear skirt tat is so long cos we hv to shake the skirt around for the whole song n its xtremely flair..... the followed by 'el-taro' n then spanish flee where we hv to shake-a-bon-bon a lot n i cant do it..... n then the last song will b the tango..... at 1st, we tot, group 1 is the oni group viv couples dancing, manatau, tango oso same..... n my partner is a guy fr pg main n he was my coll's partner last yr too!!! n the tango steps r even worse as it involves a lot of leg twisting n the 1st day, i dun even noe wat i was dancing... even my partner oso ask me..... but i went home n practice twisting at the same spot n improved the next day..... he was surprised tat i did.... wakakaka!!! abo sure very pai seh wan.....

my coll did sth funny viv her partner during tango n our trainer commented.... her partner stood very far away fr her (though holding hands) while she twisting n the trainer said tat the gal wun eat u wan n tat the guy mz stand near the gal like stuck to each other like tat n next, everybody's partner did jz tat..... i almost fell to the front when my partner did tat.... but after so many days of practice, i think we got our steps rite n now dance better.... the oni prob is our can can dance n spanish flee wan.... kept on forgetting steps nia..... so worried n pressured as the Public Affairs' director will b here next thursday to c our rehearsal n we r still not gd enuff....

plus, for the dance practice, i m currently working half day everyday until 2pm n then i hv to head down to main branch for practice.... 1 of my coll said to me tat i was paid to snake..... its true lo..... paid to practice dancing instead of working...... i wonder if other co does tis....... ppl go dinner to enjoy n get together viv the other staff but ours is totally diff..... beauty pageant la, theme awards la, staff performance la, choir la..... haih....... those who hv been to c our dinner will noe wat i m trying to say..... n i hope tis will b the last time i m doing tis for dinner..... i oni wan to attend dinner where i can sit down n enjoy the food n get together viv frens....... if not, i wun wan to attend......

pls forgive me if i did not update my blog cos i will b very bz until the dinner n my exams is over in june...... everyday oso bz n by the time reach home oredi very tired n sleepy to blog d......

21st of April 2009

2009-04-21T23:28:00.002+08:00

its been a mth plus since i last blog.... had been very very bz viv other things n appointments..... when i m free, i will b catching up on my lost sleep..... til now, i m still very tired n sleepy..... i noe i can alwix take leave to rest but i wanna save my leave for yr end usage.... me wanna go shopping in kl... plus was thinking of going around m'sia for short travel..... n still thinking n planning....

since the last blog, i had been thinking...... n i guess its jz a memory in me now..... 16th tis mth marks the 2nd anniversary of the worst fight we had which left bruising n in the state of pain n shock, all-in-1........ though i no longer felt the self destruction pain which i felt a yr ago but the memory remains..... n bcos of tis, the memory instilled the habit of being wary of my surroundings n lost interest in relationships..... i hv hoped b4 tat i wld settle down sumday but now, i no longer felt the same.....

my mum esp is starting to worry for me as i m alwix at home n not out getting to noe more frens... i hv bcome very reserved n alwix-at-home person..... haih...... my life..... if oni i can end it rite now, i wld b happier.........

19th of March 2009

2009-03-19T23:29:00.003+08:00

its been a yr n a half later n now, a fren known fr the past gave me another news...... she met him n asked bout us...... he told her tat we r still a couple n tat due to sum misunderstandings, we r currently apart for sumtime...... he oso told her tat i will alwix b in heart even after so many things........ if it was a misunderstanding, isn't he suppose to explain n then not repeat the same mistake? but he did not, so wat's the use of saying tat i m still in his heart? if i m still in his heart, y is he still viv her now? no matter how oso its oredi a past..... n i had left tat long ago...... even if he comes back after settling everything, it is oredi too late for getting back...... watever tat i went thru during the 2nd yr of relationship after finding out will forever b in my mind n heart n will leave a deep scar...... tis is to remind me of how foolish i had been to blieve tat he will turn back for me...... even now tat he still insist tat we r still together, it will not change anything in me anymore....... i oni felt tat he is jz covering himself by using my name which will add the work 'jerk' to his strings of nicknames......

bcos of tis past, i will forever b watchful over my relationships........ i felt tat i dun easily trust ppl ard me anymore n tat i shd take care of myself 1st...... i felt like i had bcame very selfish over my concerns........ i hope i will recover from all tis.... lately, i kept having visions of the moment when he tried to stranggle me so tat i wld stop screaming when fighting viv him....... i wld rather he stranggle me to death then.... at least now, i wun b having tis kind of disturbing visions.......

11th of March 2009

2009-03-11T21:23:00.002+08:00

i received an email which was quite interesting today..... let me load it here n share viv u....

02nd til 9th of Mar 2009

2009-03-07T19:19:00.003+08:00

03rd Mac 2009

well.... sth funny happened.... the whole day i hv been receiving a call fr the same no but i was quite bz during working hrs tat i cld not answer.... until after work n at home, i finally answered the call oni to find out tat the other person on the line is looking for a Ms Koay..... so i replied her tat there is no Ms Koay here n tat she had called the wrong no.... she went blank n blur n then apologize n hang up....... i oso felt weird for a person to call n ask to speak to another person thinking tat tis lady may hv been keeping the old records of an old fren.....

n today n yesterday was quite bz for us all.... viv so many account openings n so many things to follow up on..... phone calls non-stop oso..... haih..... its recession time n many factories r on 4days work system which led to the staff hving off day to come to the bank..... previously, they will hv to take leave or come during their lunch break n tats when the most complain comes in oso cos they r in a hurry n come on.... its lunch break.... if u can think of coming to the bank, everybody else oso do the same!!!!!!! but tis budheads dun think tis way n so file complaint lo n who r the ones suffering? us the working ppl lo... who else?? tats wat happens when ppl dun think of others but themselves....

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4th of Mac 2009

LKH came when i was abt to leave for my lunch n asked if hv change my contact no..... i was surprised by tat question n asked y.... he replied tat his staff called me but i answered tat there was no such person n it got me thinking of the nite b4 when i answered tat particular phone call...... so i laughed n told him tat i did say tat last nite when answering a call n tat it was bcos, tat lady asked to speak to a ms koay..... n he looked at me n asked if my surname was correct n y i said tat, n if it was bcos it has no caller id.... i replied tat it was not bcos it has no caller id cos it cld b my other frens whom i had lost their or did not save their no n tat my surname is khoo n not koay..... then he started to laugh..... he was at the counter then n my coll overheard our conversation n started to laugh oso...... she said to him tat he got no heart tats y wrongly remembers my surname..... n i bet he save my name as koay in his phone as well!!!! LOL!!! haih..... khoo n koay is very big diff lo..... last time, another lady customer addressed me as ms khor which i tot oredi quite funny d.... but now, out of sudden she remembers my name corretly even w/out me telling her..... LKH ar..... haih..... let me laugh non-stop for the day n the days after......... gd memory......

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5th Mac 2009

LKH came viv his mom to open account..... i was abt to go out for my lunch oso but since tat he oredi sat in front of me n my partner asked me to do for him, i did n yakked a bit viv them..... YGL came as she was asking me wat's for lunch n tat LKH got no heart to wrongly remember surname n tat he shd treat me for a meal..... he was so pai seh n laughing non-stop n agreed tat he shd treat me for a meal to 'pou seong'...... while opening account for both of them, his mom was non-stop advertising him saying tat he is a filial son n tat he is very good n etc.... non-stop man!!! n he was so pai seh listening to his mom saying so much....... but too bad, he is oredi married.... oh ya! tis is the 1 thing tat i did not blog here since finding out as i was too bz..... well.... thanks to my 'itchy' hand n wan-to-noe nature, i searched by his name on yahoo n came across a blog written by his wife..... went thru the blog which was full of pictures fr dating to marriage n trips abroad...... dun worry... i was not heartbroken but felt happy for him nia lo..... so u c.... i was jz looking at him nia.... nth much.....

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6th of Mac 2009

nth much to say bout work as nth much happened..... i oni wanted to tat i was looking forward to model for my best fren while learning to pose for my upcoming studio shoot..... had earlier planned to photoshoot tomolo (7th) but bcos my mum request me to take her for her medical check-up, so i had changed to sun(8th) instead...... plus my cousin sis is coming tomolo nite so i will hv a lot of things to...... no plans time, apa pun tak dak..... got plans time, everything oso come at the same time..... haih.....

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7th of Mac 2009

i was so sleepy as i slept late yesterday..... went karaoke viv colls til almost 4am!!!! actually, my coll who fetched me there promised to put me home early as she noes tat i hv to start my day early today.... but bcos we were nosy n wan to c who sent NWT those flowers, we waited n waited for him to come...... haih.... tis morning, woke up early as i gotto fetch my mum to INTI to register my bro for the degree course..... then head to the clinic for her med-check..... after tat, went home n catch sum sleep b4 being woken up by my dad to fetch my cousin.... then went to New Lane for dinner as they wanted to hv PG food!!!! my cousin is mad abt pg food!!! then after tat sent them to my uncle's hse n i head home to sleep at i hv to wake up early tomolo.....

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8th of Mac 2009

happily woke up at 515am n bathed n dressed up for the photoshoot...... waited for YGL to come to make up n then head to fetch oyi n then to Gurney Drive..... took a few pix at the roundabt n then to the Gurney Plaza's garden...... spent abt almost 2hrs there til rachel came...... then went for breakfast b4 dropping by at rachel's hse to change n then head to teluk bahang for the beach..... we went searching for the ideal part of the beach to take picture n finally we found a spot but it was 2pm n the weather was so hot tat i had sunburned as i did not apply sunblock...... we did not spend time there as the weather is to bright for photoshoot so we left.... then i fetched my cousin to QBM b4 going back home to bath n change n then head back to QBM to meet up viv my cousin..... then had dinner n then sent them back to my uncle's hse........

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9th of Mac 2009

today i slept like a pig viv intervals in between...... i was so so so tired........

24th of February 2009 - sad sad day

2009-02-24T20:05:00.002+08:00

my bloved aunt passed away during lunch today.... n i did not hv a chance to pay her a visit during her 3 mths stay at IJN..... she had been hospitalised since xmas eve n today's demise is oredi on the cards esp when she is oredi giving up hope on life.... her doc said tat its oni a matter of time n it was jz last weekend tat he said tat n today........ she cld hv done much better than tis n wld hv recovered if oni she had the initiative to go on tis life but she chose otherwise..... hearing tat she does not wan to move ard when she is in the hospital is really sad..... she was like a kid then...... until she bcame all stiff n had bedsores.... when my mum visited her last weekend, my mum said tat she cld not even recognise any1 of my uncles n my mum oredi n she cld not tok n eat at all........ seeing her like tat, it wld oni b wise to let her go instead cos she is suffering...... mayb its the best way n medicine for her.... at least she is not in pain n no longer suffering now tat she had oredi left her body...... but its really sad... very sad.....

for the whole day, her healthy face was lingering on my mind n i can still c her happy smile smiling back at me...... i m wondering wat's gonna happen to my cousins after tis..... will they still stay together? will my cousin bro leave home for his dreams? will my cousins still b in touch viv all of us? i hope my aunt n uncle will blessed their children fr up above...... help them to b stronger n to stay together..... jz moments after i received news of my aunt's demise, my cousin bro smsed me n asked me "how la.... my chew gone oredi" my heart went out to him.... but i felt tat my cousin sis wld b worst..... i did not msg my cousin sis cos i din noe wat to say to her.... i really felt sad for her but....... plus i m oso feeling sad on my own part n regretted not going to visit her when i had the chance to......

suddenly felt tat the days r flying fast n felt tat ppl r getting older sooner..... my aunt, aged 57 tis yr is aging pretty fast the past 1 yr viv heart attack but was too weak for a by-pass surgery..... i suddenly felt so scared..... scared wat will happen when age catches up viv my parents..... i really can bear to apart fr them..... so dear God, please bless my parents n uncles n aunties viv good health.......

23rd fo February 2009

2009-02-24T00:16:00.003+08:00

came across an interesting email a few days back but oni had time to type it here..... actually after reading tis, i felt tat its very very true! let me share viv u....

Why ladies today are still single?

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, hane NO MONEY.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nioce men with money thinks we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW WHO THE UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes and it's our jod to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with"

16th of February 2009

2009-02-16T22:25:00.002+08:00

well.... 1st time ever since i had moved to my new hse tat i overslept my alarm....... shd say i did not even put alarm..... last nite b4 i tune in to sleep, i kept thinking if i had oredi set my alarm n sum part of me wanted to check 1st b4 going to sleep but bcos i was too tired, i decided against it...... n tats how i woke up at 8.10am!!!! i rushed like h**l jz so tat i wld not b so late for work..... i reached office by 9 though..... lucky me....... i guess the main reason is tat today not much cars as most factory are shut down due to the slow market.....

reached office n tot today will not b so bz as the market is slow but mana tau, my 'dear' partner is on EL which left me stranded viv so many customers viv their stuffs..... 1 customer but numerous requests..... do til i so pik chik tat i 'DND' my phone so tat nobody can pass calls to me..... n x-partner who sat opposite viv nth to do did not even help..... sampai customer oso kenot tahan n ask me y she like tat wan..... wat can i do? i hv no say to ask to come help me rite? infact during tat situation, if she had more initiative, she wld hv came to help vivout me asking her la, rite? if i ask n she dun wan to, i lagi kek si la...... sumtimes, ppl shd learn to offer help vivout others asking for it...... if ppl were to voice up n ask, u will b very malu d lo...... ppl alwix say 'wat goes ard comes ard'...... not tat i m cursing or wat la but i blieve in tat lo...... so let it b la..... i ended up serving customers til almost 5pm oni the last customer left n i can finally start viv my balancing......... haih..... by the time finish everything oredi so tired d..... really no life lo.... oredi no life, sum more work like tat lagi no life.....

how come la my life can bcome like tis? when everyone ard is attached, i m all alone by myself..... haih..... sad.....

14th of February 2009

2009-02-14T14:25:00.002+08:00

tis is the 2nd yr tat i m enduring tis day alone...... though sad but i do not hv a choice..... i can choose to forget tat its v-day but the hustle n bustle of tis very special occasion is everywhere n i kenot choose to not notice or c all of tis..... "Lonely i m Ms. Lonely, I have nobody, For my owwnnn, Im so Lonely, im Ms. Lonely I have nobody, for my owwnnn Im so Lonely".... haih........... all i hv are my dvds to accompany me til the end.......

many asked y i din get married n hv kids...... the biggest prob is not i dun wan to but i dun hv any1 to viv me to do tat...... if my parents r open minded enuff, i wld hv gone to get implants n hv kids..... afterall, tat was wat i had been thinking for my future since young...... but i noe in m'sia, ppl r not tat open minded n wun b able to accept single mother openly..... so i will jz hv to forget abt tis for now...... i m wondering if i m ever able to do tis..... by tat time, i m oredi too old for all my tots.......

11th of February 2009

2009-02-11T21:30:00.002+08:00

today i got a funny story to tell..... last nite i had slight fever n the whole nite, i kept going to toilet as i kept drinking water to keep my throat wet...... n i dun remember which time iwoke up n fell asleep n i dreamt abt tis famous guy..... tis guy is most gal's dream guy..... n in the dream, he was viv me, nwt, ygl, ysl n his band oso...... n dun noe how he ended up in my house n asking me to accompany him to Mois pula n told me tat my frens r on the way to come fetch us there...... n i woke up smiling non-stop...... if he ever ask me in real person, i wld hv agreed lo...... real person leh...... wu chun leh..... 'lueh fan yeng la' hahaha!!!

n bcos of the dream tat i had, today i had a gr8 day instead minus one stupid lau ee who speaks hokkien but dun understand hokkien...... but bcos today is a happy day due to tat dream, i jz dun wan to tok bout it..... if not, spoil my mood nia.......

plus, i miss tis person so so so so so so so so ........ SO much..... its been 3 weeks tat he last came n i m sad tat he dun miss me..... if he miss me, he will sure come....... sad...... haih...... mayb he is bz viv his new branch..... if not mistaken, he will b opening a new branch in Sg Dua..... no wonder he called me the other day to ask about the Trade Bills facilities....... plus, i saw his company name signboard..... he mz hv either bought over the shoplot or the business...... it used to b my another customer's shop..... anyway, the next time, if i ever successfully c him, i will ask him la......

09th of February 2009

2009-02-09T14:23:00.002+08:00

so boring today...... its a replacement holiday today n i m at home doing nth but watch drama series n blogging..... haih...... tis is my life... my boring life...... not much frens tats y..... v-day is around the corner n my plans? well.... i dun hv a bf n not even a spare tyre so i will b at home, watching drama again..... tats wat i had been doing since tat dreadful incident....... infact along the way, i had came to finally c thru frens around me n my life...... who r those who treats me well n who r those tat treats me good for a reason..... sad to noe tat frens r like tat esp when frens to me r like part of my life n i treat them like a close fren but to them i m jz a social companion..... but tats life isn't it? not everything is fair....... not for me esp..... so i'll jz hv to live life jz like tat...... alone til the end.......

03rd of February 2009

2009-02-03T22:42:00.002+08:00

1st n foremost, i miss him so so so much!!!! it's been almost 2 weeks since i last saw him...... everynite b4 sleep, i will definately think of him.... will he come tomolo? will he still remember when was the last time we met? will he come n tok to me? haih...... til today, he did not come yet..... though we did msg each other last wed..... haih......

anyway..... finally CNY came n went like tat.... n i leh.... got over it like its not CNY at all...... dun noe y tis yr so no mood for CNY..... haih.... infact, i m still wondering how the days went by so fast.... 2008 ended so fast n cny came so early n now wondering if the coming days will come n go as fast as those tat oredi past......

oso, dun noe y ever since 3 days b4 CNY, the past came back to my memory..... infact jz a moment ago oso it came to me..... 2 yrs oredi n the scar is still there..... it will alwix b there to remind me of how foolish i had been then..... n led me to b less confident in myself..... but time will heal all.... its really jz a matter of time...... but how long, i m not sure.....

for the past few days i had been listening to 1 particular song n felt tat the chorus of the song is very meaningful..... 'Ni bu hui ai, Wo de ai, Wo ming bai, Ni de zui ai, na yi kuai, na tian wo cai cun zai, Wo bu hui ai, ni de ai, shou shang hai, suo yi ling yuan an jing de deng dai' mean u dun noe how to love, but i love u, i will understand, ur love, tat day i m in ur heart, i dun noe how to love, but u love me, u will hurt, so the best is to silently wait.....'

28th January 2009

2009-01-28T09:52:00.003+08:00

there she goes.... there she goes again....... sounds familiar viv the song? well, early in the morning when i my phone rang, waking me up fr a nice sleep, my abm was on the other hand asking me where is the deceased account's documents tat i m supposed to pass to him. i told him tat i had reminded my partner to pass to him last fri n he said my partner dun even noe!!!!!!! WTF!!!!! early in the morning wan to make me scold her esp during times like tis!!!!!!! i sum more reminded her tat to pass to him early in the morning n mz remember as it is very important!!!! n she had the cheek to tell my abm tat she dun noe n tat i did not pass her anything!!!!! WALAUEH!!!!!!!! i bet she dun even remember tat i told her there's another opening form in my drawer for the PIBG of SMJK Phor Tay n she will b calling me when they come or she tell them to come next week when i m around...... i hv been keeping tis word to myself since the day she was promoted but now i jz wan to say tat they had given me a U.S.E.LE.S.S. partner.... watever tat i had predi taught her, she had the cheeks to say tat i did not teach her at all..... n i really wan to noe wat happen to all the notes tat she had written when i taught her........

15th of January 2009 - a happy day

2009-01-15T23:34:00.003+08:00

well.... today started off quite dull for me as i had a lot of follow up cases to handle viv n sum more hv to deal viv tat SM ms ch'ng but it was not so bad til i practically lost my mood la.... the best part came in the evening..... by the time the bank closed for the day, i checked my phone as i heard a msg came in n to my surprised, he smsed me asking me if the new notes r up for changing.... i replied yes n asked if he wld need me to reserve for him... he replied yes n gave the denominations tat he needed.... so i guess he will coming either tomolo or next week to collect d lo.... then din even bother to ask more d cos i hv other things to follow up..... (my new ABM accidentally gave the customer our copy of form while issuing pin no for atm card which led to me search high n low for tat particular form)..... during the day, NHL was asking around if any1 wans to join her for dinner at Azuma, the new japanese restaurant in QBM n YGL n i agreed to follow... so immediately after work, YGL, ivy n i went to QBM1st to shop around while waiting for NHL n FSS to come...... while driving to the parking, using the HSBC way up to the multi-level car park, i saw him at the ticketing counter in his CRV going out.... at 1st i was shocked to c him n ivy n YGL was non-stop teasing tat like tat oso can meet each other..... i tot he did not c me but when he past the counter, immediately he saw me but cos we r both on opposite direction viv cars bhind us, we did not stop....... i jz buat tak tau n continued driving up the carpark lo...... mana tau, as i started to drive up my phone rang n ivy n YGL was guessing tat its him so they were more than eager to get the phone for me.... when they took out the phone, they saw who it was n past the phone back to me for me to answer.... its him!!! here's the conversation:-

LKH : i m sure its u back there at the ticketing counter in the red car is it?
Me : yep... where r u heading to? so early finish work oredi ar?
LKH : (jokingly) ya lo... hahaha!!! no la... going to ur place to bank $$$ lo.... where r u going to?
Me : my colls n i going to try out the newly opened japanese restaurant, Azuma lo.... wanna join?u can alwix patah balik to join me wan.....
LKH : eh... since when QBM got new japanese restaurant ar? how come i dun noe wan?
Me : got la.... its next to Harvey Norman.... aiyo.... u got a shop there wan u noe..... lately i seldom go shopping wan la.... how come u dun noe wan ar?
LKH : haha!!!! like tat i will go check it out d.... go jln jln abit...... i really dun noe le.... haha!!! who r u viv?
Me : my colls lo.... ivy n YGL lo....
LKH : eh... u fetch them hor? how come i dun c them wan?
Me : how i noe ar.... ivy was sitting next to me n YGL at the back lo...... u din c them? funny....
LKH : haha!!! old man d ma blind lo.... 3 of u oni?
Me : nope.... 2 other colls coming later..... meeting them at Azuma lo.... u wanna join bo?
LKH : err..... guess not..... dun noe ur colls well wan le..... next time le......
Me : ooo.... ok lo...... eh, u driving dun tok so long d.... drive carefully ar..... later kena tangkap not gd d esp during tis time at the start of the yr...... tok later la....
LKH : ok la..... u oso drive carefully ar..... when driving home......
Me : ok.... bye bye...
LKH : kk... bye bye.....

walaueh..... i really never tot tat he wld call me lo..... cos i did not think of it even though ivy n YGL did asked me to do so.... never felt tat i shd do tat lo..... mana tau he called..... surprised me...... but after he called, i felt so happy today..... haih..... dun noe y lo..... til noe i m still smiling to myself..... really mad d.... i felt myself getting madder each day.... haha!!!! esp when he does sth tat i never tot he wld do..... too bad he is blonged to..... but even if he is not, i dun think i will buld enuff courage to go after him lo.... i m more of the wait-til-he-does-sth type wan lo.... if it was 15 yrs ago, i wld hv gone after him d lo.... but now, i wldnt dare to..... cld tis b one of the effect of the lesson learnt a yr plus ago? mayb..... but no matter how, alwix look to the brighter side of things...... the grass is alwix greener on the other side of the fence..... plus esp viv me whom hv oredi climbed past the fence n starting to walk on the greener grass.... looking forward to a better yr in 2009..... hopefully by end of the yr, i can say tat i had an excellent yr in 2009 be it relationship wise or health wise or work wise or on the general wise...... lets pray hard tat we will live the challenges ahead......

06th of January 2009

2009-01-06T22:57:00.003+08:00

today is a happy day for me.... never tot tat he wld notice me at all.... the last time i saw him was b4 xmas.... n today he came when i was on the phone viv lee discussing bout our leave n CNY n his bus ticket..... he came rite away after taking his queue no n sat in front of me n said 'long time no c'.... i was shocked to c him n replied 'i tot u never realise tat... how long was it since i last saw u?'.... he replied ' 2 weeks oredi lo..' wahlaueh!!! never tot he wld even notice tat.... then he asked me how had the past 2 weeks been for me n i told him everything is as usual... n when he is abt to start tokking to me, suddenly many customers sprang put from nowhere n stood around my table n he was like so 'ngau' like tat looking at them n then said to me 'guess like today no chance to tok to u d since so many ppl ard here..... c when free we had lunch or dinner together la then oni tok la...' haih............. hv to d la since the customers who sprang out of nowhere was now staring at me like wan to eat me like tat..... when he came, there was nobody in the bank but when he sat down to start tokking to me, they come out fr nowhere..... kek si wa nia..... no private time wan..... haih....... it got me thinking if he brings customers along viv him everytime he comes cos everytime oso like tat..... c la next time he wan to bring customer sum more bo..... he bring means no time to tok to me d.... haha!!!!! joking nia la..... afterall, he n i can alwix had lunch or dinner together wan if we wan to....... like tat ma got private time d lo...... hehe!!!! guess tat wun happen kua..... lunch mayb, dinner i dun think so unless its Old Town n when he is there lo..... hahaha!!!!

jz like tat lo.... bcos of tis, i felt happy today...... whole day oso mood very good...... his power is jz so gd.... hahaha!!!! say til like tat, if he reads tis, he sure 'buay khiau' wan...... wakakakakakaka!!!!!! oh ya! bcos tat day i went to watch S.H.E. n sat bhind CM, today chris, ivy's sis n me was caught in the background of a picture in the newspaper......

4th of January 2009

2009-01-04T22:16:00.003+08:00

hehe!!!! i m so happy today..... y? cos i jz came back fr watching my idols at autocity..... S.H.E. is in town n i m so happy to b able to watch them fr such a nice view.... i got the V.I.P. ticket n i sat on the 3rd row fr the stage.... plus, our CM was there viv his family as well to watch them.... bonus is, they got the chance to take pic viv S.H.E. backstage!!!! kek si wa nia..... if oni i was one of them.... haih...... still very lucky n happy d...... get to watch my Ella..... she is jz so so so cute...... tis is the best bday present i had.... Ella up close n personal..... they even sang bday song in BM.... my blated present fr S.H.E..... so so so happy....

30th Dec 2008 - Birthday

2008-12-31T01:17:00.002+08:00

well.... its my bday..... n it went jz like tat viv nth much...... jz when i tot he wld forget my bday, he called me tis evening ard 6++ n wished me n spoke to me awhile..... i asked him to join me for dinner but he cld not make it cos he had jz oni came back fr kl..... instead he promised to take for either lunch or dinner.... i tot he wld forget, never tot.........we shall if today next yr, he will still remember.... haha!!!..... to all my frens, thanks for all ur presents n wishes.... oh ya! the other person whom i tot wld not remember my bday was 'gwg' n i had a surprised last midnite when i received his sms rite on the dot viv his wishes for me...... thank, gwg.....

today, dear told me a gd news...... chris got us 3 tix for S.H.E.'s concert tis weekend at AutoCity.... sum more its VIP seatings..... so happy lo..... me wanna go take pic viv Ella d...... yea yea...... i oso hope tat Fahrenheit is the guest performer so tat i can take pic viv my Wu Chun..... tomolo, Bosco is coming to qbm but i guess by the time i finish work n start to make my way there, i will b standing way bhind n can oni c him like an ant nia...... haih..... nwt was non-stop asking me to join her clubbing tomolo nite but i dun even hv the mood for it..... clubbing was never my favourite..... i wld prefer lazing by the coffee shop like mamak's or starbucks or coffee bean etcs...... tats more like me...... or either stay at home to catch dramas...... clubbing is a no-go for me..... so most prob tomolo nite, i will either b at home watching Super Trio Show or out viv frens for drinks..... but it will dpend on my mood......

20th of December 2008

2008-12-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

i jz wanna say tat i miss him n i cant help thinking of him.... really dun noe y but its been like tis since he went to NZ... everynite b4 i turn in to sleep, i will definately think of him... tis few days, aside fr thinking of him, other things happened as well.... my mum was admitted to LGH for viral fever for a nite on thurs n i was on CL on fri..... dear came to visit my mum at hospital during lunch on fri jz moments b4 my mum was being discharged.... then later tat nite, went to darling's house for dinner viv the rest of my colls...... n after parking my car, i walked over to the guard hse n when passing thru chou yang, i saw him viv a gal hving dinner n he was listening very attentively to wat the gal was tokking abt..... but he din c me..... i did tot of smsing him wan but i did not..... she was the gal i saw 2 mths ago in bj when i was there buying rings viv 5 musketeers.... one of his suppliers.....

CNY is jz ard the corner n i m still looking for skirts/dresses..... but b4 CNY, i gotta celebrate 1st.... very happy tat my bestest frens r back to celebrate viv me..... thank u very much!!! too bad he cld not join me cos he going to kl to attend wedding.... but there is still 30th.... hope he will make it.... if not....

17th December 2008

2008-12-17T20:49:00.002+08:00

frankly, i wasnt on a very gd mood tis past few days.... dun noe y oso..... on monday, my partner was on CL as her daughter was admitted n the whole day i was very very busy..... dun noe y tat day there was so many customers..... n i was particularly irritated by 1 stupid customer over sumthing tat was not my fault at all.... infact, wat i did was to help her so tat she open the account n i can settle her n proceed viv the next person cos there was a long queue for CSR!!! but tis bloody idiot blamed me for spoiling her ic jz bcos i used eraser to rub on the chip!!! FOR GOD DAMN SAKE!!!! I WAS TRYING TO RUB IN ORDER FOR MY KRR TO READ THE INFO SO TAT I CAN PROCEED VIV OPENING HER N SETTLE HER OFF N PROCEED VIV THE NEXT NO!!!! i ended up having war of words viv tat bloody idiot aunty over the rubbing of chip does not spoil the chip!!!! frankly, I M VERY VERY IRRITATED N GETTING RUDER VIV EACH WORDS TAT I SAID TO HER!!! then ivy who heard all of tis came to my rescue n explained to tat idiot aunty the scientific way of how the O2 n water n sun will hv effect on metal things n etc.... i wanted to laugh but i was too irritated to do tat...

and, mr lok came oso but it did nth to make my mood better.... mz hv been tat i woke up on the wrong side of the bed... he came when i was very very bz n he wanted to talk but i was not available to talk and so he left.....

today, he came and i was quite free as business is slow moving at branch... so he n i had sum time to yak.... but he looked very tired n off colour n not happy like tat n i wondered y.... i asked him y he looked like tis but jz as he started viv his reply to me, 1 aunty came n stood at my table n started tokking n he change his reply.... he replied tat he did not sleep well last nite but he kept looking at the aunty n looked irritated tat she stood at my desk.... so after awhile, he went off..... n oso, i finally built up enuff courage to invite him for my bday next weekend but unfortunately he cld not make it cos he is due to b at his fren's wedding in kl tat very weekend.... so i told him to join me for dinner on tues n he said ok..... tis got me on the best of my mood for the rest of my day.... haha!!!! hopefully he dun forget lo..... abo sure kek si wa wan....

10th of December 2008 - happy day

2008-12-10T21:04:00.002+08:00

today is a happy day for me.... no doubt i m very bz as my partner is on leave tis whole week but i still felt happy today.... yesterday was not tat happy.... there was 1 crazy aunty ,whom hv been coming to bank since a few mths ago jz to find fault viv me, came AGAIN yesterday n AGAIN found fault viv me.... the moment the door opened, she marches in to my desk n shouted at me... WTF!!!! it was not my fault afterall cos i oredi advised her not to do the pymt last mth but she insisted n now our card ctr debited her account once more for the same pymt n she came to cari pasal.... she shouted so loudly tat the whole banking hall was very quiet n everyone was looking at me for she was screaming at me..... plus, she kept saying tat we r very 'mou yam kong' for bullying an old lady like her n tat she is an educated person n tat she is a respectable figure cos she is the Pengarah Jabatan Kesihatan.... lagi WTF!!!! if u r an educated person, u dun come barging into the bank n screaming at the staff for a fault tat is obviously not her fault. mayb she is educated but not civilised kut.... haih.... after screaming at me, she went off to the counter to renew her FD n while waiting for the counter staff, she came back to my desk when i hv other customers n apologised to me for screaming jz now!!!! u say la.... tis is CIVILISATION???

n due to tat crazy lady, i was pretty much hoping tat mr lok wld come to brighten up my day but he did not turn up.... mayb he is very very bz....

anyway, jz when i din think he wld come today, he did.... n i saw him when he was walking into the bank viv earphone most probably listening to mp3 kua.... n i was smiling non-stop d n started to lose concentration at wat i m doing d..... haih..... its been more than a week since i last saw him n i really do miss him..... y? y like tat? haih..... really dun understand y i like him so much.... the sight of him brings peace to my inner self.... but i often stumble when i talk to him.... anyway, after writing his pay-in slip, he came to my desk n stood nearby to jz yak viv me but i was quite bz as i hv a customer.... so i tot if i cld oni jz expedite the process n then send the customer off sooner, then he n i can really tok d lo.... mana tau, customers was never ending.... one after another took the queue n we both ended up viv no chance of yakking.....

guess wat, he said to me tat its been more a week since he last saw me n tat i m alwix bz tat i hv no time to yak to him.... i tot he din realise tat.... i tot i m the oni 1 who actually felt tis way.... but seeing him is oredi very gd for me d.... at least it kept me in a very gd mood for the rest of the day..... if oni we can c each other everyday....... crossing fingers, praying hard, hoping tat he n i can do tat but how? he is attached oredi..... haih................

meaningful quote

2008-12-01T22:10:00.001+08:00

was reading thru my email n came across tis meaningful quote... enjoy...

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.' What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.' Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective? Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear. The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling...And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

28th November 2008 - SUFFOCATION OF LIFE!!!

2008-11-28T19:42:00.003+08:00

i felt so suffocated by my life.... y does everything hv to b tis way in my life? y never gd things ever happen to me? y? y? Y? i often asked myself tat n never noeing y.... if oni i can jz loosen myself away fr tis family, wldn't it b gd? if oni i can leave tis world, wldn't it b nicer? if oni, if oni, IF ONI.... tats all tat i can think of but never realising any of it..... if gd things never will come my way, so dear god, y dun u jz let me go? those who died during the horrific attacks in Mumbai never ask for tis, y i hv to go thru all tis? y? y? Y? i kept asking myself..... i beg u dear god to let me leave.... leave tis life which is full of sadness.....

26th November 2008 - an extremely happy day

2008-11-27T00:06:00.004+08:00

the title says it all...... today is infact the happiest day of the week..... he came back fr holidays n i knew it tat he will definately come to c me on monday....... n he was in a jovial mood n was non-stop tokking to me n smiling as well..... he is jz gorgeous..... u noe, when he came, i had a customer n was explaining info.... the moment i saw him at the background, i was blank..... out of sudden, i forgot wat i wan to explain n jz went blanco.... i really dun noe wat got into me then..... i was jz too happy for words..... is it bcos i had guessed correctly? is it bcos i hoped so much to c him n he turned up? i really dun noe....

anyway, he was pretty talkative compared to 2 weeks ago when he asked to lunch viv him...... he asked if he got darker n joked tat he had tanned his bdy as well.... when i told him tat AUD forex drop to 2.2 last fri n he jokingly scolded me 'y u never call me?'.... i replied 'i din noe when u r coming back ma, u din tell me ma... u tell me lo where were u btw 10 am to 12pm?'. he said 'oh! i was on the plane' n i replied 'so how la m i suppose to call u? u wan to ask the pilot to throw u down fr the sky is it?' n he kept quiet for awhile n said 'ok lo.... sorry le..... anyway i bought u souvenier, tomolo bring to u'... then ivy was saying sth else which made me suddenly say 'i noe d, u come bank to c her wan leh' (pointing to ygl) n he kept quiet n stared at me wanting to say sth but kept quiet.... then i repeated the sentence til he kenot tahan wat i said n forcefully agreed but his xpression was diff.... then after tat he left but promised to come back to give me my souvenier....

frankly, i never tot tat he wld buy me souvenier at all.... afterall i was not very very close to him as compared to the 2 ladies i saw last mth during the deepavali week at BJC...... but i felt very happy cos he actually tot of me when buying souvenier..... ppl say 'out of sight, out of mind' but not to him n myself.... out of sight, the more i miss him..... i dun noe bout him la bout tis, but i really do miss him.... kept thinking of him for the past 2 weeks.... sth mz b very wrong viv me d.... really wrong..... i noe tat he is not in the market n yet i jz like him.... haih......

today, i had a very strong feeling tat he will go to office to look for me... but i din dare to msg him.... so i went out to renew my rd tax n pay sum credit cards n then head to bj for my late lunch at mcd hoping to catch a glimpse of him there but he was not there..... so after i fetched my bro n mum home, i head out to hv dinner viv oyi as promised n then met up viv my colls at old town, qbm..... tis is where the 2nd part of my story starts....

jz as i was going down the escalator to the basement, he saw me n vice versa.... he was at his qbm shop.... the moment he saw me, he lit up n smiled to me... but he had a customer, so after smiling to me, he continued viv his conversation.... so i walked over to my colls table which is rite in front of his shop n sat down.... then i ordered my drink n started tokking to my colls while looking at his shop for him until my colls noticed n started to tease me..... then i stopped looking n turned back to them... n suddenly, i felt his presence rite bside me n sat down in front of me..... then he started tokking to me n my colls.... at 1 point, my colls started to speak while he wanted to tell me sth n then later on he jz kept quiet.... god.... i felt like dying man.... how can tis b happening? haih.......

after awhile, he suddenly stood up n shifted his seat to my side n then jz sat bside me..... i was shocked!!! then after awhile, he had to leave n he took the receipt vivout us noticing n went off to the cashier.... it was not until he asked if there is anything else we wanted tat we realised tat.... n my colls asked me to go n take the receipt back fr him.... i went n demanded him to return me the receipt but he insist tat he pay.... so i asked the cashier to return to me but the cashier actually stood by his side n said 'so sorry.... tis boss say he wans to pay so he will pay'.... kek si wa nia.... then he told me tat the cashier noes him n tat he will listen to him wan n tat its oni 'beberapa puluh' so he will jz treat us all n tat its a 'kin min lai' for the rest of my colls wor....... so i went back to the table n told them wat happened n they thank him n jokingly said tat he shd treat us better than tis for a 'kin min lai' n he replied 'nth wan la.... next time i marry time, then treat u all lo'... WALAUEH!!!!!! marry wor!!!!! kek si wa liao...... my glass heart broken again.... haih...........

nothing to comment d.... really kek si d..... but i oredi knew tat he is blonged so shd not think so much d...... haih..... i knew tat n kept reminding myself tat so tat i wun go overboard.... i really dun noe wat he has tat had such an attraction to me..... really dun noe wat makes me so drawn to him...... haih......... hopefully tomolo he wun go to office to find me la.... i m on leave tomolo as well.... then fri working n then sat n sun rest kau kau then work 2 more days n i m off to kl d to shop viv ysl n owl...... wahahahaha!!!!! but hv to b back by 6th cos got wedding dinners to attend!!! sat is my sch mate's wedding dinner, sun is my new abm's wedding dinner in gurun, kedah n then mon is my customer's temple's dinner...... eat eat eat non-stop nia..... sure fat d..... mz go excercise more d to burn more fat..... abo..... nobody wans me d..... oredi nobody wan sum more grow fatter, lagi nobody wans..... haih.............

23rd of November 2008

2008-11-23T02:01:00.002+08:00

today i witnessed a very close fren of mine quarrelled viv her bf n then broke up over the phone..... it was very painful listening to her speaking to him as he was being illogical....... one part of me felt sad tat their relationship had to come to tis end but the other part of me felt pity for him....... watever she said to him on the phone was wat i heard from a past....... n it made me very sad n felt like crying along viv her.....

both of them had been quarreling since last oct n yet the decision was not made as she is waiting for him to speak up but he did not wan to let go...... all tis happening is like repeating my history.... she had put out her cards tat she wanted to break but he jz dun seem to get it n then forced her to her limits n finally she said it out...... after tat she started to wonder if she had made the rite decision..... to me, there is no rite or wrong..... once a decision hv been made, there is no going back to it..... no point of thinking if it is rite or wrong..... u will never noe til u go thru til the end of the process..... in her case, staying on will get her more upset n the chance to break free is far fr her reach..... if she breaks, she wld feel happier noeing tat she had her life back on track...... it will hurt for sure considering the length of their relationship but she will get thru it all n put it all behind her...... tats if she successfully convinced him tomolo......

i jz hope she will calm down n make a gd decision..... now, she really needs to rest her mind..... though it will hurt, it better once n for all..... i noe i hv made the rite choice even though once awhile, i tend to look back but i will never noe if i did not let go then.......

21st of November 2008

2008-11-21T14:10:00.002+08:00

yesterday was an unlucky day for me.... i sent my car for servicing n ended up spending almost RM800 for watever belts tats in the car, water pump, throttle body, exhaust pipe n servicing.... then went to Air Cool for tinting of my windscreen n spent RM300for a better tint viv infre-red rejection of 88% as compared to my current of 56%... then sent my external drive to PC Depot to c y it cld not connect to my pc n ended up spending RM55 for a new casing cos the old casing has got problems.... n worst of all is i cld not find the receipt for the old casing in order for me to send for repair..... n i m still looking for it..... moving hse is like tat wan.... sure got things missing...... then b4 i left the tinting shop, the salesgal introduced a better tinting for my car, the anti-theft tint n tat will cost me RM999 for the whole car!!!! but i m considering cos it really is very gd.....

oh ya!!! jz as i was leaving BJ to the collect my car from the tyre shop, i slipped n fell on the pavement in front of the BJ Court guardhouse..... n now my toe hurts...... it was very unfortunate of me cos i was not running or in a hurry n yet i still slipped n fell...... haih........ wonder who is cursing me...... jz last week, the atm cassettes fell on both my legs leaving them blue blacked n painful..... tat was ms ch'ng fault as she was in a hurry to go to the atm vestibules but hv to wait for the guard to unlock the glass door so she hastily put the cassettes down vivout realising tat it fell on my leg as it was unbalanced..... then after tat, my windscreen was smashed by tat dun noe wat the heck fruit it is...... n now all tis..... haih...... luck tis yr is not very gd..... predicted to hv to go thru all tis tis yr........... hopefully next yr will b better.....

16th of November 2008

2008-11-16T22:13:00.002+08:00

i came across a very funny email n tot of sharing it.... njoy it esp the guys.....

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girldfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go bank to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings - Alimony - Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will havt to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2...

However, be careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

15th of November 2008

2008-11-15T13:31:00.002+08:00

jz came back fr sending my car for replacement of the windscreen..... guess how much it cost me??? RM600!!!!! insured oni half of the price, i still hv to foot out the other half.... sum more hv to tint the windscreen..... broke liao..... haih..... all bcos of the stupid fruit tat fell on the windscreen.... cld u imagine how gr8 the impact was? my light cover n the light bulb fell out oso..... haih......... stupid fruit!!! let me waste $$$ nia..... my car really unlucky lo..... the other time was the small window n the cd player..... haih..... which in turn reflects tat i m oso very unlucky...... tis year's horoscope did state tat i m to lose sum $$$..... but then again, lose sum $$$ is better than being involve in accidents lo...... so i felt really lucky d..... tis r all minors nia...... next year leh...... i will b bug viv digestive problems...... so next yr must take gd care of my health......

13th of November 2008 - another unlucky day of the year

2008-11-13T23:03:00.004+08:00

picture is worth a thousand words...... tis is the 2nd time tat it happened!!!! DAMN!!!! tis is how unlucky i m tis year..... luckily i had it insured, if not $$$ flying off d..... forgot to take a picture of the 'chui fui wo sau'.... so tomolo i will do so if i got time....

04th of November 2008

2008-11-04T20:56:00.002+08:00

well..... i noe its been a week plus tat i did not update my blog..... been a little too bz lately..... anyway..... today i m very happy..... very very happy..... y? cos mr lok came to collect his chq book as well as enquire bout the FCY FD.... he called on 31st Oct evening to ask abt it but insist tat i xplain to him when he comes over to the branch as the line was bad n he cld not hear clearly...... n he came today cos he noes tat i m very bz on mondays n fridays...... he came during my usual lunchtime but today i din noe wat time is lunchbreak as my partner is on mc..... after i xplained to him, he kept asking when is my lunch but i really dun noe.... then audrey came n asked me to go out for my lunch but oni for 1/ hr nia n when i turned to him, he jz nodded his head n said "k... i noe d.... 1/2 hr fr now.... means tat kenot go out for lunch.... oni can lunch at next door coffee shop.... let's go...." n so we had lunch.... n spoke a lot.....

remembered i told u tat he denied hving a gf? well.... today he did not deny..... he told me tat he is leaving for New Zealand for a 2 weeks trip in 2 days' time n i asked if he is going viv his gf n at first he denied.... then i asked if he is going for a honeymoon n then oni he replied "nope... jz holiday nia" but he kept quiet on the gf part..... so :-

Me : wah... NZ ar.... song la..... very beautiful wan lo..... ur gf sure very happy wan
LKH : yea.... she happy, i m not leh..... my pocket got big hole d lo......
Me : aiya.... she happy ma.... u shd happy oso la..... can go holidays viv gf n sum more to such a beautiful place like NZ...
LKH : (sad smile) yea rite..... very tiring lo.... hv to drive fr north to south le....
Me : (surprised) u r on free n easy?
LKH : yep..... tats y bz digging for info...... haih.....
Me : pity...... but ok la..... got gf viv u shd happy d la....
LKH : (sad sad smile) still got many places to go.... broke liao.....
Me : (jokingly) like tat hor ma look for other gf lo..... find a gf who can help u save more money......
LKH : (lights up a little) k lo.... then mz find one working in the Bank wan.....

haih..... i noe he is joking bout it la..... how la to find for another gf when he is still viv tis current 1.... but i jz wan to lighten him up nia.... cos fr the moment i saw him in the office, he is not very happy at all....... n it got worst when he was speaking bout his NZ trip.... its like he is not happy at all tat he is going for a long holiday....... i c him like tat i oso not happy.... til now still thinking whether wat is wrong viv him.... wat is making him so sad..... is it bcos of his trip? or is it bcos of his presentation today? anyway, all tat i can i do is hope everything is well for him...... i can still remember tat he told me to take him along when i m going clubbing...... i m shocked.... clubbing is not my fav..... i prefer sumwhere quiet like starbucks or coffee bean or sunset bar for me to jz lazed a bit n relax..... n i think he is surprised tat i said tat n said tat it was ages ago tat he went clubbing...... but for tis coming 2 weeks, no need to call him d since he is not ard...... tis coming few weeks will b very hectic for me as functions every weekend.....

8th nov : boss's hse warming
15th nov : auditor's wedding in taiping
22nd nov : nicole's wedding dinner
23rd nov : nicole's wedding
7th dec : sch mate's wedding

1stly, i will b broke by the end of all the above.... n 2ndly, i will b drained out by the end os 23rd nov cos my colls r planning to go clubbing after the functions...... n I REALLY NOT INTO CLUBBING!!!!!! but they jz dun understand...... i kept telling them the same but they jz dun get it..... i m a laid back style where lazing in starbucks or coffee bean or the sunset bar is my type...... clubbing every weekend?!! i'll b dead very very soon if i go clubbing every weekend...... i m aging n my bones r jz to stiff to shake a bon-bon like them....... plus drinking is bad for health....... once awhile is ok for me but never every weekend...... haih......

the answer to a relationship tat wld not start at all.......

2008-10-25T17:05:00.002+08:00

i guess many wld wan to noe y i din work out viv eug since he is very gd to me..... enjoy the below n u will understand...... the feeling jz did not exist......

This aspect of the chart reveals a combination that can be solid as a rock for a long time only to crash and burn in the blink of an eye. Stubborn, highly motivated, a self-starter and an unconventional individualist, eug is also adventurous and not afraid of trying new, even risky paths. Strongly driven, the number one doesn't usually give a hoot about other people's expectations. So, eug does whatever eug wants to do and will fight anyone and anything trying to get in the way. lisa is no less gifted in the areas of persistence and ambition. However, the number four stands for everything that is sturdy, reliable, patient, responsible, conventional, detail-oriented and "doing things the way they should be done." And this is precisely where some possibly dangerous pitfalls for this relationship lie. lisa has both feet firmly on the ground. Undeterred by the prospect of having to take care of things that might be boring and routine, lisa will do the job, no matter what. lisa will not step aside just because something is difficult or may take a lot of time. The four marches on until the job is done. Period. eug, on the other hand, does not have that kind of patience. When the forces are no longer in eug's favor, it's time for war. "Confront the challenges head on with a 'damn the consequences' attitude" - this is eug's dilemma. This can be a thriving relationship as long as eug doesn't start on a path of unknowns and risky, questionable results. However, that will unavoidably happen and lisa will at times be seen as a stick in the mud, a source of frustration for eug. When this kind of situation becomes overwhelming, it will almost certainly bring this relationship to and end.

On the other hand, as long as eug is able to respect lisa's need for a secure, perhaps even predictable, lifestyle, and lisa's need for a secure, perhaps even predictable, lifestyle, and lisa can understand eug's need to try new avenues, take risks, occasionally venture out into unknown territories, the relationship can endure.

18th of Oct 2008

2008-10-18T00:31:00.002+08:00

exactly a yr had past n it will 4ever stay a part of lotus gal's life n memories..... it will b the most xpensive n hurtful lesson learnt by lotus gal...... but its a past.... a buried past...... life now for lotus is diff though changed but happier than during the 2 yrs b4......... used to think tat i will not survive tis long but now i did...... i blieve i will b better a yr later.......

jz came back fr bali n frankly, it was not wat i had xpected it wld b..... other than the beautiful Tanah Lot n those beaches at Kuta n Jimbaran, i dun even recall anything there.... my advise is tat if u r planning for a trip there, think twice...... the oni recommendation i hv is tat if u r planning for romantic wedding pictures, u can alwix go to Tanah Lot.... ITS THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACE OF ALL!!!!!!!!!! the sunset viv the strong waves hitting the beach is the most beautiful sight..... how i wish i m there for my wedding picture....... but i doubt tat it wld ever happen......... not tat i doubt i wld b able to take pictures there but i doubt if i wld ever marry......

anyway, i will b updating my pics soon cos i m very tired fr the trip..... my leg muscles r damn painful fr climbing n going the stairs when going for water rafting n til now, i m still having headaches...... n still having diarrhoe...... n still having the vomitting feeling as my stomach is having digestion problems........

next weekend is my hse warming n i will take pictures n upload again..... so stay put..... me now wanna go to sleep d.... very tired n sleepy.....

06th of Oct 2008

2008-10-06T00:27:00.002+08:00

though today i had class, audrey smsed me for dinner.... so we went to QBM to jln jln a bit n then eat dinner.... jz as audrey n i were walking towards jusco to buy bread, he called out at me rite in front of McD as he was putting up a camera stall there for a mini fair..... we spoke a bit n he kept apologising over yesterday's incident...... i cld not get angry viv him so i smiled instead n reminded him to alwix finish reading msges...... then i left oredi as audrey went off to the bakery......

now oni did i realise tat i never tot of doing a compatibility check for both of us...... so below is the result of the check....... overall its very gd.... no wonder i had such a feeling towards him...... too bad he is not up in the market..... haha!!!! enjoy reading though......

lisa is fortunate. lok's six reflects a great capacity for love, understanding, sacrifice and support. The six is, by nature, perhaps the most harmonious of all numbers.

But lisa is not the only one who is fortunate in this relationship. lok also has reasons for gratitude. lisa will protect and defend lok through thick and thin. The power of the one should not be underestimated. And to have that power and concentrated energy on your side, lok, can be a real blessing. lisa can make you feel safe and secure, since there is nothing wishy-washy about lisa. This is a combination that can last for a long time, without ever going through the kind of turbulence so many other relationships experience. But, as always, there is another side to the coin.

This aspect of lisa's chart reveals an inner force and a driven energy that doesn't slow down for anything. lisa doesn't put up with weakness and is demanding of others. Like a true leader, lisa needs to see courage and strength represented in others. lok reveals a different nature. At least in this aspect of the chart. lok is compromising, forgiving and sometimes sacrificing to a fault. lisa has to be careful not to see this as a weakness, since lok's ability to defend the weaknesses of others is alien to a number one. Likewise, lok may at times be disturbed to recognize a somewhat hard and unforgiving quality in lisa. lok should not confuse that with a lack of compassion. lisa is certainly capable of offering compassion, especially towards victims of circumstances, where fault or laziness, or cowardice is not an issue. Only when lisa feels someone is not pulling his or her weight, can lisa respond quite harshly.

The important thing for both lisa and lok is to understand that they are very different in the way they view human qualities. Their priorities differ. That's all. Therefore, if they are able to keep an eye open for their differences and value their respective good qualities, they will certainly enjoy a long life together.

04th Oct 2008

2008-10-04T21:45:00.003+08:00

can't blieve tat in a week's time, i'll b flying off to Bali d...... can't wait to go...... but tis time, the xcitement is unlike the 1 i had when i was abt to leave for hk....... tat xcitement is like a kid being given her her fav teddy bear..... its like flying off to the sky..... tis time, its not like tat though i m looking forward to tis trip....... blieve tis, i m still thinking of going to hk..... really miss hk..... like i said, i really hope to go to hk n stay there for a mth n slowly enjoy..... but i dun hv tat much leave le...... sad.......

tis afternoon, klc smsed me asking me to follow her to his place to buy battery for her camera.so i agreed.... n i smsed him asking him if he will b at his shop...... n he called back telling me tat i m so 'lucky' cos he jz left his shop n tat he will oni b back around 6pm++....... so i asked klc n in the end dcided to wait for him...... we went at 6++ n waited for him as he not yet reach his shop..... i smsed him telling him tat i m waiting for him at his shop n he replied tat he will reach soon...... few moments later he called n asked where i was cos he reached his shop oredi n i turned around lo..... mana tau, i did not c him n asked him where is he lo..... he said he is at his shop n asked if i was in bj...... so i asked if he is in qbm..... yuan lai, he tot tat i was in qbm..... he apologized cos he read thru my sms again n found out tat he was wrong..... he read part of the msg n not the other part which i told him i was in bj's shop...... haha!!!! shows how tak ada jodoh lo both of us...... i sum more tot can finally c him d cos when he came on tues to collect chq book, i did not hv the time to speak viv him........ haih..... too bad la......

n.... congratulations to one of my best 'chi mui', owl on his passing of CCP.... finally pass oredi.... so now got more leave left d lo... cos previously, his leave is mostly kept for his exams n study..... now he is finally free.... but tis idiot normally got leave oso dun wan come back pg wan...... alwiz say tat he is very bz which i understand..... haih.... sum more phone oso lau beh d..... kept auto shut down n never ring..... i msged n called him a few times but he said he did not receive anything at all....... his phone really can throw into the sea d...... now helping him look around for phones..... but tis guy quite yim chim oso lo..... LOLX.......

02nd Oct 2008

2008-10-02T01:27:00.005+08:00

i noe tat its been a week d since i last update my blog n plus, i noe how to scold my best fren for not updating but myself now oni wan to update..... pai seh pai seh..... end of last blog, i wrote tat i smsed sum1 on his bday... well, he replied at 1.10pm his bday n said "tq.... treat me gd one.... when i c u next time" haha!! n i replied "ok"....

20th Sept 2008

next up is my outing viv my colls n auditors on sat, 20th sept.... we went oriental tat day for karaoke til 9pm n then head to New World Park for dinner at Nyonya Cafe..... then after tat went to Mois clubbing..... actually i was suppose to go home at 1.30pm n kynor is suppose to fetch me home but when the time came, he din say a word plus the mood was js starting to go high so we stayed on.... n when audrey came viv her fren, 198 (our nickname for her fren), 198 asked me "i tot tomolo u r travelling to kl to attend course. y r u still standing here at 2.30am?" i smiled n replied "cos my driver dun wan to go back yet..." n he asked if need him to fetch me back or not cos i travelling the next day.... but i pai seh to follow his car lo cos he drove a 2-door car n plus he fetch audrey wan wor.... i pai seh to b the spotlight in the car lo..... so i said "it's ok..... i wait for my driver la.... thanks for offering though"..... then 198 went to grab drinks for himself n audrey n then start to ask me to drink..... mz b he saw tat my glass is still full cos YSL kept filing up my glass..... then at last when i finished my drink, he said tat next round when i m not travellig the next day then oni go out again n he will treat me drinks again...... i really salute him n audrey lo...... when they came to Mois, they had oredi been to 3 pubs d!!! n yet they can still drink!!! salute both of them....

anyway, finally left Mois at 3.30am on 21st Sept 2008 n reached home at 4am!!!! by the time i went to sleep, its oredi 4.30am n i woke up at 8.30am!!!!! n then left for kl.... the whole journey there, i called almost everybody who went clubbing the nite b4 n made them tok to me cos i cld not sleep on the bus esp kynor...... if not bcos of him, i wld hv reach home at 2am n slept by 2.30am...... haih..... anyway, i safely reach bangi n attended my 2days course n came back pg.......

26th Sept 2008

finally we got to the last day of housing the 4 auditors under our roof.... n i blieve a few of us built a gd rapport viv them..... n those few will miss them esp after 27th Sept when they finally leave for home.... today, OYL, NWT, kynor, myself n kenneth (one of the auditors) went to teluk kumbar for seafood dinner n then head to Batu Feringghi's Sunset Bar for afters..... its a beautiful place..... really beautiful..... the bar is situated at the beach so u can jz stroll along the beach n feel the breeze of the sea..... its really nice..... til now, i m still thinking of it....

27th Sept 2008

met up viv the 4 auditors for dim sum b4 sending them off...... the head to ms voon's hse for laksa....... today i slept the most cos 2hrs after i reach home at 6++pm, i went to bed n slept til the next morning at 7.30am n got ready for class....

17th of Sept 2008

2008-09-17T23:19:00.002+08:00

well..... tis blog was supposed to b written yesterday but i had dinner n then came home late.... plus i had a very bad headache when i reached home so i ended up going to bed instead..... early yesterday morning, i was 'treated to coffee' by my abm n she was very hurtful viv her words tat i was very very unhappy after tat..... i went back to my table n continued my job but ivy noticed the change in my mood n asked me..... i told her tat i was very unhappy cos my abm's words was very hurtful n it so happened tat, mr lok, who was at ygl's counter turned n saw me very unhappily 'nagging' to ivy, came to my table n asked "wat happen to u? u looked so sad.... wat r nagging abt?".... i dun noe if i shd laughed or not cos he actually noticed my difference of mood..... i replied "ya lo.... very sad cos i was being scolded til kau huet lam tau ma.... so ma very sad lo...." then he started to make light jokes to make me happy.... he jokingly asked me to go over to his co n work n he will give me double salary fr wat i earned now..... n i jokingly replied him ok, i shall move over immediately..... then i asked him bout his bday celebration which is on the 18th of Sept n he shockingly asked how i knew his bdate..... so i ma say lo "aiyo.... u everytime come take chq book fr me n write ur ic no, u think i blind wan meh......" then he jokingly said "like tat hor.... then where is my present?" then we started laughing...... i asked if his gf will celebrating viv him n he answered "i dun hv gf wor.... waiting for u to celebrate viv me lo" so i said "u lying ar..... jz went travelling a few mths back nia n now u say no gf.... lying to me ar" n he kept insisting tat he got no gf..... n then said tat he hv to work on his bday sum more how to celebrate wor......

everytime when i m sad, he will alwix b there wan..... previously, jz by looking at him makes me very happy..... sad oso mood oso gets better...... n yesterday, he even joked to make me happy..... guy like tis really hard to find...... but then again, gd things will never happen to me wan..... even he oso is oredi blonged to d..... haih.... sad...... but then frens oso ok d...... now i m thinking if i shd msg him a bday greeting...... dun noe wat he think hor.... midnite wor..... n in the end, i sent....... jz sent..... nth wan ma hor..... normal bday wish fr a fren nia ma..... he sure receive a lot of fren's wishes wan la hor..... anyway, my motive of staying up so late is to send tis sms n update tis blog..... so i think i can go n sleep d..... i'll update more tomolo if i hv the time cos i still hv a lot tat i hvnt said......

15th Sept 2008

2008-09-15T22:18:00.002+08:00

well...... like i said, the auditors r here n oredi xpected tat i will tied down by them...... infact, not oni did they bother me viv lots of things to look for, tis is the time when my abm had the chance to scold me more.... the 4th day they were here, she intercom n screamed on the phone to go bhind n settle the handover case for the auditor...... screamed!!! then small little things nia, she will start to scold tat we din do tis, din do tat...... i kena a lot d..... my partner oso...... tis is the 1st time my partner n i met viv auditors n we oredi discussed tis over d to take tis as a lesson to learn fr our mistakes...... at least after tis audit, we will noe wat we did wrong n wat we did not do so tat we wun repeat the same thing the next audit...... but tis abm of ours does not think tis way..... she kept comparing us viv the previous partnership....... imagine tis... the previous partnership got 3 yrs of xperience together..... myself n my partner? 1 yr pun tak cukup...... infact everything still new to my partner n everything dpend on me more...... how to compare to them?

frankly, dun wan to say nia, my partner oso very stubborn wan...... told her to study her manual, or do things tis way.... she will never do tat..... then when ppl ask, she will say i din tell..... there was once tat she insisted i did not teach her rite in front of my abm n my abm scolded me for nth..... so after tat, dun noe luckily or not, i remembered wat happened tat i tot her n said it to her face bout the case rite in front of my abm oso... then oni she said "oh ya..... baru i ingat....." u c la!!!! i oredi kena for nth d....... infact, i was so afraid she might do or say the wrong thing in front of the auditors tat i kept reminding her.... she really c auditors as a light thing, nth to worry abt thing...... guess wat... i told her fr the 1st day tat if auditors every come, we mz do lunch break balancing everyday..... n when i did n asked to initial on it, she said "u tinggal dulu, nanti i sign".... it so happened tat one of the days when our side is light n she did the balancing viv me sign on the spot, one of the auditors, chris, came to ask for the balancing sheet.... when i came back fr lunch, she told "nasib baik ada buat"..... told so many times til i oso bored or telling d n yet she din wan to do..... tis time, luckily got do..... if not, i sure kena again......

previously told her to change lock during lunchbreak, but she dun think its a big deal n tat i m oni making a big fuss over it nia...... TODAY, kenneth the auditor came to her when i was out n asked her to open the lock for him cos he wans to check the box...... luckily, i changed the lock....... when i came back fr lunch n she related the case to me n then said "nasib baik ada tukar tadi"...... told her so many times til i oso no strength d but she dun take it as a big deal...... kek khi lo......

anyway, enuff of the my partner d.... i can say a lot bout her wan cos she really kek si wa wan...... 1 roll of cloth oso not enuff to cover all her things...... i got to noe kenneth quite well on the 1st day i went back to work n lead to my officers n sum colls tot tat i knew him even b4 he came to our branch..... truth is, tat is the 1st day i noe him..... hahaha!!!! tis wed, we will b going to karaoke together viv the 3 other auditors n sum colls as well...... tis batch of auditors r very young.... the eldest being as old as i m n chris n kenneth is a yr younger than me...... the other i dun noe cos never talk to her b4..... haih.... now so sleepy..... for the past 8days i did not sleep enuff..... which lead me to slight fever on sat n sun nite after i finished class.... anyway, now i wan to go oink oink d..... if not, tomolo i will b very short tempered d..... hahaha!!!!

06th of Sept 2008

2008-09-06T17:48:00.002+08:00

well..... finally went to watch The Mummy viv audrey n blieve it!!!! the cinema oni hv us 17 ppl in it watching..... n guess wat.... i was laughing n laughing n laughing til ppl looked at me.... i really cant help it cos it was very funny..... never tot it wld b tis funny.....

n its been raining since last nite though it stopped for awhile in the morning....n its getting heavier..... wan to go out oso no mood d....... i oso dun noe how to take my parents out for dinner d...... its my parent's wedding anniversary today.... if not mistaken, it shd b the 28th anniversary..... n its raining so heavily tat i really dun noe where to go..... scared tat most roads will jam n sum more start to puasa d.... scared tat more ppl will go out for dinner........

04th of Sept 2008

2008-09-04T19:17:00.002+08:00

today i m on mc as i woke up feeling worst than yesterday..... after i went to the dr's for the mc, i reached home n made myself breakfast n then took my medicine.... n then sat awhile b4 i head to my bed n slept...... i had never slept so much i my life n today i did... but i still weak n my head is still spinning..... sth is not rite..... but i m not sure..... cos each time i fell sick n rest the next whole day, i never had tis type of body weak n feeling lightheaded.... today is diff...... but i hope tomolo i will get better cos no matter how oso mz go back to work...... the auditors came today... n i m worried tat my partner will do wrong things...... oredi early morning call me non-stop d...... hope everything goes smoothly til they leave...... i m praying damn hard n crossing fingers tat everything goes on well....

03rd of Sept 2008

2008-09-03T22:50:00.002+08:00

i m damn sick today.... woke up feeling off color n feeling not well.... early morning oredi felt dizzy... then a regular customer of mine came n commented tat i looked very pale n work oso not my usual style..... but he is speaking the truth lo.... i m not my usual working style today lo...... until i kenot tahan oredi, i dcided to go c the dr.... n kynor n amber came to fetch me to the dr..... then tot wan to immediately head back home after work.... but oyi called.... n informed me tat she got 2 free tix for movies tonite n asked if i wan to join her.... at 1st, i did not wan to go but at last, i tot otherwise though i was so sick..... while waiting for her to come fetch me fr my office, i fell asleep at my desk n by the time oyi called, i felt much better than b4 i napped.... n we tot tat we were quite late for the movie but it did not yet when we went in..... by the time, we settled down at pur seats, then oni the ad started to play..... the movie was called Babylon A.D. n frankly to say, i dun really noe wat the story is all abt..... vin diesel's abs is very very nice, n melanie thierry is very beautiful..... i m mesmerised by her....... hope to c more of her in future..... provided she is not in the scary movie, i m ok viv it.....

n while in the cinema, i heard how 1 of dell's staff introduced their spouse to his coll..... "come, let me intro.... tis is my wife.... tis is his wife......" i bet anybody who heard tis wld laugh man..... where's name? wat if they meet next time? "how r u, his wife?" hahaha!!!! wat a joke....

anyway.... now as i m typing all tis, i m starting to c stars n vision getting blurrer d...... felt so lightheaded n wan to pengsan d..... so i guess, i will stop here for the day.... anything tat i miss out, i will continue in the next blog..... (if i remember)..... i oso wan to thank kynor n amber for their time n kynor's transport to the dr's....... die liao la..... now my tummy is giving signals tat i wan to go toilet n vomit d.... i better go to sleep......

30th of August 2008

2008-08-30T22:21:00.003+08:00

well.... since the last post, many things happened n i will try towrite as much as i can......

25th of August 2008

kynor n i had dinner together at sakae as agreed the week b4..... he was the 1 said tat he will go sakae on salary day..... so we did..... n amber came viv us n oyi too.... n we even met up viv him.... kynor n i reached 1st n went in to grab a table b4 the queue starts.... n guess wat matt came n took our drinks orders n he was looking at me n then asked if i work in PBB.... kynor looked back at me n laughed n asked him how did he noe n he told me tat previously followed a fren of his to my branch for sth n cme to my table for enquiries..... he even told me tat there is oni CSRs n 1 is a malay lady n the other is me...... i told him tat i cld not recall cos i meet a lot of customers everyday n those regulars i will definately remember.... n then he smiled n walked away to bring us our tea..... then oyi came.... n followed by him......

the moment he came, the relief supervisor, naylin came together viv a waitress n matt too n starts to kacau him...... its oso the 1st time i saw naylin smiled..... n i looked at him n told oyi tat its the 1st time i c him smile n she said tat i hv a thing for sakae's supervisor..... wahahahahaha!!!!!! oyi, no la..... its jz tat the 1st time i saw him on the 23rd, he wasn't smiling n looked very like a discipline teacher...... if not for him, i wld not hv saw naylin smiled......... anyway, after introduction btw all of them n kynor was looking at the menu for his food n kept asking wat is gd..... n so happened tat the x-supervisor is there so he started flipping the menu n xplaining the gd 1s to kynor...... after cfming our orders, finally we told him how to tackle the interview..... n in btw, found out tat is fr penang too n staying in jelutong...... until amber came to join our conversation..... we told him wat to do n wat to say n he was very attentive listening......

not very sure if anybody actually notice tis.... but i did notice tat when he speaks, he looks at me even when he was tokking to kynor..... n every now n then even when tokking to oyi or amber who sat exactly opposite him, he wld eye me as well...... n i felt tat he is not as shy as the day i met him at mcd oredi..... cos he did not blush like tat day..... he really is very shy type wan..... n the way he speaks, sounds like he is very childish in thinking...... i bet he mz b the youngest..... really beh tahan wan lo..... really can make ppl laugh wan.... after tat, we went our way leaving amber, kynor n myself..... we followed kynor to look for his cleanser n guess wat, he is even worst than ladies..... the brand (suisse programme) tat he is using, amber n i oso dun noe wan...... n when we followed him to The Face Shop n Sasa, the salesgal mistaken us as the buyer.... n when we told her tat its kynor who wan to buy things, she looked shocked but ended up laughing all the way cos kynor was joking viv her as he tried on new pdts.... really funny....

as i was having a bad headache, i tot after kynor bought his cleanser, they wld wan to leave but amber overheard tat kynor is meeting up viv his frens at Old Town, Sunshine Sq, she immediately brightens up n said she wans to follow n asked me to follow her too...... in the end, i did....... n reached home at exactly 12 midnite.... luckily, its a holiday on the 26th due to the Permatang Pauh's elections.....

26th of August 2008

woke up jz as i heard NWT's call..... n then she came over n we left for lunch as well as fetch amber too..... we had our lunch at Super Tanker n then head to Paya Terubong for facial viv eddie's wife at their hse..... we were there for 3hrs!!!!! n frankly, my facial is very short nia wan..... but cos she was 'cleaning up' NWT's face which is full of blackheads..... after tat, amber n i head to town to pay credit cards n then head home.......

29th of August 2008

today was a busy day for all of us as today is the last day of the mth as well as its a working day followed by a 3 days holidays..... so we had our time working non-stop..... n then had dinner viv the branch staff at siriwan..... every food they had was spicy n most of them can't take it as it was very spicy for them..... overall, we njoyed our dinner......

30th of August 2008

today woke up late..... i overslept my alarm by 45 mins n rushed like mad as i had an appointment viv a customer at 12.30pm at e-gate n i hv to fetch my bro to collect my dad's car at sg tiram..... luckily i reached on time.... after tat i headed to eleen's hse for dinner n then fetch her to do manicure n pedicure at nail world, krystal point..... tis is the 1st time i ever had such luxury for my nails...... n it cost me RM116 for both manicure n pedicure....... but now, my nails r beautiful...... for the pics, pls refer to frenster..... i will b putting up pics there..... but RM116 does not oni do filing n upkeeping of the nails but mask n massage for the arm n lower leg as well.... overall, it was njoyable..... its quite worth it for the price lo...... n i met a customer of mine there as well..... n she told me tat its gd to b doing nails..... help to keep our nails clean n of cos beautiful...... plus, doing pedicure smoothens my cracked heels...... at least now, my heels r easy to care for now..... n it made me tot over tat i shd do tis to clean up the dirt (i meant the cracked heels n the cuticles)...... but of cos mz find a cheaper 1 la..... tis price will kill me sooner man...... hahahaha!!!!!

n my godsis was surprised tat i actually noe so many ppl...... i told her tat any profesion oso is my customer..... u wan a normal dr, i hv a few to intro.... for dental? of cos..... there r a few...... optometrist? oso got..... renovations? restaurants? cameras? handphones? boutiques? pharmacy? all oso got..... never to worry..... of cos la..... when u r in the service line esp like mine, u will hv a lot of customer fr diff diff profesion..... it oni dpends on how gd u r viv them tat u can go back to them in time of need..... hahaha!!!!

n i hope n pray tat everything goes smoothly for him on tues for his in..... frens oso can care wan..... oh ya.... airasia is alwix like tat.... they sent a msg viv tis content "URGENT: UR AIRASIA FLIGHT QZ9002 DPS-HUL 16OST08 AT 7.50 RETIME EARLY TO 06.00. INFO 60387754000 OR 622180899000. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE CAUSED. THANK YOU." u say la.... 6am's flight means tat i hv to b at the airport by 4am..... n give it a 45mins drive fr the hotel to airport n 2 ppl bathing, means tat we hv to wake up at 2am!!!!!! i tot over n told the rest of them as well n we decided tat we will not sleep on the nite.... instead, we will go a drink n then head back to hotel foe last min packing n the check out...... imagine tat.... checking out in the middle of the nite!!!!! 1st time ever..... tried checking in during midnite b4 but never check out....... teruk betui...... airasia's fault..... we cld not switch flight cos if we do so, we not oni hv to pay the chgs, we cld ot reach on time to catch the transit plane back to pg tat we bought...... haih......... su more tot wan to take airasia on my next trip to hk n macau predicted in 2009..... haih...................... c how la..... i think mz go n sound sound to airasia bout tis..... making the passengers life harder nia......

oh ya!!! b4 i forget..... Happy 51st Birthday to Malaysia!!!!! i pray for unity n peace in the country........

23rd of August 2008

2008-08-23T23:18:00.003+08:00

woke up tis morning viv a blur head.... took a bath n went to fetch mum fr work.... since yesterday when he told me tat he will b going for an interview at PBB on sept 2nd, i hv been thinking if he can make it, whether will he b able to answer the interviewer's questions.... so i IM kynor to enquire n he told me quite a bit too.... so i was thinking if i shd tell him all tis so tat he is prepared for tat day..... then as i was bathing, i tot of smsing amber to c if she wans to go out for lunchn when i came out fr toilet, i saw her sms asking me if i wan to lunch viv her.... so i replied her n then i left the hse for mum then head to super tanker to buy lunch for herself n dad then put back home b4 going out viv amber....

then we went to QBM n went there for lunch again!!! but he was not there..... instead, there was a new supervisor..... din feel anything amiss until i smsed him to ask if he needs tips for the interview n he told me tat he is free fr now on n i asked y n if he had resigned.... then oni he replied tat he had resigned n yesterday was his last day.... so we tried arranging to meet up to pass him sum tips n in the end, we r meeting coming monday at sakae..... ahahaha...... but there will b kynor, ygl n me n mayb sum other colls who wants to join..... but its ok..... i dun mind.... plus, not we got anything...... FRENS NIA MA!!!!!!!! nth wan.... so 'mou mou ren' dun think otherwise ok....... ;-p

22nd of August 2008

2008-08-23T01:20:00.003+08:00

went to eat there again n he was working..... when making payment, audrey was non-stop teasing us.... n it made us so shy towards each other..... n he asked y i did not use PBB's credit card n i said tat i need to use 6 times a yr for waiver.... PBB no need wan ma.... then i tot of tat he wanted to apply for PBB n asked if he had submitted... n he replied tat they had called n asked him to attend the interview on 2nd of sept.... n ngam ngam, it was the end of the transaction d n he smiled n said thank u n i smiled in return n left.... for the toilet, n i think i announced quite loudly infact.... cos i met him at the entrance of the toilet n we both smiled at each other...... if its not bcos of audrey, i think we wld hv spoken viv ease..... imagine how paiseh we were when we were talking jz now.... i dun even dare to look at him n audrey scolded me cos i did not look at him when he was talking to me.... i paiseh ma..... he oso ma...... haih......

21st of August 2008

2008-08-23T01:17:00.001+08:00

Woke up viv a dream lingering too… I dreamt of a fren of mine coming back to town n the moment he saw me, he hugged me so tightly n said tat he missed me very much…. Then while walking to the car, he held me by his side tightly….. 3mths n tis is the 5th dream tat I had of him….. funny…. Very funny…..

Anyway, today, sth real funny happened in the office…. A customer came in during lunch time n was frustrated about the machine cos its was jammed during his transaction….. n so happens tat kynor was at my table n he helped me viv tis uncle…. The uncle told kynor tat he banked in cash n it jams n we tot it was the cash machine…. But when I asked kynor to check for me, it was the cheque machine instead…. Later we found out tat tis damn smart uncle went to the cheque machine to bank in cash!!!! No wonder the machine jammed n went out of service………… haih……… we dun noe if we wan to laugh or not…. Even the tots of it oso makes me wan to laugh….. a great way to release tension during the peak time tat I had today as my partner is on CL cos her son was admitted to hospital…… hopefully the uncle learnt his lesson n read the signs b4 proceeding…… ;-p

20th of August 2008

2008-08-20T21:10:00.003+08:00

tis morning woke up viv a dream lingering in my mind..... i dreamt of him.... he was viv all his x-colls n i was viv ygl n her bf.... we went travelling n met him n his x-colls...... n the moment i saw him, he was like a mirror to me tat i jz walked pass him vivout a word... did not even look at him at all... i guess it's all said n done btw us... i no longer hv anything to say to him... infact, seeing him again in future, i blieve i will do as i did in the dream.... chinese saying "zoi kin yik si phang yao" is not meant to b applied here in our relationship..... after all tat he did to me, i dun think i will c him as a fren anymore..... an expensive lesson of life tat i learnt will forever stay fresh in my memory..... a knife tat was painfully twisted into my heart will leave a scar forever.....

11th of August 2008

2008-08-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

for the past few days, the moment my phone's msg tone rings, i will start to think.. is it him? will it b him? but there was none..... i think its jz nth nia kua.... still being frens is the best... at least the tension is not there..... it will b more relax talking to him like last thurs.... at 1st, i was very shy to talk to him but when it started, we r like frens within minutes..... my...

09th of August 2008

2008-08-10T22:37:00.003+08:00

dun noe y lately i hv been having a restless feeling...... tis feeling had been lingering for more than a week d n today, it jz got worst.... tiff left me a msg tellin me tat aun's mum got problems n wan to get in touch viv soon.... but i told her tat we oredi broke up n she said tat its ok..... then fr then on, though his mum lingers in mind but it was never tis bad feeling as today..... tis morning i got so restless n had a feeling tat sth bad happened to her.... i hope my 6th sense is not the truth cos i dun hope her anything but health.... really dun noe y today felt so so so restless......

i msged oyi telling her tis restless feelings but she told me tat it's none of biz anymore.... but i really can't help tis restless feeling.... i pray for everything to well for his mum..... though its jz once tat i met her n thrice spoken to her, i oso dun hope anything bad to happen..... if i cld, i wld hv called his mum n ask her myself..... but she had oredi changed her contact no as she did not reload the last no for a period of time n the no got discontinued........

07th of August 2008

2008-08-07T22:34:00.002+08:00

today i woke up viv a blue mood but brighter than yesterday's.... at least i din spend a lot of time choosing my colour today... anyway, ai tee smsed me during lunch n asked to meet up for dinner tonite n i replied her at almost 4pm as i was quite bz today.... n she told me tat she will b meeting him over dinner too n asked if i m ok viv it.... frankly, i din mind so i agreed....

6pm came n dun noe y i dreaded.... i dragged time until 6.15pm n left office for qbm.... i msged her once to confirm their meeting place n went there.... the 1st 1 i saw was him n then oni ai tee n her husband n her sister... then i sat down n he smiled at me.... n then continued viv listening to ai tee's husband explaining sum investment savings plans lo.... but i caught him eyeing me a few times as i was talking to ai tee.... u noe, he was all red!!!

then dun noe how in the end we started talking to each other n he turned normal again.... n we talked n talked n talked n talked.... n dun noe how we ended up exchanging our contact no!!!! my god.... never taken tis path b4.... haih.... he was talking bout buying phones then we discuss a bit on phone models n then he said tat he actually was looking at buying k770 so i asked if he oredi survey the price, he said yes.... but still not within his capabilities.... so i told him tat if he wans to buy phones, i can intro to him la since i noe frens in tis line of business.... n he bright up like a little boy given his fav sweet n replied me... so i called wayne for the price n told him the price lo.... n it got him thinking damn hard.... he looks very interested in buying d... tats y he told me tat he will call me after he tot over....

then we oso talked bout him changing jobs... it seems tat he actually submit his resignation letter to his boss but it was returned n his boss asked him to stay on.... then he told us tat he once applied for PBB but did not attend the interview cos he mistook tat he was to b based in kl when he wans to stay in pg..... so i explained to him tat all interviews were done in kl, the main office but the position depends on ur choice n subject to availability in the branch.... he tot tat he was to b based in bangi, kl... i told him tat bangi is our training centre n we oni go at least once a yr n not to b based there unless u r in IT.... then oni he understand.....

oh ya! while exchanging contact nos, i gave him my namecard n he was looking at it n said "ooo... yuan lai ur name is khoo lean lu..... very special name.... wat's ur chinese name?" then i told him to turn to the back of the card n he said "ooo.... ur chinese name is even more special...." then he asked if i got english name n i told him lo.... i guess he will remember my english name lo....

felt so on cloud nine now.... still wondering how everything goes so fast n tat we exchanged contact no..... i m now wondering if the next time i go sakae wat will the situation b like since oredi noe him...... speaking of sakae, jz now he was non-stop teasing me.... when i reached, ai tee was asking me wat i wan to eat for dinner n i said i dun noe n he replied telling me to go sakae lo..... then after tat, when ai tee's sister wans to go buy fries time, ai tee asked if i wan to eat anything n i said no since i still cant think of wat i wan to eat n he again replied me to go sakae pula..... then when we were leaving mcd time n ai tee asked me again wat to eat n i said dun noe, he again told me to go sakae..... haih..... really kek si wa nia.... now i can confirm tat he can recognise me for being a regular at sakae..... kept teasing me bout sakae..... kek si wa nia.....

anyway, i m still on cloud nine due to wat happened..... but i m having an extreme headache tat i kept crying.... now i really wan to go n sleep..... if not i sure kenot sleep due to pain d.....